Am I being unreasonable? Teenager's untidy room

z.n

"Good luck to all infested with teenagers!"

Exactly- an infestation. I knew there must be a word for it!

spoolerdog

I have two sons 16 and 19 and both are mingers. no matter how many times they are told to tidy up their rooms, bring down dishes (which they have been told not to bring to their rooms in the first place), make beds etc etc it is still a fighting match to get them to do it.


what I have found works best is to change the password on the internet router and don't switch it back until the rooms are tidy and kept tidy for at least a week. and then put the onus on both ie if one lets their room gets messy and disgusting again then the internet goes off again and both suffer, tvs are removed etc etc etc. it works for a bit but would love to find a better solution.


don't mind untidy (to an extent) just hate dirty!!!!

cazpost

We weren't allowed to eat or drink upstairs. The fact we didn't have central heating til I was in my twenties probably played a part in encouraging us to stay downstairs most of the time ! My brother was a lot messier than me, and rebellious, and I can remember him and Mum fighting over the cleaning quite often ! I suspect that if parents encouraged their children to take responsibility for a lot more chores these issues would be easier to deal with.My brither and I were ,through neccessity, able to cook,clean,shop and do laundry by the age of 12.

HAC

I don't think it is unreasonable. She is 18 and surely it is not too much to ask her that.

When children get older they get more privileges and with that come more responsibilities. Perhaps time for a coversation about that? Tell her how you feel about the state of her room.

Any tips to help her keep it that way: When her room is a mess there will be consequences. When she needs a favour, like a lift to somewhere, you don't give her a lift etc

I hope that helps and good luck. I have only my youngest daughter at home at the moment and she is very untidy, so I do sympathize.

Lizbetty

I have two girls, 7 and 9. Both are really messy - the youngest moreso as she hoards things (pebbles, leaves, broken things she finds in the street - sort of like a Womble).

I quite often totally despair at the state of their rooms. All I need to do when I think I can't cope any more is ring my Mum, and she reminds me about the half full coffee cups growing mould, in my open underwear drawer, and crisp bags and sweet wrappers stuffed down the side of my bed. I still don't understand why I found closing a drawer difficult in those days.

That makes me feel a bit better, because my kids are really messy, but not as bad as I was.

It's work in progress, by the way. I don't just put up with it, and they are learning how to dust and wave bye bye to the odd fluffy toy destined for the charity shop (slowly).

happyinflorida

We have a rule that all plates, knives, forks etc and glasses are to be brought downstairs ASAP after they've finished eating - both our sons prefer to eat their dinners in their rooms whilst playing games - they both addicts!! They both do this so we can put the dishwasher on at bedtime.

They're 18 and 22 years old.

The 18 year old has the tiniest room in the house so there isn't much space for mess!

The 22 year old is a messy piglet but I let him off - I know when he gets a girlfriend, if he ever does, it will be cleaned up immaculately as he'll want to impress her!! lol

I occasionally suggest they clean up a bit in their rooms but I don't go overboard as it is their room and they should have it as they want it.

Anything for a quiet life!

amandajane17

My twin boys were once like that and one day I went in and "found" 3 earwigs and a woodlouse under their beds! Their room has always been tidy (ish) since but there have been no food stuffs/plates left in there from the earwig moment and they are 16 now :-)
PS....it did make me queasy picking them out of the garden!

Gillynot17anymore

I'd be tempted to put a dead rat in there - jolt her! My own daughter was pretty disgusting through her teens, has improved a bit now that she's 21 and sharing a flat with Uni friends, so there is hope.
But seriously, I once shared a flat with 3 other girls - one of them drove us all mad. I'm a messy person but she used to use all our crockery and cutlery and leave them growing mould under her bed. If you couldn't find something you waited until she was out then go and ransack her room - it was invariably there. After she'd denied she had it, of course. It did NOT make for harmonious living.
Try telling your daughter this, and point out that if she lives with other people they won't put up with the same antics as her family!
Good luck :wall:

Jagraf

I throw everything that's on the floor onto my daughter bed everyday and tell her to tidy it up otherwise she won't be able to get into bed. She then throws it all on the floor before going to bed. This goes on until I have a mega strop (after about a week) at which point she spends 5 mins quickly tidying it. Then we start again.

I brought down a mug with some hot chocolate in it the other day. There was mould in it. I said to her "look at this, I found it on your window sill" to which she replied "yes, I saw it, revolting isn't it?". Obviously not her responsibility in her world.

I don't allow food. Although I find sweet wrappers hidden in all sorts of places.

Jagraf

Gillynot17anymore wrote: »

I'd be tempted to put a dead rat in there - jolt her! My own daughter was pretty disgusting through her teens, has improved a bit now that she's 21 and sharing a flat with Uni friends, so there is hope.
But seriously, I once shared a flat with 3 other girls - one of them drove us all mad. I'm a messy person but she used to use all our crockery and cutlery and leave them growing mould under her bed. If you couldn't find something you waited until she was out then go and ransack her room - it was invariably there. After she'd denied she had it, of course. It did NOT make for harmonious living.
Try telling your daughter this, and point out that if she lives with other people they won't put up with the same antics as her family!
Good luck :wall:

Dead rat! That would be hilarious!! :rotfl: