Anxiety and Debt Free Wannabe

Woodster76

I was going to update my figures but got side tracked and now I can't open my excel sheet with the figures. I think I managed about £20 in the end. Was more but didn't realise there was a new c/c statement with £26 interest added on! I shall update signature later.

Bit of a bad day today - I couldn't get myself out of bed and slept loads. I know I'm not depressed, think it's more exhaustion. Finally received an email from the solicitors which I read late last night. Forms are back from the courts. And another email could I give him call. Something about either getting the settlement by Cheque or pay £18 for a BACS transfer which they'll knock off the settlement amount. Bloody cheek wanting me to pay for it to be sent to the solicitors account and then I'll probably have to pay again to get transferred to my account. I mean he doesn't get the money to me on time then he has to pay extra? Or go to prison! Maybe I've read that wrong. I could be awkward and not pay it but may result on a bigger solicitors fees! I'll have the discussion on Monday.

Been thinking how I can improve on myself. I started smoking again when I was depressed early last year. I want to quit! I bought some vaping things earlier on this year so for now I will try and stick to them. I did try at the beginning of the week when I thought it was a good time to do it but a few hours in I had to pop out to the shops. Think I'm in a better frame of mind and I just need to give myself time to get use to the vaping. Not sure if it'll save me a huge amount of money but at least I won't smell of fags, the flat won't smell of fags (I shouldn't be smoking in the flat) and I won't be putting in as many horrible chemicals in my system. Whilst I'm not working it'll give me a chance to get use to it all and get through any side effects if any.

Suppose I'd better try and get some sleep if I can. Visiting folks later. Sure they will be asking me how work is. I really don't want them knowing I'm off. Otherwise they'll be wanting to take me out places and spending time with me. That's ok but I feel I need this space and time to work on myself and do a few things around the flat like cleaning and organising and other little bits I haven't got round to doing for one reason or another.

Woodster76

Turns out I only paid £15.42. So that's £948.45 paid off in total with another £8227.66 still outstanding to pay.

Woodster76

Not been a good couple of days - my sleep patterns are all over the place. Not getting to sleep til the early hours of the morning and then sleeping in til mid day. Not today! Woke up about 8ish thanks to the occupants upstairs stomping around- lol.

Phoned solicitors and he's probably thinking I'm being pig headed but I won't pay the £18 for his solicitors to transfer the money to their bank account. So Cheque it is and with Christmas I probably won't see the money until after the New Year.

It's another day of not sure what to do with myself! Will have to make myself a list and probably end up ignoring it!

Hope everyone has a good day x

Woodster76

Had a good think about the past few months. I seem to be stuck in the past with the whole divorce thing. Whilst I'm trying to get on with the future as I have done with getting a good job, keeping my part time job, moving into a rented flat and sorting out the debts, I just feel like the depression/anxiety is sabotaging my future. I've read that depression comes from thinking about the past and anxiety thinking about the future too much. Having both is absolute carp!
I need to move forward - just not sure how to. Maybe recognising what I'm doing to myself is a start and I do feel a little better about it and I can work on it over the next few days instead of burying my head in the sand.

Woodster76

Not done much debt busting! £10.61 reduction on the debt.

Still not sleeping. Maybe that will come back when I go back to work! Slipped up on the smoking - not had one for 24hrs now and I feel ill.
The absolute has come through yesterday - finally.

So main aim next week - get myself back to work and throw myself into it.

Woodster76

Finally - over the £1000 paid off since October! £1128.08 to be exact - yey!

Next target get down to 8K. Another £48.03 to pay off which I want to get to by the 31st. With Xmas and my online banking taking ages to process the payments and update the totals we'll see.

Get paid from 2nd job this Friday. Don't think I'll get the full amt so things may get tight over the next couple of weeks.

Feeling positive about the future now that I can put past the last couple years behind me.

Need to set myself some challenges for next year. I'll have a think....

Woodster76

After two weeks sick leave its back to work tomorrow! In both jobs. It's going to be a long day. I'm not looking forward to either chats with both managers if they do my return to work. Being signed off with Anxiety & Depression makes me feel vulnerable. I think for them to understand what it is they either need to have gone through it themselves or watched someone close to them struggling with it.

Not been great at getting much sleep. Seem to feel tired at 5 am then fall asleep til mid day. So a bit paranoid I'm gonna hit that snooze button a few times and get up late. I'm already tucked up in bed in the hope I somehow drift off. Fingers crossed.

Night all.

Woodster76

Sorry been missing for a few weeks...... I got my settlement money and decided to pay off all the debts. Then had a couple of crazy weeks of just spending. I think it's because the whole divorce thing is over I don't have anything to worry about so I really don't know what to do with myself!
I took £300 out on the 31st Dec which was meant to last me the whole of Jan and as of today I have £28 left! Gas, electricity food petrol probably about £150 not sure what's happened with the rest though.

So I'm back to basics but I feel I need a bit of retail therapy at some point.
I do have gift cards from Christmas so may need to put a bit extra towards them to get what I want.

I'm carrying on this diary as even though I've paid the c/c & loans off I've borrowed the money from the settlement. Therefore I'm in debt, just no interest payments to pay.

So with the debts paid plus the solicitor fees I owe £9100.00 - back to where I was October last year! Urrrghhh!

FinallyDebtfree2017

Hi woodster76

Did you get yourself out of the spending spree?

I hope you are better and taking time out to look after yourself

Woodster76

FinallyDebtfree2017 wrote: »

Hi woodster76

Did you get yourself out of the spending spree?

I hope you are better and taking time out to look after yourself

Thanks FinallyDebtFree2017.
I wouldn't say I was better. I was high as a kite once the divorce came through but been feeling rather flat the last couple of weeks. Sleeping loads - I must be exhausted. Anxiety gone but I think I need to go for counselling - I just can't be doing with the on line stuff I need to talk to a human. Just stuff I've buried away the last 20yrs have resurfaced all because I fell out with someone last week. Sorry men but I don't trust what you say anymore or its my behaviour that makes em think I can be treated that way. Made an enquiry ... Just waiting.
And no not hit the shops yet. But getting a much needed hair cut this afternoon. With the anxiety some of my hair fell out so its not looking good. See what magic my hairdresser can do.

So I need to put a job application in for a permanent position for where I currently work. I mean it's only been advertised the last 10 days and I done nothing about it.