Elderly relative

Errata

I will contact SS again and ask for a mental assessment, it's no good the manager of the home saying he is fully capable, it must be done properly. : (

In your shoes I would TELL SS I strongly believe he doesn't have capacity and is at high risk of harming himself and DEMAND a capacity assessment is immediately carried out by someone medically qualified to do it.

troubleinparadise

Refusing care or not looking after yourself as is judged "normal" does not mean that a person lacks capacity.

Hopalong1:

"He admitted in hospital that he was ashamed he had let it all go, couldn't clean, etc. but now realises he needs help."

That sounds like a person who has capacity to understand and reason, but has become disorganised - somewhat different to lacking capacity.

Slinky

My father's home was a similar but there was no way he lacked mental capacity, things had just been let go over the years and he learned to live around the problems.

z.n

Capacity can come and go when someone is ill. When doing the POA you get capacity checked (by solicitor and doctor in MinL case-we had to wait for her health to improve and then got in there quick in case she deteriorated again) and sign the POA there and then. The key is that they understand and can sign a POA which may or may not actually be activated in the future.

I would try to get the POA sorted asap (ie all done and dusted in this period of relative improvement) and see how things go with the two care visits once he is home. It may work out or it might not- you just won't know until he tries it.

Just because someone has let their house go does not mean they lack mental capacity- they might just be physically overwhelmed. Similarly, if someone is ill they might lose track of their medication. The key is whether they have capacity at the moment they sign the document.

I think you are right to have deep concerns about the IFA. Sounds very odd for him to have a view on A's ability to remain at home. Get as much information and paperwork as you can and go through with a fine tooth comb. It does sound as if A has been too trusting and I hope this has not been taken advantage of.

Hopalong1

Errata wrote: »

In your shoes I would TELL SS I strongly believe he doesn't have capacity and is at high risk of harming himself and DEMAND a capacity assessment is immediately carried out by someone medically qualified to do it.

Hello Errata


I think you have a good point here, we really need to make sure he is ok, before going anywhere. Otherwise I don't know where it will lead to.....

Hopalong1

troubleinparadise wrote: »

Refusing care or not looking after yourself as is judged "normal" does not mean that a person lacks capacity.

Hopalong1:

That sounds like a person who has capacity to understand and reason, but has become disorganised - somewhat different to lacking capacity.

Hello troubleinparadise


Hmm, another good point, as we have been visiting him in the home he is getting better and mentally extremely sharp.


Really difficult call on this - living the way he has been living could be interpreted as he isn't thinking clearly/lacks capacity, or, he is simply not coping as well as he used to regarding cleanliness, etc.


Thanks everyone, this is really helping me to crystallise my worries and giving me lists to organise his care properly.

Hopalong1

z.n wrote: »

Capacity can come and go when someone is ill. When doing the POA you get capacity checked (by solicitor and doctor in MinL case-we had to wait for her health to improve and then got in there quick in case she deteriorated again) and sign the POA there and then. The key is that they understand and can sign a POA which may or may not actually be activated in the future.

I would try to get the POA sorted asap (ie all done and dusted in this period of relative improvement) and see how things go with the two care visits once he is home. It may work out or it might not- you just won't know until he tries it.

Just because someone has let their house go does not mean they lack mental capacity- they might just be physically overwhelmed. Similarly, if someone is ill they might lose track of their medication. The key is whether they have capacity at the moment they sign the document.

I think you are right to have deep concerns about the IFA. Sounds very odd for him to have a view on A's ability to remain at home. Get as much information and paperwork as you can and go through with a fine tooth comb. It does sound as if A has been too trusting and I hope this has not been taken advantage of.

Hello z_n


Thank you - it gives me a broader perspective on this.


With the FA, it gets odder, he wanted to rush through certain jobs for Relative A with a friend doing the work, this friend he says he strongly vouches for.


Now, as we have only just met FA, and his friend, we have said we want quotes, in writing, with references giving full breakdown. His friend has telephoned via mobile giving a quote less than a third of the other quotes we have, we have nothing in writing, don't even know the chap's full name and address.


FA has rang trying to push us to accept his friends quote, saying that its Relative A's wishes to get home as quickly as possible, and he thought we wanted that too.


I again said that I really wanted a family discussion with my OH, myself and Relative A, to compare quotes properly especially as Relative A is improving at the home, and FA seemed to imply again that Relative A is fine and doesn't need POA....


I am really starting to worry now, as it does seem rather peculiar, another tradesman I mentioned the quote price to said this would barely pay for materials. Still nothing in writing from FA's friend....


It's really starting to sow the seeds of doubt in my mind about FA. It may simply be that he feels he is helping Relative A and doing him a favour? Or am I just getting paranoid?



I would love to see Relative A home, healthy, happy and independent, enjoying his mod cons and carers, and thriving on it. It's just that he is doing so well where he is, and I feel much less worried about him, even if he's only going to be in there a few weeks or months.


I don't know. I am getting a funny feeling about it all, and don't want works rushed or bodged by a stranger who hasn't given us any contact details just a mobile number.....

millysg1

is the FA asking his mate to do it so cheaply so you wont need any more money and therefore not request to look further into his finances! or take money out!

CH27

Hopalong1 wrote: »

Hello troubleinparadise


Hmm, another good point, as we have been visiting him in the home he is getting better and mentally extremely sharp.


Really difficult call on this - living the way he has been living could be interpreted as he isn't thinking clearly/lacks capacity, or, he is simply not coping as well as he used to regarding cleanliness, etc.


Thanks everyone, this is really helping me to crystallise my worries and giving me lists to organise his care properly.

That is possibly because he is well fed, properly hydrated & has routine & company to stimulate his mind.

Hopalong1

millysg1 wrote: »

is the FA asking his mate to do it so cheaply so you wont need any more money and therefore not request to look further into his finances! or take money out!

Hello millysg1


I hadn't thought of that, call me naïve, it's funny, the amount he quoted happens to match what Relative A has in his current account....


Argh, now I am feeling more paranoid..... : (