family church wont marry me, it only serves students

cazziebo

Your parish priest is the first port of call. They will be able to give you some insight into how possible it is, and what the process is.

It's likely these are university rules, rather than the Catholic Church. However, the diocese will have a lot of clout if there's to be an exception.

The chapel of the university I attended has a similar rule.

Person_one

So clearly, this isn't actually your family church. What's actually happened is that the building where your parents married is no longer available as an option for your wedding. That happens all the time, buildings close, get knocked down, change hands, change purpose etc. That's life I'm afraid, you can't always have what you want just because you want it!

I've no idea why anyone would want to get married there anyway, loads of students milling about all the time and the busiest bus corridor in Europe about 6 foot from the church doors!

another

Thankyou for your many comments i didn't go there anymore because the church was closed for many years and my mother found a different church after my grandmother died. i now attend a church in chester with my fience, i still live in manchester. For some reason i feel closer to my grandmother and grandfather in the church in manchester. Maybe its because my grandmother used to take me there.

suejb2

If this church had changed into a restaurant, as is often the case.will you still be wanting to get married there? It changed 30+ years ago I can't see that just because it has some family connection you can over rule the criteria.

Person_one

another wrote: »

Thankyou for your many comments i didn't go there anymore because the church was closed for many years and my mother found a different church after my grandmother died. i now attend a church in chester with my fience, i still live in manchester. For some reason i feel closer to my grandmother and grandfather in the church in manchester. Maybe its because my grandmother used to take me there.

You live in Manchester and go to Chester every Sunday for church?
If that's the case, you must feel quite a strong connection and commitment to that church, is it the one your fianc! has grown up in? Have you ruled out getting married the church you actually attend?

duchy

Why on earth are people so nasty ?

It's a building that is registered to perform marriages - and the OP would like to try and find a way to marry there . So what if she doesn't attend services there, the same could be said of many brides who choose a church based on far less relevant reasons than family tradition ......like "it'd look nice in the photos" or "I saw <celebrity>'s wedding here in Hello" or just "it'll look good in the photos". At least the OP *is* a church goer and not a hypocrite !!

Leave the poor girl alone

theoretica

It might be worth also discussing if a special licence would help:
http://www.facultyoffice.org.uk/special-licences/obtaining-a-special-marriage-licence/

Mojisola

Perhaps the title "family church wont marry me" was misleading. It's not the OP's family church and her family hasn't had any connection with it for a very long time.

She asked if she could get married there and they said it's only for students of the uni so why not look elsewhere instead getting cross about it?

Person_one

duchy wrote: »

Why on earth are people so nasty ?

It's a building that is registered to perform marriages - and the OP would like to try and find a way to marry there . So what if she doesn't attend services there, the same could be said of many brides who choose a church based on far less relevant reasons than family tradition ......like "it'd look nice in the photos" or "I saw <celebrity>'s wedding here in Hello" or just "it'll look good in the photos". At least the OP *is* a church goer and not a hypocrite !!

Leave the poor girl alone

Manchester Cathedral performs marriages too. Even though I can see it from my living room window and can hear the bells on a Sunday morning, I wouldn't be eligible to get married there if I wanted to because I live just outside the borders of its parish.

Lots of churches have restrictions on who can get married there, this is a church that is owned, funded and run by a university for the benefit of its staff and students, its not totally shocking that they're the only ones eligible to get married there.

System

duchy wrote: »

Why on earth are people so nasty ?

It's a building that is registered to perform marriages - and the OP would like to try and find a way to marry there . So what if she doesn't attend services there, the same could be said of many brides who choose a church based on far less relevant reasons than family tradition ......like "it'd look nice in the photos" or "I saw <celebrity>'s wedding here in Hello" or just "it'll look good in the photos". At least the OP *is* a church goer and not a hypocrite !!

Leave the poor girl alone

Yes, I agree. Non-religious people will understandably see the church as just a building, but it is important to her to get married in this particular church because it has significance for her and her family. If she pursues it and it still isn't possible, then she will have to accept that but the original question was what steps could she take right now to try and get them to make an exception.