Don't Panic!

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hope your last hour at work hasn't been too bad Xx

October_Starter

Thank you it wasn't.

I had yummy spaghetti bolognaise for dinner and one for the freezer and then an earlyish night.

Had a bit of a lie in this morning but not sleeping. I've been looking at utube videos and fb in bed. I made some gorgeous porridge for breakfast and was naughty and put a spoonful of chocolate spread into it. Soooo yummy. I really want to try some ideas I saw on utube. Salads in jars. You make them up and put them in the fridge until ready to eat. You just shake the jar and then pour into a bowl. They last up to 4 days. They looked delicious. The channel is called the domestic geek if anyone wants to check it out.

Lots of things to do today so not going to spend too much longer in bed... Hopefully :rotfl:

October xx

twiggy86

Thanks October - I think I'll check that out for some inspiration!

October_Starter

Hi Lovelies :wave:

Well yesterday wasn't very successful . I went and fixed my car door with OH and I realised that it was the first and last full day I could spend with him for awhile so cleared my plans. We were heading back to our flat when he asked what I had planned and I said I didn't have anything planned and we could do whatever he wanted... :mad::mad::mad::mad: He said fine, he was off to play games at the local game shop.. I asked him if he was joking and nope.. off he went. I was really angry at first and then really upset. I ended up locking him out of the flat.. I let him in eventually and he cooked dinner as I wasn't talking to him. He still thinks he hasn't done anything wrong. I normally wouldn't mind but he has had the last 10 days off with Wednesday being totally free of me as I was at work for 12 hours. LOADS of time to go to his gaming shop. He spends a small fortune too. He's already told me he's spending valentine's weekend there and that our holiday plans will have to be cut short as he needs to take time off for various gaming events... Then he wonders why I get annoyed over yesterday. I have been as understanding as possible but it is feeling like the games are more important than me.. :undecided

Otherwise.. I ruined my NSD by going to the shop and getting cake and chocolate to cheer myself up Trying to make today an NSD. We will see how it goes. My loan repayment went out on 21.01 so new balance soon :T

Roll on 28.01 and payday. Only 5 more days to go!

Have a lovely day everyone!

October xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

Oh dear, that does NOT sound like fun. Did you explain to him before he went gaming that it was your only chance to spend time together and you had cleared your plans to do so? I'd be upset too, I can see why you feel his games are more important to him. Are you happy otherwise?

Hope the cake and chocolate were nice. Have a lovely day Xx

Calling14

I can't see what they see in games. You have my permission to go treat yourself more cake or something nice? Men ! Think I am having a weekend on my todd - think bf has his daughter staying over - just would be nice if he let me know grrrrrr. It's not going anywhere anyway.

AleMrsT

My OH is a big gamer, so much so that he worked in games development for 10 years, ive learnt to embrace it and join in with him on the x box, but he only plays games at home, that's the rules. I can see why you're upset, I would be too if he just went off doing his own thing after you'd cancelled plans to spend the day together.
Arrange a get together with your friends, that usually cheers me up :T

October_Starter

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Oh dear, that does NOT sound like fun. Did you explain to him before he went gaming that it was your only chance to spend time together and you had cleared your plans to do so? I'd be upset too, I can see why you feel his games are more important to him. Are you happy otherwise?

Hope the cake and chocolate were nice. Have a lovely day Xx

He did know that it was our first day off together for awhile and I did say that I would be working a long week with a weekend off so it was pretty obvious that I wasn't going to be seeing him much.

Calling14 wrote: »

I can't see what they see in games. You have my permission to go treat yourself more cake or something nice? Men ! Think I am having a weekend on my todd - think bf has his daughter staying over - just would be nice if he let me know grrrrrr. It's not going anywhere anyway.

I was strict with myself yesterday and managed another NSD, also had cake and chocolate left over so ate that!! HAHAHA :rotfl:

AleMrsT wrote: »

My OH is a big gamer, so much so that he worked in games development for 10 years, ive learnt to embrace it and join in with him on the x box, but he only plays games at home, that's the rules. I can see why you're upset, I would be too if he just went off doing his own thing after you'd cancelled plans to spend the day together.
Arrange a get together with your friends, that usually cheers me up :T

I knew when I first went out with him that he was a gamer and I didn't mind as his main game was WoW. I subscribed too and was playing it with him until he started raiding with his guild. I had joined his guild and put work into getting my character ready but his guild refused to even say hello most of the time and he basically told me I wasn't allowed to join the raids. I started playing on my own a lot and then I got bored. Well then our internet connection stopped allowing him to raid so he gave up. Now he is always at the gaming shop playing magic the gath. It's a card game. I have tried getting involved with that but I don't like the people he plays with and the cards are ridiculously expensive. He just spent £75 on a box of them. :eek:

He really doesn't care that I am upset with the amount of time he is spending there. I would like to say it's just in my imagination except he did the same thing again last night. "Have you got any plans for tomorrow afternoon?"
"no."
"Ok then I am going to the gaming shop"
That was just before I went to sleep. Ended up in tears as it just feels like I have to book an appointment to spend time with him. I have tried my best to get involved in the things he likes to do. He complains and moans if he has to spend time with my friends (which is what I like to do). He has made no effort at all. He expects me to do his washing and the cleaning etc and thinks it is out of order for me to keep moaning at him when he does nothing.
I spent my last relationship fighting for attention, I don't see the point in being with someone if you have to work so hard to be appreciated by them. They obviously don't care that much about you if they are doing that.
I don't want our relationship to end. I really don't. I hate the fact that all I seem to do these days is be upset about thing he is or isn't doing. When everything is ok it is lovely. We have a very cuddly and warm relationship, we laugh a lot with each other and we're like kids at times. The bad times do pass but recently there have been a lot more bad than good.

It is hard to watch him go off to do things that I can't join in with, even if I wanted to. I have paid out on all the grocery shopping this month and I am down to less than £60 in my account. He's spent nearly £200 this month alone on his card game.

Am I being out of order? I sometimes say to myself I should be grateful he isn't off with other women or out drinking all the time. He's just round the corner playing card games with a load of other geeky people. It just seems to be ruling his life at the moment and I miss my bf.

October xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

You are not being out of order at all. I am the same to a certain extent in that I try to make everyone else happy before myself and then get miserable when that is taken for granted. I often wonder if their behaviour would change if I stop 'enabling' it.

The only thing you can do is tell him how you feel. Point out exactly what you have told us, especially the money and lonely bit. Make sure he knows you are not asking him to give it up altogether, just maybe do it on days when it doesn't leave you sitting alone Xx

AleMrsT

I agree with lucky, I know it's hard but as long as you make it clear that you are not telling him he can't do it, just asking him to be more considerate about when he chooses to go.