Don't Panic!

liltdiddylilt

Miss you Mrs.

Hope you're doing ok xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

Miss you Mrs.

Hope you're doing ok xx

From me too Xx

October_Starter

Hello Lovelies


Thank you for your kind words. I don't feel like I am doing very well at all. It's now over a month since I gave up work and I am still unemployed with just that one interview. I have signed up for 5 agencies and none of them have done anything. I can't even tell you how many jobs I have applied for. I went for the Mr T position with the idea that it got me out of the house and paid some of the bills.


Last week was terrible. OH kept shouting at me and making me feel terrible. He wasn't very well so I was putting it mostly down to that but felt there might have been more to it. Then I came across some messages between him and another girl. Not the kind of messages you want to read as a gf. I know that he isn't having an affair, the girl is abroad. Its just that if he is going that way then he is obviously missing something in our relationship. It has resulted in me having anxiety as I don't want us to split up. I only told my friend in America as my friends and relatives already don't really think he is the one for me. I find this really difficult to hear as he has made me so happy for the last year. I know you are all going to say kick him to the curb etc etc but I sort of understand that it isn't about me but about him. I don't know. I am trying to keep a hold of my emotions. I had a good cry when I read the messages but even then I knew I didn't want us to split up. I thought I was getting over it but last night I had a nightmare about him leaving and woke up screaming for my mum. He was really sweet and cuddled me. We have been getting on loads better and it could have just been a bad week. I am trying to wait and see.


I am so overweight and unfit it is becoming a problem. I have started trying to walk more, like you lovelies suggested. It has been good exercise and helping me to regain my fitness levels. I will need them if I get the Mr T job! I am going to walk to OH's work so we can come home together on the bus. I get my walk then and he gets company on the way home.


They finally fixed our washing machine.. three weeks later! I am trying to do about six loads of washing in two days as my housemate needs it too. I have already done 2 so 4 more to go. lol.


Well I am going to go on to job hunting. I am sorry I am not talking on my diary as much, time just seems to pass me by without me realising.


Hope you are all well.


October xx

Calling14

Aww October.

Sounds as if your feelings could be rubbing off of him. Do something nice together, long walk in Sunshine, wee treat at end, even just a coffee, drink, ice cream.

Cheer up, I am overweight, trying to walk loads but still eating too much. Very difficult as I comfort eat when I am on my own.

Enjoy the lovely weather and stop overthinking things. I wouldn't kick him into the Kerb yet, might just be an eggo boost he is after, chatting to someone.

If he makes you happy, you can only try. Hugs and hope job front bucks up for you soon xx

twiggy86

Hey October

Sorry things have been rubbish. My OH had a bad neck on Monday which means he was angry - that's just his way of dealing with pain - to shout at the world and its wife! So I took myself and the dog for a lovely long walk in the sunshine! Which I found very therapeutic, so hopefully walking will help you both mentally and for exercise.

Hope things pick up for you soon x

monz

Omg October I am so sorry to read that!! If you ever need to talk pm me or even i can pm you my number! Truly hope you are ok x

please-let-me-be-lucky

Sorry to read that October. Did you tell him you found the messages and if so what was his reaction?

I'm not going to tell you to 'kick him to the kerb', only you know what you are willing to forgive. For some the line is way beyond a few messages, for others the messages would be too much to handle. It's a really personal thing and, speaking from experience, the way you think you will react when you discover something like that is never the case in reality.

Big hugs. PM me any time if you want to Xx

beanielou

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Sorry to read that October. Did you tell him you found the messages and if so what was his reaction?

I'm not going to tell you to 'kick him to the kerb', only you know what you are willing to forgive. For some the line is way beyond a few messages, for others the messages would be too much to handle. It's a really personal thing and, speaking from experience, the way you think you will react when you discover something like that is never the case in reality.

Big hugs. PM me any time if you want to Xx

From me too.
Another overweight one too.

October_Starter

I didn't tell him. He has no idea that I saw them. There haven't been anymore and I am making a serious effort to not check as it will only make me the bad person.


I have made more of an effort to spend quality time with him away from home, computers etc. I also made more of an effort to make sure he could see I hadn't been sitting around doing nothing when he was away.


A great example of this was yesterday. I took him to work and then did three or four loads of washing which I hung all over the flat to dry (no outside space and the washing machine has only just been fixed!). I made a cake for us and made sure there were things to hand for lunch and dinner. Then I had a shower and arranged to meet him from work by walking there. It was a lovely sunny day so I left early and sat in the park for a bit. When I got there we got some drinks and he decided that we should walk home. It was lovely as we got to talk without distractions. We made bacon sandwiches together for lunch and then did our separate things at home for a bit before making dinner together. We ended the evening watching a movie and it was lovely.


I think it helped that I got offered a telephone interview for M and Es. I have that at 3pm and it's a £19000 a year position


I think I just needed to show him that I am not just sat at home messing about on my computer. I have my fingers crossed that everything will be ok.


After all my exercise yesterday, I have totally pigged out this afternoon on crap. Need to sort myself out. Don't know why I can't leave the junk food alone.


October xx

twiggy86

I don't think checking would make you a bad person, but it would mean that you didn't trust him which I think is essential in a relationship. I've done it before when me and my OH had been together about a year - found a message I didn't like from a girl I don't trust. Told OH and he explained it and it was genuinely all very innocent. But I learnt my lesson, either I trust him or I don't - full stop. 5 years later and we're still together and I don't think I've ever checked his phone/FB since.

Sounds like you had a lovely day yesterday, pleased it's picked your spirits up. Being busy probably helped you as well as showing your OH that you do get on and do things.

Fingers, toes, legs (and anything else which crosses!) crossed for you!