Changing for good...a new start!

Baldybear

Shovel_Lad wrote: »

You may not find it very nice but it is a statement of fact. I would say exactly the same if you smoked 25 cigarettes a day, gambled all your spare money or spent it on a luxury car and then posted that you were "poor".

You took on your horse when you were living with your then fiance. You weren't alone then.

I find it dishonest that you identify yourself as poor when you have a lifestyle many people can only dream of (your own home, car and horse), supportive parents who gave you a huge deposit towards your house, money to fund the extention you say you can't afford (where did the money go?) and are supporting you financially every month to the tune of several hundred pounds.

By all means say you have no money left because of your lifestyle but that is a choice you make.
You could make other choices, many people here can't.

I dont think I am dishonest, I work hard to have my lifestyle, am lucky that my parents were able to give me a deposit for my house. They havent given me any more for an extension, that is something I would like to do but thats another goal for another day. The money that we had put aside when we first bought the house for the extension has gone on works to the house, we have replaced all windows and doors, had plasterer in and new carpets for the one room that I have redecorated and completely replaced rear garden fence. It has also paid the fees for the planning permission for the extension I do hope to get one day. Not one penny has been squandered.

I am lucky that my parents are financially able to help me (I am sure I am not the only one in this position). They have worked hard their life and want to help me, its their choice and for that I am grateful. I am glad I have a fantastic relationship with them, but also in turn I help them out all the time, my dad doesnt drive now but he goes to a choir each week, my mum takes him but rather then her having to pick him up and do a journey in the dark in the winter I take 5 mins out of work every week to pick him up then he sits in my car in the carpark for 1/2 hr whilst I finish work to take him home. It doesnt seem a lot and there are lots of other little things, but its these little things that I can pay back in kind for my parents.

I agree that I am lucky that I can make other choices many people here cant, but to be honest its a matter of perspective. So many people have different situations and different lifestyles, its not fair to put everyone in the same boat. Just because I say I am poor its poor to me and that feels bad, its a struggle whatever position you may be in.

Again I stress I work hard to be where I am, maybe I am not so lucky in other respects, I am going to be 37 this year, no OH, no children and probably at this age no hope of ever having children, so in some respects I am very unlucky

mfmaybe

Baldybear, I've just typed a ranty response to your adversary, and then realised that you handled your reply eloquently and with dignity. You didn't need me coming in and feeding the troll

Your last comment made me sad though. You will know from my thread that it's something close to my heart, and I know that fear, albeit from a different angle. It's not too late though, not by a long shot, and if you want to talk about it, drop me a PM as I have some (too much) experience in this field.

DebtFree2012

Ditto.
I have a lot I want to say but do you know what, it's not worth it.

BB - This is your diary where you can put your thoughts, feelings, opinions and can just as easily choose to ignore people who are out to bring you down when you express yourself. Some people thrive off being nasty to others and this isn't the first time that person has done this to you.

When someone is down, they need help to be picked back up, not to be kicked in the ribs. So there are more of us offering you a hoof to get back up than there are a judgemental foot to stay down.

Deep breath and carry on.

Baldybear

Good morning

Thanks peeps for dropping by, I agree its not worth saying more, I posted a thread on the main board about being poor and the replies were really insightful

Mfmaybe thanks for your offer of a pm re kids, who knows one day, I cant dwell on it, its not a be all and end all for me but I would like it, need to find a man first though! At the end of the day I have my nephew who is coming up 5 this year and I could see him everyday if I wanted so I do get my fix. I am so pleased things are going well for you in that department

Yesterday was not a good day ended up having a row with yard owner, he is a grumpy moo but made up, just over something silly really, sigh.

On the upside the 2 events motivated me to do something positive about my situation so sat down and took advantage of free listings on ebay, relisted all old bits, added some new, will do some more tonight. No bids yet but at least a few more bits of the list

I know I still have a long way to go but I have also come a long way too

Baldybear

Good morning

So good news....checked credit report mortgage now at £148,171

So now the bad/depressing news

Car MOTed and serviced, that went ok but unfortunately was due a big brake service so cost me £461 :eek: I had £305 budgeted so now my savings target is short of £156 so all other targets are on hold until we recover that money. Good news is that I should in theory be able to cover this expense with the money from saving of council tax and water bill in March, may need to add a few pennies but should cover most of it Will put target at bottom of each diary entry so know how I am getting on.

So when the car was in for a service it was advised I need the cam belt changed as it was 5 years old, checked with main dealer and where I take the car (VW Specialist) is cheapest so I ideally need to get that done this year, cost £589 :eek: I am thinking maybe to see if I can book that in in September so another target to add to the list

Its all about money going out, so much for debt reduction.

The cashback has tracked on my car insurance so thats great, I have already counted in on insurance target but least it means I dont have to find another few pennies

Due to the above car bits and a crappy day all round yesterday (spent £3 on chocolate) I now only have £5 to spend at the weekend and £6 in my bank account :cool:

I am thinking of transferring some of my savings over say £20 so I can take at weekend (hopeful to not use any) and see if I can then make up shortfall next month. In theory this is possible as I have lots of hoss food so that budget shouldnt be needed. Watch this space.

Things can only get better hey :cool:

Target 1 - Insurance Savings overspend £156

Target 2 - Cambelt servicing £589

Chrysalis1976

Well done for showing that we can't compare our lives, one person's view of necessary to unnecessary is completely irrelevant so my kids should miss out on swimming lessons, guitar and climbing because of my mistakes? Nope but I sacrifice in other areas of our life.

Well done on all your debt busting and savings, hope you manage to scrape together enough for the car.

C x

Baldybear

Good morning, tfi Friday

Thanks Chrysalis for dropping by, nice to know its not just me about comparing peoples lives

I have transferred £20 from my holiday fund to account and will use this for weekends spending, gives me £25, hopefully wont need half of that but useful to have just in case.

No extra money in or out for targets. Slowly building up on survey sites so hopefully get some payouts soon. Also got a couple of bids on ebay, ending sunday so another few pennies to add to the pots

Target 1 - Insurance Savings overspend £156

Target 2 - Cambelt servicing £589

Baldybear

Good afternoon

Its over half a day gone on monday which is always good!

So weekend was good, out on saturday for the day out, I bought lunch £15 and some doughnuts £5 so spent my £20 Friend paid for fuel (his car), paid for the tickets for the day out and bought dinner so evens out. So I came back from the weekend with £5 in my purse Will save this towards farrier due later in the month, have budgeted but will save me £5 in my bank account.

Spendy day again yesterday, bought food shopping paid on CC, will pay of on payday tuesday, also bought few odds like de-icer and screen wash, all budgeted for Will get lots of nectar points in account. Used my £12 of £60 spend and £15 gift voucher so shopping was greatly reduced

No more extra pennies in etc to make up the targets yet but I have redeemed some money from survey sites, now just waiting to land. Ebay sales have a few bids, some ending tonight, will try and do a few more bits later.

My oven door handle has fallen off, bah, tried to stick back on twice and it wont go now, it makes opening the oven very annoying so have to search for a replacement.

Target 1 - Insurance Savings overspend £156

Target 2 - Cambelt servicing £589

Baldybear

Good morning

A few ebay sales last night, some have paid withdrawn £7 so my insurance overspend target is off the mark. Still waiting for a few more payers so another few more pennies to land.

Pay day today, new budget set up, in theory should reduce overdraft by about £90 this month, watch this space as never know what might happen. Credit card spends from the weekend paid of and budget updated

After spendy weekend back to not spending for a few days no real need. Sunday I have hoss trainer but already paid for last month.

Target 1 - Insurance Savings overspend £156 - £7 - off the mark

Target 2 - Cambelt servicing £589

Baldybear

Good morning

Another ebayer has paid so another few pounds sent to target 1 insurance, still awaiting payment for one more item.

Sister's birthday end march, she knows I am skinto so doesnt expect a lot, had a few cd's/dvs's she wanted, I have picked 2 and managed to pay for both of them using amazon vouchers I have earnt previously Am hopefully due a few more amazon vouchers soon and these can be used to pay for my nephews birthday which is beginning of April. Am pleased I dont have to fork out any "extras" as I dont have the money/budget for presents at the moment.

Bcard min payment gone out so now £5087, another £117 knocked of the debt

Target 1 - Insurance Savings overspend £156 - £10.68

Target 2 - Cambelt servicing £589