Hollaback

BrassicWoman

lulu_92 wrote: »

Way to generalise half of the world's population in one post.

http://time.com/79357/not-all-men-a-brief-history-of-every-dudes-favorite-argument/

lulu_92

BrassicWoman wrote: »

http://time.com/79357/not-all-men-a-brief-history-of-every-dudes-favorite-argument/

Thanks for that, interesting read. Not what I was trying to do with my post.

I know how horrible sexual harassment is. I've had to go to the police on 4 different occasions because of it. What I was saying is that onlyroz's statement that all men who do this see women as objects is untrue. Half the population is male, I'm sure many of them don't have this outdated view (of course, some still do).

I am in no way condoning the harassment that woman received, nor do I condone any actions that make anyone, regardless of gender, feel frightened or uncomfortable.

But, hey, that's my opinion and I respect yours.

Wouldn't it be so much easier if genders weren't blamed for things and it was actually down to the individual?

BrassicWoman

lulu_92 wrote: »

Wouldn't it be so much easier if genders weren't blamed for things and it was actually down to the individual?

I think the power imbalance would have to go first. And that's not going to be in my lifetime.

Tropez

Some of those were pretty bad. The guy saying "Am I too ugly for you?" actually sounded quite threatening. It's the type of self-invested mentality that some serious sleazebags would display.

Some weren't so bad as far as the comments go but at the same time, I'd say why the comments in the first place? It just isn't necessary. I fully believe everyone has the right to walk down a street without receiving unwanted comments, regardless of the intention behind those comments. Okay, this is a social experiment but something triggered that experiment; presumably this woman has been on her way to work, to the cinema, well to wherever, and has repeatedly attracted these comments based on nothing more than her appearance. It isn't very fair on her.

We all have to share the same public spaces. There should be a reasonable expectation that we will not be bothered by others while in that space.

onlyroz

lulu_92 wrote: »

Way to generalise half of the world's population in one post. I know plenty of people who don't think this way but would compliment a person in the street.

I'm not saying all of the stuff in that article was okay, some of it was creepy but some of it wasn't as well. I'm not saying it's okay for someone to be made uncomfortable by it but I don't think every single one of those people in that video had ulterior motives (although some probably did)

And I also agree that if this was done to someone at night when they were alone it would be terrifying.

Ulterior motive or not, people need to realise that an unwanted comment from a stranger in a public place *is* threatening, regardless of how innocuous the comment is. We're not talking about a work colleague telling you that they like your top/dress/shoes/hairstyle. We're not talking about being approached in a bar when you're wearing your best clothes and have spent hours putting on your make-up. We're talking about a person walking down a public street in daylight wearing ordinary clothes having to contend with comments on their appearance by complete strangers. This is not acceptable and people need to get this into their heads.

DUTR

onlyroz wrote: »

Ulterior motive or not, people need to realise that an unwanted comment from a stranger in a public place *is* threatening, regardless of how innocuous the comment is. We're not talking about a work colleague telling you that they like your top/dress/shoes/hairstyle. We're not talking about being approached in a bar when you're wearing your best clothes and have spent hours putting on your make-up. We're talking about a person walking down a public street in daylight wearing ordinary clothes having to contend with comments on their appearance by complete strangers. This is not acceptable and people need to get this into their heads.

There is no difference though, if it's uninvited it's not ok to do. Even if it is invited, it's still not OK. Trouble with the video though, is that it has been edited, it would be interesting to see a response if it was an A rated movie star or similar making a pass.

theoretica

DUTR wrote: »

There is no difference though, if it's uninvited it's not ok to do. Even if it is invited, it's still not OK.

That depends on the invitation - if I dressed up as a vampire and walked around for 10 hours I would be bemused by a claim that comments were not OK. A difference is I would expect comments which could be related to the effort put in and not to anything innate.

mgdavid

Tropez wrote: »

...... I fully believe everyone has the right to walk down a street without receiving unwanted comments, .........

how about fully believing everyone has the right to walk down the street and receive wanted comments?

mgdavid

onlyroz wrote: »

....... This is not acceptable and people need to get this into their heads.

To you, maybe, to others, it is. You are not the arbiter of these things on behalf of the entire population of the planet.

Here's a quote from another current thread on this forum which I find co-incidentally relevant:
'A person isn't property but all too often, women allow their insecurities and jealousy to swamp their rationality and try and dictate how the other person should behave...'

Tropez

mgdavid wrote: »

how about fully believing everyone has the right to walk down the street and receive wanted comments?

Sure, if you can prove the girl you're making the comment toward wants you to make that comment.

Otherwise, it is best to keep your mouth shut and not be a complete !!!.