Bowel cancer, stoma, illestomy bags, my journey with my fathers illness

Brickwall

mum2one wrote: »

:beer:

Thank u, know when dad had his bag it was literally bye and get on with it, I really didn't know which way to turn and got so much support from here, to be honest as well dad never really got in with his bagged it sounds daft but it robbed him of who he was, he stopped wearing shorts, refused to go swimming again. Made worse as the original doctor gave the impression that it's only temporary , knowing Damm well it wasn't,


Hope ur daughter goes on ok, is hers reversible xx

We think it is, until she has tests we won't be sure, she ended up in intensive care with peritonitis, she's been due to have the tests this year but keeps putting it back.

My dad never got to grips with his bag, if someone was visiting he wouldn't get and go to the bathroom to sort things, causing all kinds of arguments as you can imagine.

My daughter on the other hand goes swimming, running, loves the gym, uni, works and recently took up boxing( that one scares the hell out of me to be honest ). Just recently she posted a picture on Facebook showing her bag.

Xx

I Think it shows how attitudes between the generations has changed.

mum2one

Brickwall - Its def a generation issue, the arguements I had with dad over his bag, he wouldn't want to go out at times, so it was right a to b, but loo stop here, then he would be ok. He was funny even thou I had put a spare bag / wipes etc into a bum bag - no he had to take his months supply bag out,

Your daughter sounds like nothing is holding her back, hopefully everything goes ok for her. x

...
Last of the paperwork sent off - so if anyone else wants a death cert there hae to wait, - just waiting to see what comes back..

x

ERICS_MUM

mum2one wrote: »

Brickwall - Its def a generation issue, the arguements I had with dad over his bag, he wouldn't want to go out at times, so it was right a to b, but loo stop here, then he would be ok. He was funny even thou I had put a spare bag / wipes etc into a bum bag - no he had to take his months supply bag out,

Your daughter sounds like nothing is holding her back, hopefully everything goes ok for her. x

...
Last of the paperwork sent off - so if anyone else wants a death cert there hae to wait, - just waiting to see what comes back..

x

You might be a tad optimistic about the last of the paperwork ! Mum died on 5 March and I'm still getting letters from HMRC, DWP and other govt offices, telling me (a) they owe Mum's estate some money (b) Mum's estate owes them money.

When I went into the bank to sort out Mum's account they dealt with me at the counter, so obviously everyone in the queues could hear. All of a sudden I felt my bottom lip quiver and I burst into tears ! They then had the decency to take me into a private room to complete the paperwork and made me a lovely cuppa - no biscuits though.

As for selling her flat, I can't believe the number of multi-page forms I've had to fill in for the solicitor and the fees we have to pay all and sundry for snippets of info that I can't find in Mum's documents.

I could write a book. It has taught me that I need to get all my affairs in order and communicate them to my siblings well in advance.

You need a tough skin to deal with all this nonsense, just at a time when your skin is at its thinnest.

Onward and Upward !

EM xx