Changing for good...a new start!

Baldybear

Good morning

So another NSD yesterday and today, nothing needed freezer still rammed and making good use of my open fire so not using much heating

Spendy day tomorrow, going Xmas shopping with mum, only got a few people to buy for and got a budget so should come well under. Also need to get some fresh foodie bits, have £10 voucher so will help bring it down, new month, new budget so aim to be under

Baldybear

Bah its monday and I have a cold :mad: Shorter day due to another drs apptmt, slowly getting to the bottom of my problems.

So the good and the bad of the weekend, lets start with the bad

Friday night bought hossie in with colic, so a vet call out, she is fine now, but did same thing roughly around last year so taken some bloods to analyse just in case. So the downside prob a £200 + vet bill So double hoping for an xmas bonus now to pay this. Hope to have some leftover for car but watch this space. Now just got to wait for the vet bill to arrive.

Good ok - went Xmas shopping - few presents bought all good price and under budget so far Sunday did some surveys - slowly building up there, listed some new ebay items - some with bids on already. Also sorted out my ebay stash and have a massive pile for cash for clothes so will take in next few days, few bits for charity shop and 3 odd bags of random rubbish so looks a lot better

One small ebay sale yesterday and a small amount of survey money received - sent to Sains CC so now at £81

Upsidedown_Bear

Do you not have your horse insured?

Hope your cold goes soon

Baldybear

Nope no insurance, had bad experience in past with insurance. Old hossie wasnt insured had a freak accident on his leg, £2.5k vet bill (including a 9 days hospital stay) which I paid, no further difficulty from leg was fit and healthy on leg for years after, went to get insured and no insurer would cover leg, would have cost £20 a month and knowing law of sod any major problem would have been that leg and would have had to pay out anyway, sigh.

I have membership with BHS which covers me for public liability in case of accident on road but rest I have to suck up unfortunately. Just not worth the cost.

One day will have savings to cover these unfortunate incidents, am working on this

DebtFree2012

I hope she is doing ok - frightening for you.

Shovel_Lad

I've just been catching up with your diary.

I think you have some hard choices to make about your house/money/horse etc.

You say your mum is subsiding you by £300 a month.
You also said that you would be extremely rich if you didn't have your horse.
Maybe this was tongue in cheek because from your SOA this is not correct. £182 livery + £90 food/bedding + £50 trainer is £322 which is almost exactly what your mum is giving you each month. She is effectively paying for your horse. That is obviously ignoring any vets bills etc which you have to pay as you won't take out insurance.
How long are you expecting your parents to keep giving you this money?

You simply cannot afford to live the life you want living where you do with a car and horse. The figures do not add up even ignoring any money for savings/once a year insurances and so on.

The house is still jointly owned with your ex. I would imagine now he is married he will be wanting his name off the mortgage or the house sold. I know your parents gave him £5000 but that's not a long term soluation for either of you is it?

Even if you were debt free I don't see how you can afford to buy your ex out of the house. You say yourself your plans to save up enough to buy him out are "madness".

I know you don't want to hear this but I hope you will listen and then make the decisions that need making.

Baldybear

Shovel_Lad wrote: »

I've just been catching up with your diary.

I think you have some hard choices to make about your house/money/horse etc.

You say your mum is subsiding you by £300 a month.
You also said that you would be extremely rich if you didn't have your horse.
Maybe this was tongue in cheek because from your SOA this is not correct. £182 livery + £90 food/bedding + £50 trainer is £322 which is almost exactly what your mum is giving you each month. She is effectively paying for your horse. That is obviously ignoring any vets bills etc which you have to pay as you won't take out insurance.
How long are you expecting your parents to keep giving you this money?

You simply cannot afford to live the life you want living where you do with a car and horse. The figures do not add up even ignoring any money for savings/once a year insurances and so on.

The house is still jointly owned with your ex. I would imagine now he is married he will be wanting his name off the mortgage or the house sold. I know your parents gave him £5000 but that's not a long term soluation for either of you is it?

Even if you were debt free I don't see how you can afford to buy your ex out of the house. You say yourself your plans to save up enough to buy him out are "madness".

I know you don't want to hear this but I hope you will listen and then make the decisions that need making.

Thanks for your reply, I do think about my situation all the time its never ever ending and always spinning round in my head. The honest answers is I dont know Unfortunately I wont give up the horse, she would be the last one to go. Am lucky though at the moment parents are happy and can afford to keep paying my shortfall. I dont think they want me to move either as literally round the corner. They also realise how important horse is to me. I dont do anything else, I dont drink, smoke, rarely go out socialising so my horse is everything, she is my baby

If I can get a lodger in the new year I could make up the shortfall and also be leftover with £100ish each month so could put this straight towards the savings.

My ex really didnt help we were living in house and both paying equal share and then in June he left to move in with new OH (very quickly she moved her ex out a few days before :cool:) and stopped paying the bills. In theory he is liable for half the mortgage but he hasnt paid and wont pay. We have drawn up agreement and signed this to say he isnt entitled to any extra after date he has moved out, this includes mortgage reduction and any increase in the value of the house. He really did not do things right but hey ho glad he is an ex and am hopefully making the best out of a bad situation.

Re my ex, he is living with his new wife in her house. I think they do want to get a bigger place but not so easy for them either. It is joint owned by her ex hubby and part of her divorce settlement entitles her ex to a portion of the house either a) when kids are 18 or b) if they move. So if they do decide to move they need to take into account of the figure to give to her ex to see if worth it financially. My ex is only entitled to a certain amount out of this house which is his contribution and the house value rise since he was here and I dont think that figure is enough to make up any shortfall of her money she has to pay to her ex. My ex also has shed loads of debt, he had £15k when he left here in June so mortgage co wouldnt take him on with that either. From updates on fb etc he is still spending money like water, idiot but he will never change :cool:

So taking into account the above I dont think ex and his new wife will be moving anytime soon so gives me more time to sort myself out.

If I sold now I couldnt afford to buy anything in my area, even with a big chunk of deposit, would have to move further out but increasing costs of commuting, hoss etc. Its all a bit of a viscous circle there.

I think I still need to clear my debts whatever happens, need to be in a better position so will continue to get those cleared and then have to re-assess my situation.

If I can get a lodger I wont have to rely on parents, will be able to get some savings behind me and hopefully clear the debts faster and then maybe reach my impossible goals.

I do work hard and try to do all extra things to make myself debt free, ebay, surveys, limiting shopping, heating etc, frugal cooking, any ways to make extra money so giving it all I can.

As I have stated maybe these goals are unachievable but am living day to day and you never know what might happen

Baldybear

Good morning

So another health check ticked of list, slowly improving there, lots to think about but least its nice to finally be taken seriously

Small ebay sale yesterday so another £1.73 to the Sains CC One ebay buyer hasnt got their item, was posted and not returned, they have bought others since and been sent ok so maybe parcel lost somewhere. All done by messaging at the moment, hope they dont raise case against me otherwise assume have to refund. Ebay is great when it brings in the pennies but so frustrating when things go wrong Fingers crossed it works ok.

Small spends today, bread for lunch and need to get voucher for parents (but already paid for).

Has been really cold recently, been good at home though, have used the heating but max 1hr at night on some nights, have been using open fire to a big extent and lots of extra blankets on the duvet will hopefully mean I can really hammer my bills down this winter

Baldybear

Good afternoon, another day nearly over

£3 received from another survey site so another small payment to the CC, small signature update as well Nothing else exciting, yawn! Dinner out from freezer, lunch brought in. Ebay buyer has gone quiet so fingers crossed there and a few more extra bids on items listed for sale.

Possibly be getting back with ex (recent one) hopefully he will come over this weekend and we can have a chat, just need to make sure we are on the same wave length with future otherwise wont bother, watch this space. Am still friends so best to either be full on future with plans together or just leave as friends before things get difficult. Know what I want and I have a rough idea what he would like so will see if they match. Not going to try and let myself get wound up either way, what will be will be blah blah :cool:

A thrilling evening tonight of making up haynets for the hoss, do a weeks worth as cannot be bothered doing everyday) and then coming back and trying to watch some of my 3 million hours of recording on my box at home, note to self stop being so interested in everything, you will never watch it all in 2 lifetimes )

Baldybear

Good morning

So back with OH for now, taking it slow. Still want to achieve my impossible goals but trying not to stress over things, just doing what I can. Watch this space as they say.

Ex came round at the weekend and took more stuff, slowly getting rid of his bits, still a massive loft full but hey its a start Slowly slowly!

Did a few surveys, some ebay, spent a few pennies but all in budget. Got some more xmas presents, still a few more to get but got rough ideas and still got some budget so thats always a good thing

Few more ebay sales over the weekend and some quidco money has landed, sent straight to Sains CC, now at £22 So it will be paid of by Xmas and hopefully will be able to start sending payments to Bcard before then too, fingers crossed but am within target. So will use Sains CC but pay of in full (use budget money) so can make most of nectar points, make it work for me

15 NSD achieved in November so pleased with that too. Small signature update too as keeps me motivated.

At weekend was very energetic and took advantage of dry weather and cleared all leaves from front and back garden and did some weeding too.

Have previously stripped half of wallpaper in hallway to get some boxing in done, so over the weekend have nearly finished the rest of the job, just that annoying bit at the top of the stairs to do which I need a long ladder for. It has shown some bits which need re-plastering, that is fine as knew needed to get a few bits done, but means I can get whole lot done in one swoop and then get some painting done. Will have to save up for plasterer so thats another little side hustle to do :cool: but hey will do it somehow. Need new carpet too but may have to wait for that one, but at least hopefully another room ticked of the list, just the rest of the house bar my bedroom to do then, could be here a while :cool: