Am I being unreasonable? Teenager's untidy room

newcook

Tell her that her housekeeping/rent is going up by £20 per week to cover mice/rat traps, fly-paper, air-fresheners and to replace cups/plates/glasses etc

z.n

OP I feel your pain. When you have found the answer please let me know!! I have two like this and we have 'big clear outs' every school holiday- but it can take two or more days of nagging to make it happen. IN between we have regular amnesties for things that have gone missing (generally glasses, small bowls and side plates- so sad but I am grateful for the use of a plate at all.)

Personally (as a neat teen myself but with a very messy sister) I think there is not much you can do about it unless you want to fight constantly. They will grow out of it- my sister's house is spotless (and irritatingly her child is a neat one.)

emilybean

I'd be going in and doing it myself, can't deal with mess in my home lol.
Reading some posts has reminded me of the time my brothers ignored my Mum's requests for them to bring plates out of their room, she served fish fingers chips and beans, onto the kitchen table for their tea.

onlyroz

She's 18 and so should take some responsibility - so say that she either keeps it clean herself or she'll have to pay for a cleaner.

Idiophreak

avogadro wrote: »

Maybe when she wants to bring friends or boyfriends back she will start to be a bit more tidy and hygienic? I wouldn't visit someone whose room was so disgusting.

You'd have though, by 18, that this would already have reared its head...

How does she react when she has people round, OP? Is she embarrassed by the mess, or does she not see the problem?

Anyway, she's an adult sharing a house now, I'd tell her to start acting like it.

Kaye1

Mice paradise.......

missprice

When mine went through this I gave them one of every item needed, plate/glass/knife/fork/spoon etc. If it wasn't brought down and washed up, they got no dinner, if brought down and unwashed, they got dinner put on the unwashed plate and used unwashed cutlery.

Also if the smell or messiness got too much for me, I shut the door every time I passed the room.

They grow out of it eventually.

trailingspouse

Have you told her that it smells? She may be used to it and not notice.

Did you expect her to tidy her room when she was 6? 13? 15? If not, then she's unlikely to start now (or even to know how to go about it).

Personally I would be expecting an 18 year old to not only be keeping their own room reasonable, but helping out in the rest of the house too.

Buzzybee90

I agree with everyone else, don't let her eat in the bedroom. I was only allowed drinks in mine and we never had any issues of this sort. There's a difference between dirty and untidy and plates etc is definitely dirty.

aileth

I was a complete slob when I was 15-16 and sounds very familiar. What changed me was when one of my friends and my dad commented how much my room stunk. I don't know if it did but I was absolutely mortified that people thought my room smelt like a cesspit. I did a complete 180 because of it.