The envy of people

thriftwizard

A wry smile of recognition from me! Half our little town think we're loaded, as we own our "big" house outright (now - after 28 years of scrimping) and can put food on the table, pay our bills & help the kids out in little ways from time to time. However, the other half think we're terribly poor, as we don't have wall-to-wall carpet (horrible stuff!) or a 48" TV with all satellite channels or iPhones all round, and my heating won't go on until mid-October & goes off mid-April or earlier... My family think we're the poor relations, as most of them live in Home Counties des-reses, drive this year's BMW, think Prosecco's very common & holiday twice a year in the remoter corners of Cambodia or Patagonia. And moan about how to pay off the cards, worry about the mortgage rate, etc. etc...

I laugh at it all & think I'm really lucky to be able to run my own little business doing something I love, which brings in enough to cover the extras like the odd week camping in France and doesn't take up all my time in the way commuting to a paid job would do, although that'd earn me a lot more. OH loves his job & it brings in enough; sometimes it's not easy, and there are lots of things I'd love to be able to afford (a new T2 VW camper, for example) or to do (Patagonia does look interesting) but we get by and we have a laugh, and the kids still want to know us & ask our advice, which makes me happier than all the money in the bank. So, more power to your elbow, Caterina - just smile graciously and ignore 'em, they've made their beds & will have to lie on them; you've made yours differently & can relax!.

honeythewitch

As long as you are careful to not criticise or judge others for making different choices to you, you can cheerfully ignore them!

luxor4t

DH has family members who are envious.


Most of our 'luck' was down to choice - choosing to work longer and harder at school. Choosing not to smoke or gamble, choosing to put that money into a mortgage, choosing to live on a tight budget etc etc. Choosing to play the long game instead of choosing instant gratification.


Our choices mean we are debt and mortgage free. It is very hard to deal with somebody who expects to have exactly the same, but didn't do anything to make it happen.

alice_kate_2

Hi Cat

I think people of all ages/walks of life are going to be envious!

My OH and I have noticed that recently some of our friends have stopped talking to us, inviting us out etc. The only thing that has changed is that we got engaged, bought a house and a new car. As people we are the same. Instead of congratulations we get ignored or even mocked - people saying things like why at such a young age (we're both 23) would you commit to a house or get engaged! Funnily enough none of the so called friends are in stable relationships or can afford to buy a house. We are not rich by any means and have received NO help from family yet people assume parents must have paid for stuff. We just work hard and save our money instead of going out getting drunk every weekend!

At first it used to get to me but now I am just proud of what I've acheived and if they don't like it that is their problem.

Well done on being mortgage free, it sounds like you deserve to relax and not let people get to you!

zaxdog

I agree with lots of this but some I find downright sanctimonious :mad:

My OH and I work very hard and manage our money very well in my opinion BUT we like drink once a week and (shock horror) have Sky TV :eek:

It does sometimes feel like unless a forum member is huddled round a candle wringing out a teabag for it's millionth cup of tea they are less worthy than those who do :rotfl:

Caterina

Post deleted, please see first post. Thank you.

zaxdog

Wasn't an attack at you Cat just an observation about the holier than thou attitude of some on this forum :beer:

lobbyludd

Other people's opinions are none of my business. and that's the end of that really. Only you know the balance of your good and bad fortune, but that is in many ways subjective. Similarly you don't know the balance of other people's good and bad fortune.

People can think you are lucky to be where you are, or envy your situation, and STILL love and value you. If it's getting you down, let them know - but - and this is just something to think about - are you, somewhere deep, feeling you don't deserve this change in fortunes? perhaps because it's not what you are used to, this may be contributing to how sensitive you are to these comments?

PlutoinCapricorn

Ignoring spiteful digs is sometimes effective, but sometimes it makes people do it all the more. Envy is one of the seven deadly sins!

Caterina

Post deleted, please see first post. Thank you.