Three choices in life; Give up, Give in or Give all you've got!!

liltdiddylilt

Oh October you poor thing!! I was 11 when I had a nervous break down and you strike such a chord within me, I just want to give you a hug!!! :grouphug: - horrific going through that sort of thing at such a young age and I really did have all the same issues. Not to mention a compulsion to tell my DM every single thing I had ever done in my life that was bad. Stupid stuff like hiding a drawing of my sisters years before.... lol.

Lucky I defo concur, you need to go and see the GP for YOU sweetheart. We are always saying thing. You have too much on your shoulders for one person. You are in a constant state of red alert because you unfortunately have to think about what may or may not happen with DH constantly. And you have done this so well, so amazingly for 4 years now that your body is just starting to tell you, as is your brain, that you might need a bit of a rest or some help. Think of it as just another thing you have to do for DH and the boys. You wouldn't hesitate to get the car maintained so that it was ready to take them anywhere they needed to be. So why aren't you maintaining their mum, carer, food maker, house cleaner, medicine giver and chief ball juggler hmm?

Love you. Don't like seeing you like this. Please call the doctor... xx

Levi-

*raises hand meekly to join the panic attack club* .. once so bad I ended up in an ambulance ~made SUCH a spectacle out of myself it was so embarrassing to have to tell everyone later the reason I was in an ambulance.~ But that was my naivety. I am not ashamed now, treat it like any other medical condition and 'touch wood' I haven't had one for quite a while. They are like nothing else in the world and 100% terrifying!

Incidentally - the paramedics advised that my heart rate was over 200bmp and if it stayed that way for much longer I would have been in serious physical danger so these things aren't to be taken lightly.

to you all x xxxxxxxxxxxxx x

grannyx2

Hugs to everyone that needs it. I think you know what you need to do darling Lucky. In the past few years you've had serious injury of spouse, miscarriages, death of close person, health worries re a Grandma to name but a few, on top of financial stress and bringing up 2 little boys as an almost single parent. Hardly surprising you are stressed x

Hopefuljoy

I am also putting my hand up to join the panic attack group! Aged 17 to thirty five about any decision large or small, self doubt, self hatred and general hopelessness. I was a very nervous child and it just seemed to reach epic proportions! It did tail off during my twenties and by thirty five the only thing that was left was a fear of death.

The doctor is a very good idea as is counselling and practical help. The best two books I ever read though were 'Self Help for your Nerves' which is still in print and also 'How to stop worrying and start living'. I think I've mentioned them before to you all.

The physical feeling is awful but it is only adrenaline and cortisol and you can overcoe it with the right help. I really wish you well Lucky!!! I too had a nervous breakdown but in 2000 when I was older than you Lilty. Since then I've stuck with the medication and reconciled myself to the fact I need it to maintain an even keel. I also need a fairly stable life which is not always possible in our world. The wheels well and truly fell off again last year but they are back on again and fully pumped up now!

You are all amazing and I love catching up with you all each evening. Together we are strong and powerful!

please-let-me-be-lucky

You can all consider yourself hugged! Great big bear hugs frim me to you :A. Thank you all so much for sharing your experiences, both on this thread and by PM. I really appreciate it. Love you all Xxxxx

Today has been a better day for me mood wise, but I will still be making a GP appointment. I think I feel better just for admitting what is on my mind and seeing that a lot of it is worry for nothing. A problem shared and all that. However, it's easy to see that this will spiral and get worse, which I simply HAVE to avoid.

Today has not been such a good day for DH, however. He has been very angry and close to explosion several times. Not fun.

Grandma got home this afternoon :j. I offered to pick her up from hospital and take her home, but Auntie beat me to it. My cousins and I all decided we should descend on Grandma tonight and take food etc for a little tea party, which was brilliant. 16 of us piled into Grandma's flat with food and gifts and Grandma thought it was fantastic. Lovely to be with everyone.

My good deed for the day was to do some shopping for Mum (she paid!) that she couldn't do herself because she was at work.

Knit_Witch

Yay to Grandma being home (and an impromptu tea party) and good for you for seeing the doc - you HAVE to look after yourself young Lucky

liltdiddylilt

Wow!!! Amazing news about grandma and what a party!!! Sounds brilliant and much deserved. Just what she needed I am sure!!!

That sounds like a huge pick-me-up but I am convinced seeing the GP is right, to stop it snowballing we all want out Lucky fighting fit and happy. xxx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Thank you both :A Xx

Random bit of boring news, yesterday was a NSD Xx

liltdiddylilt

Not boring... how many now?!?!

October_Starter

Oh my goodness! Lucky is getting to be such a pro at NSDs. I need to pull my socks up. Hehe

Sweet dreams

October xx