family church wont marry me, it only serves students

missbiggles1

avogadro wrote: »

Yes, I agree. Non-religious people will understandably see the church as just a building, but it is important to her to get married in this particular church because it has significance for her and her family. If she pursues it and it still isn't possible, then she will have to accept that but the original question was what steps could she take right now to try and get them to make an exception.

I think it's the other way round, people can't understand why she doesn't want to get married in the church where she worships regularly and to whose community she belongs.

Brighton_belle

avogadro wrote: »

Yes, I agree. Non-religious people will understandably see the church as just a building, but it is important to her to get married in this particular church because it has significance for her and her family. If she pursues it and it still isn't possible, then she will have to accept that but the original question was what steps could she take right now to try and get them to make an exception.

"non religious people" are not one homogenous group who all think and feel the same: there are rubbish shallow and mean spirited religious types as well as fabulous ones: ditto non religious, as well as "non religious types" who are quite able to understand the significance of the building and the sentimental attachment - because it is sentimental attachment (and nothing wrong with that) not godly attachment - God is in every church and any where, where "two or 3 are gathered in my name" etc etc.


I dare to add there will be some religious types on this forum who will think it peculiar that someone might be fixated on a building rather than the joy of being married in the church were they attend every week and are part of the community there.


I hope the Op does find a way to marry somewhere that feels very important to her. And if she can't, can find another way to have a special and happy wedding day.

System

Brighton_belle wrote: »

"non religious people" are not one homogenous group who all think and feel the same: there are rubbish shallow and mean spirited religious types as well as fabulous ones: ditto non religious, as well as "non religious types" who are quite able to understand the significance of the building and the sentimental attachment - because it is sentimental attachment (and nothing wrong with that) not godly attachment - God is in every church and any where, where "two or 3 are gathered in my name" etc etc.


I dare to add there will be some religious types on this forum who will think it peculiar that someone might be fixated on a building rather than the joy of being married in the church were they attend every week and are part of the community there.

I was not intending to typecast anyone. Perhaps I should have put 'may' and not 'will'

But the question, as I understood it, was more concerning the practicalities than coveting people's opinions as to how valid her preference for a particular church is.

Brighton_belle

avogadro wrote: »

I was not intending to typecast anyone. Perhaps I should have put 'may' and not 'will'

But the question, as I understood it, was more concerning the practicalities than coveting people's opinions as to how valid her preference for a particular church is.

Ok, thanks for the clarification. I do think attachment to venue does apply cross the board though - many people get their heart set on marrying in a particular place. I went to a lovely outside venue wedding (in February, lol) that was in the middle of nowhere but had huge significance for my friend. We as humans can all feel these strong feelings.

Gloomendoom

Person_one wrote: »

Manchester Cathedral performs marriages too. Even though I can see it from my living room window and can hear the bells on a Sunday morning, I wouldn't be eligible to get married there if I wanted to because I live just outside the borders of its parish.

You would if, as in the OP's case, your parents had got married there.

squashy

Could you enquire via the Diocese of Salford? Another suggestion- if paperwork is the issue, marry elsewhere and ask your preferred church for a blessing ceremony?

Mojisola

squashy wrote: »

Another suggestion- if paperwork is the issue, marry elsewhere and ask your preferred church for a blessing ceremony?

It isn't a public church - it's a Chaplaincy to Manchester Metropolitan University, Royal Northern College of Music and The University of Manchester.

Armorica

SavingPennies wrote: »

I don't think they do short evening courses, I'd expect it would have to be a degree, which would cost thousands. Then again you could progress your career and marriage at the same time!

No - one of the links I posted was for language courses in the evening and well under a thousand.

Lara44

I had my wedding reception at the local university, and we held a blessing service in the chapel which we counted as our wedding. (The legal bit was also very nice and was done a few hours earlier at the local registry office with just close family in attendance). The university chaplain was a wonderful lady who let us hold the blessing there with our own Rev. We gifted a sum of money to her afterwards for all the hassle. Is this a work-around perhaps? We had a brilliant day. All our out of town friends and family stayed over at the halls of residence on campus too, which was handy and good value

peachyprice

Person_one wrote: »

this is a church that is owned, funded and run by a university for the benefit of its staff and students, its not totally shocking that they're the only ones eligible to get married there.

This.

Most people are missing this point entirely. The building is no longer owned by the catholic church, it is owned by and run by the uni chaplaincy, no amount of approaching the diocese/own priest etc., is going to make a jot of difference, that would be like approaching a catholic priest to help you get married in a CofE church or a civil venue.

avogadro wrote: »

Yes, I agree. Non-religious people will understandably see the church as just a building, but it is important to her to get married in this particular church because it has significance for her and her family. If she pursues it and it still isn't possible, then she will have to accept that but the original question was what steps could she take right now to try and get them to make an exception.

They don't have to make an exception, they are to all intents and purpose a 'private' church that don't want to offer their services to the general public.