Nice People 13: Nice Save

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

There are two reasons one looks:

- you have a suspicion of something and lack evidence.
- you're frightened things are too great and maybe you've been blind to something, so peek to check you're not being a mug.

Reasons not to look:

- the person's life does not directly impact upon you, it's none of your business.
- complete and utter confidence in everything about your life and relationships.

I'd fall into the camp of: would like to look, if suspicious, wouldn't dare try to look as I'd be caught as I'm really unlucky like that.

I think very few of us are angels.

Who hand on heart has never said anything that is not whiter than white. I do it far too often.

I think its naive to expect mutual friends/acquaintances or family to discuss one. I just feel one can only hope that on balance one comes out some where around the fifty percent or better mark in such evaluation and live such a way that perhaps as a side benefit to life, this is the case.

I don't like it when mean falsehoods are told about me. Some eager rations or wrong conclusions or misconceptions I expect, but 'she said or did x' which are not true would very much upset me, and if I were your friend I would find a way to bring this up. If it were 'she is a
X type of person' well, you know, its probably something to think about. And if its about a behaviour I did and it was misinterpreted or misrepresented I'd let the Chinese whispers go and grow until they came to my ears or until the subject came up indirectly in conversation with me and assert my self somehow there.

Sadly, I know in the past while trying to act well, I've gone too far and pushed blame back because I've sat on it a while. But the spirit was willing. And I'd attempt the same again. I really feel we cannot help friends talking about us, and often the rough gets discussed with the smooth and when friends know where to take the slack for each others' patience in groups the dynamic works well, if all mean well really.

silvercar

There was no suspicion, just a general nosiness. Unfortunately that nosiness uncovered some home truths that had been discussed behind said persons back. So everyone looks bad. And the accusation was made straight away - to much embarrassment and bewilderment at discovery. But it was only a chit chat sort of thing that looks worse written down than it would when said but great offence has been taken with no acknowledgment that you shouldn't read someone's phone.

It will blow over.

lostinrates

Not very helpful to pn, but I might be getting one of these instead of a slow cooker

http://www.charnwood.com/range/stove/island-ii-ct-cooking-top.aspx

Not sure on colour. We have bronze window/door furniture etc in the room so tempting to match, especially as we cannot have the open fire we really wanted and were aiming for and something 'bright' might add the colour and life that open fire with a cauldron over it would have. Otoh, not sure its actually a very nice bronze.

silvercar

lostinrates wrote: »

Not very helpful to pn, but I might be getting one of these instead of a slow cooker

http://www.charnwood.com/range/stove/island-ii-ct-cooking-top.aspx

Not sure on colour. We have bronze window/door furniture etc in the room so tempting to match, especially as we cannot have the open fire we really wanted and were aiming for and something 'bright' might add the colour and life that open fire with a cauldron over it would have. Otoh, not sure its actually a very nice bronze.

Do you have to have the hob controlled by the temperature of the fire? So if you want your room warm, slow cooking may not be possible?

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

Do you have to have the hob controlled by the temperature of the fire? So if you want your room warm, slow cooking may not be possible?

We're actually having another small woodburner with a hot plate too...where one was also planned. My guess is it won&'the be that much different to cooking on a solid fuel range and I'm familiar with that. .

yertiz_2

PasturesNew wrote: »

I am not entirely sure what they're offering there..... but I'd not want to give house room to one of those fires - all the mess and fear of flames, not to mention the hassle/cost of buying in and storing logs and drying them - need to buy a log shelter and pay a man to put it up etc.

And if it's for the hob top - I daren't use the hob yet. I'd dare use it less if I felt it was suppressing the hob's natural method of operation.

Not sure if you have already bought a slow cooker PN, we have used a 'family sized' slow cooker (Ohn from Asda) for years until the ceramic bowl cracked just before Christmas and then purchased a 'Crockpot' to replace it. We cook veg soup and it keeps in the fridge for up to a week. Also cook loads of different meals, great when come home from work to the lovely aroma .... We also purchased a 3.5L Crockpot for my student son for Christmas (Tesco- £17.50 reduced from £35 just checked, still on offer and you can have it delivered both from Tesco groceries and Tesco Direct.) He finds it's just about the right size. Also cuts cooking costs.

Doozergirl

silvercar wrote: »

There was no suspicion, just a general nosiness. Unfortunately that nosiness uncovered some home truths that had been discussed behind said persons back. So everyone looks bad. And the accusation was made straight away - to much embarrassment and bewilderment at discovery. But it was only a chit chat sort of thing that looks worse written down than it would when said but great offence has been taken with no acknowledgment that you shouldn't read someone's phone.

It will blow over.

It will blow over. Karma in action, right there.

Friend was very naughty indeed to be poking where they should not be.

People will always talk behind other's backs. Sometimes out of spite, sometimes out of care, but I do agree with LIR that it is naive to think that people won't form opinions or voice them about you to others.

There won't be a winner. I bet both will profess to feel that they are the more wronged party and that one bad behaviour should be partially eliminated by the other, but it isn't. They've both been silly and both should apologise.

All one can do is always treat others as they would expect to be treated but also understand that you'll never be able to please everyone.

vivatifosi

HAMISH_MCTAVISH wrote: »

There are really two schools of thought with this one.

1) sleep/live in the vehicle. Which means a camperback for the hilux (£11K but damn comfy) or a combined internal bed/camper arrangement for the LC (£7K and less comfy but way more convenient).

That (second) boxes solution is genius. I love the fact that you even have one with a shower in.

Doozergirl

I always set myself a larger goal than I can achieve.

My plan for today was to clear my office and finally beautify it. Ask the boy to remove this big chest of many drawers and possibly fetch chair from
SIL.
Purchase a mirror for the spare room.
Take down the current family photo frames in the hall and replace with new frames and work out what size photos I need to show my children are actually older than 4 and 9.
Choose new photos to be printed and maybe go to shop to get them printed.

This morning I thought it was acheivable.

I have managed hours of filing. The room looks barely better.
And made spag bol for a house full of teenage boys.

I'm sure I used to get more done when I was younger. I have memories of being satisfied after a days work. That never happens now.

Doozergirl

I am losing the will the live.