Nice People 13: Nice Save

tom9980

Someone say pie?

PN are you scared to turn on the tv or computer to talk to us? I am curious if some particular event or events led you down this path when younger?

silvercar

PN I think you are being brave making an attempt to deal with this.

DS2 used to have a fear of flying, he found our GP very helpful as a starting point. There is a lot of self help stuff on the internet.

Kudos to Victoria Coren, she has relinquished her sponsorship deal with pokerstars because they are going into online casinos.

Yorkie1

Just catching up after a few days

Happy very belated birthday silvercar

Ouch to the thumb, fc :eek: Good luck for the clothes show and hope you manage OK.

michaels wrote: »

PN you should be able to get referred to some CBT type therapy but possibly only for a limited number of sessions. Perhaps you can also self help with the right books?

I agree with michaels that CBT might be an option that is appropriate for you. I think there's a website like mindgym.au which gives you an idea of it (I'm not suggesting it's a quick fix for you, but just a taster).

Good luck with finding a GP; one step at a time.

LydiaJ wrote: »

What lir said. Well done PN. :T

My top tip is not to feel that the first "helping professional" that you try will not be the only fish in the sea. If you get on well and it's helping you, then stick with it. If, after several sessions, you are feeling misunderstood and not making progress, then it doesn't mean that professional help doesn't work - just that you haven't found the right person yet and need to try somebody different.

I agree with this too - my experience, over many years, is that at different times in my life I've a) not always been in the right place for moving forward, and b) not always found the right way forward / person to move forward with.

This isn't intended to be dispiriting - just that it's not your fault if it doesn't immediately 'click'.

PasturesNew wrote: »

The thing is ...

It's easy to be hard on yourself because others don't seem to have similar fears, but they are 100% real to you and that's all that matters. Apart from 1-2 trips down to my parents' in Inner Herts per year, for years I haven't gone outside the outer ring road where I live because of anxiety-related fears which are not explicable. The recent course I'm going on, involves me travelling by train to another city, though not during rush hour, and that's a whole big thing...

These fears are me, as yours are you at the moment. There is definitely hope that you will learn coping strategies, so just hold onto that.

But in the meantime, try not to beat yourself up mentally about them, because that is just undermining yourself. Look at how much you've achieved in the last year - a whole host of things you may not have envisaged ever happening :T

One thing at a time and be kind to yourself

silvercar

PasturesNew wrote: »

At least that's entirely avoidable, by not flying

Wasn't in our family. He was young, we weren't ever having a family holiday abroad because he didn't want to fly! And we didn't want him to map out his life with this phobia. Plus he didn't want it.

Rational thoughts helped, like if it was rational to fear flying then no-one would fly. Plus prescribed Valium. He was meant to do a fear of flying course, but didn't need it in the end.

ukmaggie45

Pastures, just want to re-iterate what others have said about counselling being useful. You might get lucky and have a great one to help from the start, but it took me a while and I hit lucky with 3rd. Who I haven't seen for ages (nearly a year) now, and I could do with trying to get back in touch with to "touch base". I think she's done a good job that I manage for nearly a year without contact!

silvercar

Cooking for 1 with limited equipment:

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5122018

zagubov

Sorry to hear about your thumb fc. You were lucky to sort it out before it got in a worse state.

PN I've missed some of the posts but from what I've pieced together I wish you good luck.

vivatifosi

PasturesNew wrote: »

Seems like everybody's a bit of a loon and hiding it ... until I came out and said it

Sorry you've all got your issues, but it's making me feel less of a loon knowing it's not just me

In the real world, nobody's normal and everyone has their quirks. However dealing with phobias is sensible. Congratulations for deciding to deal with yours, I hope you find a great doc locally.

SingleSue

PasturesNew wrote: »

Seems like everybody's a bit of a loon and hiding it ... until I came out and said it

Sorry you've all got your issues, but it's making me feel less of a loon knowing it's not just me

Oh, I am most def a loon. I drive the boys crazy unplugging things, switching things off, being hyper alert at sounds etc.

However, it doesn't restrict me as much as it does you, so please please do speak to someone.


In other news, new central heating system will be going in on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday next week....and going back to being a loon, I dare not turn the heaters they brought me on for more than a few minutes and only when I am in the room as they are fan heaters and I don't trust them :rotfl:

Thankfully, it is not quite as cold as it was at the beginning of the week.

bugslet

SingleSue wrote: »

However, it doesn't restrict me as much as it does you, so please please do speak to someone.

Thankfully, it is not quite as cold as it was at the beginning of the week.

As my phobia doesn't affect me much, I don't intend to deal with it, there isn't the motivation to do so, but as Sue says, when it restricts your life so much, then it's the best thing to do. You don't have to conquer it all at once, just those first steps will help enormously.

Glad to hear the heating is getting sorted out.