HELP!! Mortgage deposit, my husband has more!!

FBaby

I am pretty certain that all assets of the marriage are considered 50/50 at a starting point in a divorce regardless of who put what in it.

Georgie in my situation I moved in the house my husband owned long before he met me. The mortgage was almost paid for. He has never mentioned anything about having the house back in case of divorce. What he says laughingly is that he wouldn't be able to afford to divorce me (on the basis that his view is that he could lose 50% of it at least in theory)!

similarly at some point I will inherit quite a lot from my parents. I have made it clear when we married that this will become the asset of the marriage. My parents are perfectly aware of this too.

I am not saying that this is how it has to be just that I don't understand the basis for getting married if this is not how you feel. I waited a long time to marry because it wasn't a risk I felt I was prepared to take with anyone else before and would have got married this time either if I hadn't felt different about my OH.

FBaby

Ultimately what is sad in OP situation is that her OH's view on this seems to have come out of the blue hence me asking how getting married came about.

Mojisola

Homeownertobe wrote: »

Technically she'd walk away with the other house that she owns. Notice the OP isn't so keen to explicitly share that with her husband.

I don't think she has another house - she was referring to a potential inheritance when her parents die.

dealer_wins

With the divorse rate at an all-time high, its wise to agree and formalise what happens to assets in the event of a split.

Trying to decide after a split happens will usually mean a bitter, family splitting war, with the solicitors getting the whole lot in fees, so its always best to agree things like this sooner rather than later.

IMO look at it as building the relationship, and everyone knows where they stand should it fail.

FBaby

Except that what you might agree to be reasonable when your in love might be very different to when you're at war. Add to this that circumstances might change significantly in the course of marriage once again it ultimately will come down to how good the lawyers are!

silvercar

We have been married 26 years, maybe that makes a difference. I recently inherited a large sum of money that will enable us to buy something significant that I think of as ours not mine.

Izadora

FBaby wrote: »

Except that what you might agree to be reasonable when your in love might be very different to when you're at war.

Of course it will be and, personally, I think that's exactly why it's a good time to agree how things should be divided if you were to split up. When you're in love and can talk about it calmly and rationally I think you're far more likely to come to a fair agreement than when one or both of you are hurting and out to get each other.

If circumstances change significantly, e.g. kids, then you re-evaluate but still at a time when you're more likely to be reasonable about demands.

Mojisola

Amara wrote: »

Surely we marry for love, not money

A marriage is a legal change of status and the laws relating to it are entirely to to with finances.

FBaby

I would find it odd to re-evaluate though my marriage what each should get if we divorced especially as it would be likely to be insisted from the one who had more to lose that especially as once again with good arguments all that was agreed could be dismantled during the divorce negotiations.

pickledonionspaceraider

I think this whole thread highlights how attitudes to marriage have changed over the years. Women now have more of their own finances and careers than they did years ago and are far more independent

Divorce rates are higher now - Many folk will not stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of appearances. move with the times or risk exposing yourselves.

Every individual marriage is different - and people saying a 'good' marriage should be this , or that, are purely speaking about what works for them. There is no one rule fits all for relationships and as long as both parties are happy, it really doesn't matter a jot what other people may or may not think as they are not living your life for you