The envy of people

shandyclover

Like someone else said, it's playing the long game.

Some of our friends were shocked when we took our 4 teens skiing last year. My hubby is just starting a business so there were comments of 'well, you must be doing alright then!'. They have no idea, right now it's all going out. Going skiing is something we had committed to doing the year before. Hubby spent 3 weeks online in his spare time researching the best deal. We bought ski clothes in Aldi, charity shops and factory shops during the summer, and pre booked the skis months before. Borrowed my brother's 7 seater, drove to France and self catered. We had 2 weeks skiing for less than the average cheap sun holiday, yet there were still comments when we got home, but basically the luxury of such an experience was made possible by our whole family not demanding instant gratification. The kids all agreed they would rather make the small sacrifices of not having the latest talked about phone/clothes/whatever and be able to have experiences.

tessie_bear

what an interesting thread....my dh and i have to put it bluntly pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps...both of us dragged up by useless parents and never been offered a helping hand...we have saved and scrimped for 17 years and have paid off a morgage on quite a nice house...own a nice car and pay cash for everything

people think they know you and think they can pass comment...they know at best very little and proberly nowt...ignore people and paddle your own canie proudlly

cranky i was very moved by your post and wish you and your house elf all the best

tessa

meritaten

vouchersrme wrote: »

I think it is the politics of envy, where those who cannot be bothered to watch the pennies, get miffed at those whose success comes from hard work and economical living.

^^^^^^exactly! and those who feel 'hard done by' because however much they have - they don't like others 'having' too.

when we first got married my OH was a miner - we went through two miners strikes and boy has it been hard coming back from that. we virtually lost everything. house, car,
even my jewellery was sold to pay for food on the table.

BECAUSE we are careful and don't splash out on expensive holidays etc (though I am addicted to nicotine) - thirty years on we finally treated ourselves to our FIRST brand new car (OH was so excited - he was like a kid on Christmas morning). we have just a few years to go on the mortgage................and tbh - I couldn't care less what other people may think. I KNOW we have both worked hard and gone without a lot so our kids didn't and after all these years - yes we can treat ourselves!

Anne_Marie_2

I've had the envy too. Was working in a difficult job, had a day off with a "friend " shopping. Saw the most beautiful dress in a shop window. Who but a fool would buy that, she said...still fits me now, 20 years on. The friend has been ditched, not because of the dress, but because she told lies. The dress is still good.

Dozey_crow

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

it's probably because those other people worked equally hard, were equally economical but they just didn't get the breaks.

We tell ourselves that we became wealthy because of our actions, because we were special but most of the time it was because we were lucky enough to have the opportunities denied to most.

I know that there are people like this who do try and never seen to catch a break. In fact I work with people who work but are below the poverty line and people who for whatever reason are on welfare benefits and nor that they seem to be crashed back every time they get ahead. By which I mean they report a change of wage to hmrc in order to correct the WTC as they are obligated to do but then the WTC department messes up resulting in an overpayment that the person has deducted from their wages. It does happen and it is awful.

Yet to be honest these people are not the ones who are snidey.. They tend to just get on with it and in my experience are very proud, private people. My colleague is the type is person the op means. She earns the same as us. She spends £5\6 pe rday on lunch and has takeaways most nights. Spends like mad in the 10 days or so after payday.. Clothes, makeup etc.. Eating is a big thing. But then 10/14 days after payday it's all gone... The bills have gone out which weren't budgeted for, back in the overdraft etc etc. Then if we suggest going out for a team meal is "I can't afford it I have bills to pay" :rotfl:.. The thing is then she is borrowing money to get lunch out even then. Then she is like the green eyed monster for the rest of the month - lots of "poor me.... It's all right for you lot" etc.

She cannot/will not see that we all bring in sandwiches every day and save for things (my colleague saved for a car and paid cash for it.. Said colleague is spoilt and conceited apparently!). Refuses to see that budgeting is a good idea and is in a deluded state.

As I say we are all on the same wage and in circumstances that make outgoing average so I disagree that she has not 'caught a break,' and think it is more that she refuses to help herself but will moan on until the end of the earth and look to disparage others who manage things differently.

Caterina

Post deleted, please see first post. Thank you.

ash28

Quizzical_Squirrel wrote: »

it's probably because those other people worked equally hard, were equally economical but they just didn't get the breaks.

We tell ourselves that we became wealthy because of our actions, because we were special but most of the time it was because we were lucky enough to have the opportunities denied to most.

However sometimes some people are just more savvy......for instance my sister's husband was a fireman and they knew that if he was still an active fireman he would have to retire at 52. In the event of that happening they decided to pay off their mortgage before he was 52 and as it happened he did have to retire at 52.

Most of his friends from the fire service retiring under similar conditions still had mortgages and needed to find another job. My brother in law didn't need another job because their biggest expense had gone.

That was a choice open to all of his friends which most chose not to make. And some of them moan like mad because they are still working 8 years on.

maman

I haven't read all the responses but in my experience most people who use the 'you're lucky' comment are really covering up for the fact that you've been sensible and they haven't!


I had that comment many years ago from one of my SILs and DH and I still laugh about it.


What she really meant (but couldn't admit it) was we'd chosen to 'cut our coat according to cloth' in that we've made choices that allow us to live very comfortably. This meant limiting ourselves to two children who we could then treat handsomely. She, on the other hand, chose to have four children and they had to scrimp. Her choice: but hardly 'lucky' on our part. Just sensible budgeting.

Nargleblast

Caterina you are a grown adult in charge of your own destiny. You do not have to explain or justify anything to anyone. The next snide comment you hear, remind yourself that you know the truth and that is what matters. You and your OH are set fair for a good life in your remaining years on this earth, and you know you are worth it.

honeythewitch

maman wrote: »

I haven't read all the responses but in my experience most people who use the 'you're lucky' comment are really covering up for the fact that you've been sensible and they haven't!


I had that comment many years ago from one of my SILs and DH and I still laugh about it.


What she really meant (but couldn't admit it) was we'd chosen to 'cut our coat according to cloth' in that we've made choices that allow us to live very comfortably. This meant limiting ourselves to two children who we could then treat handsomely. She, on the other hand, chose to have four children and they had to scrimp. Her choice: but hardly 'lucky' on our part. Just sensible budgeting.

But there is an element of good fortune involved. You can plan and be careful but you are jolly lucky if you get to carry out your plans without illness, misery, or death putting a stop to it.