HELP!! Mortgage deposit, my husband has more!!

Georgiegirl256

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

The problem with questions like this is that the answer totally depends on the circumstances of the split and the length of the relationship.

They could split 10 years down the line due to his infidelity and I know I would go for jugular .....alternatively it might be due to the OP's infidelity and she decide that she wants out with just what is 'morally' right.

Alternatively they could split after 30 years and decide to split everything down the middle.

We might like to think we would act with morals but emotions do take over.

Which is probably the reason why he's wanting to safeguard the money.

To me, the silence off the OP speaks volumes. If she seriously wasn't bothered about the money then surely she would have answered as such?

Just my take on it.

gettingtheresometime

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one.

It would be interesting to know how the husband would have reacted if the roles were reversed.

peachyprice

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

Apologies if I am misreading the OP, but i believe I haven't read anywhere that the OPs husband has said he will own a greater percentage - rather that he would like to protect his 60k-100k desposit - in case they split.

The only way of guaranteeing that is by him owning a greater percentage of the house.

peachyprice

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

To me, a husband saying he owns more of the marital home than the wife could be seen as slightly braggy, potentially trying to belittle his wife, cause a feeling of one-up-man-ship, and maybe slightly passive aggressive. It could be seen as a bit of a warning sign to her of an unequal balance in an existing relationship - this does not seem to be going on here.

Why? I own more than my husband, neither of us have mentioned this since the day we signed the contracts at the solicitors 13 years ago.

Or is it because it's the man owning the greater share?

lika_86

peachyprice wrote: »

The only way of guaranteeing that is by him owning a greater percentage of the house.

My understanding is that i t isn't done by either 'owning a greater percentage', it's generally done by a deed of trust which says that the first [X] amount (in this case £60-100k) in equity is paid to the person who put it in if the house is sold, after that the equity will be split 50/50. So if the house increases in value, the amount they get out first usually is the amount they put in (not a percentage that increases if the value of the house does).

jenhug

lika_86 wrote: »

My understanding is that i t isn't done by either 'owning a greater percentage', it's generally done by a deed of trust which says that the first [X] amount (in this case £60-100k) in equity is paid to the person who put it in if the house is sold, after that the equity will be split 50/50. So if the house increases in value, the amount they get out first usually is the amount they put in (not a percentage that increases if the value of the house does).

The trouble with that is if they did divorce, and they had a sizeable mortgage, there would be a chance that after paying off the mortgage, he would be the only one to come out of it with any capital. I would recommend that OP and her OH take advice from an independent financial advisor and a solicitor before they commit to buy.

Homeownertobe

jenhug wrote: »

The trouble with that is if they did divorce, and they had a sizeable mortgage, there would be a chance that after paying off the mortgage, he would be the only one to come out of it with any capital. I would recommend that OP and her OH take advice from an independent financial advisor and a solicitor before they commit to buy.

Why is that a problem?

JIL

I would feel very hurt in your situation. I see our finances as just that, our finances. If I was to buy a lottery ticket and won, it would be our winnings. My parents are better financially than my husbands parents who also have eight children. If either of us do inherit anything it will go into our joint account.
If we do ever split up I would just look at halving our assets. I am not of the opinion that we will always be together, because no one knows what the future holds.
I would just hope that if we split we would both leave with equal shares. No matter where those finances came from.

jenhug

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Why is that a problem?

Because even if OP had been paying 50% of the mortgage and bills etc, she would walk away without a penny while her OH would walk away with potentially £100k

Homeownertobe

jenhug wrote: »

Because even if OP had been paying 50% of the mortgage and bills etc, she would walk away without a penny while her OH would walk away with potentially £100k

Technically she'd walk away with the other house that she owns. Notice the OP isn't so keen to explicitly share that with her husband.