Hollaback

IceAngel

To me, this isn't about being offended. It's the fear that words could become something more. That the person will either be offended that I don't engage, or take any engagement as encouragement. For example, at the Birmingham carnival this year, a young woman was being groped by a stranger. When she told him to stop, he punched her in the face. If she hadn't stopped him, what might he have done then?


As a woman, if I'm walking or travelling alone, even in daylight, there is always that slight fear that a "compliment" could turn into something far more sinister. I don't let it stop me living my life - but it is a sad fact of life.

trailingspouse

To the men who worry that they are no longer allowed to pass the time of day to a woman.

Don't worry about being misconstrued - we can tell the difference.

Lily-Rose_3

j.e.j. wrote: »

Can't be ar5ed quoting most of your post, but I'm afraid you've lost your authority there m'dear.

j.e.j. wrote: »

You lot are too funny

j.e.j. wrote: »

I (and my friends) been on the receiving end of many such charming remarks. I've walked down the street minding my own business and then heard a car full of blokes yelling obscenities out of the window. Who hasn't.

None of us went home crying to mummy about it. (What's mummy gong to do anyway? Go and chase them :rotfl:) It's just one of those annoying or unpleasant things. Get some perspective!

Oh dear me.

I have quoted just 3 of your posts here, but most of them are cringeworthy and embarrassing. I am actually shocked that any woman has the attitude that you have.

I think it may be time for you to admit you're wrong j.e.j, and for you to call time on posting in this thread. Your posts are really very very ignorant and vitriloic, and you are looking worse and worse with every message you post.

I actually feel quite embarrassed for you.

j.e.j.

Lily-Rose wrote: »

Oh dear me.

I have quoted just 3 of your posts here, but most of them are cringeworthy and embarrassing. I am actually shocked that any woman has the attitude that you have.

I think it may be time for you to admit you're wrong j.e.j, and for you to call time on posting in this thread. Your posts are really very very ignorant and vitriloic, and you are looking worse and worse with every message you post.

I actually feel quite embarrassed for you.

Oh don't feel embarrassed on my part. There is no vitriol on my part, though quite a few users seem to be stirring things up and quoting selectively;)

This board is known for its cliquiness, and anyone expressing an opinion that goes against the majority is subject to schoolyard bullying and ganging-up. That is well known, even across the internet.

I won't be shooed off just because a bunch of anonymous forum users happen to disagree with me, most of whom aren't even engaging in a debate, but simply name-calling (a sure sign of the fragility of their position)

I see DUTR has given up and left the thread, too. I only mention him because he's another one who often ends up on the receiving end of the hysteria on this board.

kingslayer

Can I just ask (without being chastised) why you women kn here think it's bad for a straight, single guy to approach women he doesn't know with the aim of getting to know them? Please don't say it's creepy; it's just human nature for the opposite sex to want to know the other. Okay, so there's women who won't find a guy attractive and likewise, but at the end of the day, I don't see the big issue with a guy approaching a woman in public places (outside of social events/atmospheres) with the aim of getting to know each other.

By the way, I'm not talking about pervy guys who shout sexual comments at women; I'm talking a normal guy who genuinely wants to meet that woman. I just feel it's very narrow minded to say a guy shouldn't do that. If a woman approached a random guy in the street because she found him attractive and wanted to meet him, and find out he's personality, I doubt many guys would find that creepy.

lulu_92

Every time I see this thread pop up I think of Gwen Stefani.

She has a point, this thread has turned bananas ; B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

j.e.j.

kingslayer wrote: »

Can I just ask (without being chastised) why you women kn here think it's bad for a straight, single guy to approach women he doesn't know with the aim of getting to know them? Please don't say it's creepy; it's just human nature for the opposite sex to want to know the other. Okay, so there's women who won't find a guy attractive and likewise, but at the end of the day, I don't see the big issue with a guy approaching a woman in public places (outside of social events/atmospheres) with the aim of getting to know each other.

By the way, I'm not talking about pervy guys who shout sexual comments at women; I'm talking a normal guy who genuinely wants to meet that woman. I just feel it's very narrow minded to say a guy shouldn't do that. If a woman approached a random guy in the street because she found him attractive and wanted to meet him, and find out he's personality, I doubt many guys would find that creepy.

You'll be lucky! :rotfl:

There's their way of thinking and there's the wrong way, don't ya know..

Izadora

j.e.j. wrote: »

If you'd quote according to the context, rather than your own agenda, you'd know that there IS no parallel between light-hearted chat/sexual banter and keeping black people in chains and calling them that word. And it's pretty disgusting of you to play that card, tbh.

I don't think anyone was saying that unwarranted comments are the same as keeping black people in chains but where there IS a parallel is that calling a black person that word and shouting out at women are both things which are unacceptable but have (and in the case of women still are to a large extent) been excused as "just a bit of a laugh".

Caroline_a

j.e.j. wrote: »

If you'd quote according to the context, rather than your own agenda, you'd know that there IS no parallel between light-hearted chat/sexual banter and keeping black people in chains and calling them that word. And it's pretty disgusting of you to play that card, tbh.

You are obviously far too blinkered or too young to remember the likes of Alf Garnet and Love Thy Neighbour. Disgusting? yes. Which is what most women think of the type of attitude that you think is a bit of fun. Let us know which part of this you find amusing - because when it came out it was considered a comedy programme. Attitudes change, thank heaven, and we can only hope that bit by bit these 'banter' attitudes that you find so endearing will become as reviled as the ones from the link above.

j.e.j.

Izadora wrote: »

I don't think anyone was saying that unwarranted comments are the same as keeping black people in chains but where there IS a parallel is that calling a black person that word and shouting out at women are both things which are unacceptable but have (and in the case of women still are to a large extent) been excused as "just a bit of a laugh".

Caroline_a wrote: »

You are obviously far too blinkered or too young to remember the likes of Alf Garnet and Love Thy Neighbour. Disgusting? yes. Which is what most women think of the type of attitude that you think is a bit of fun. Let us know which part of this you find amusing - because when it came out it was considered a comedy programme. Attitudes change, thank heaven, and we can only hope that bit by bit these 'banter' attitudes that you find so endearing will become as reviled as the ones from the link above.

OK, can we get back to post 104, which was asking the (genuine) question, where does banter stop and harrassment begin?

Some good and thoughtful responses were written after that, before the bickering began again.