Bowel cancer, stoma, illestomy bags, my journey with my fathers illness

ERICS_MUM

Dear mum2one, I just want to say I will be thinking of you tomorrow. There's no denying that funerals can be horrendous, I was dreading my Mum's back in March but once we were underway and all together it was surprisingly comforting to be able to talk about her, laugh about our memories of her and have a cry with people who knew how we felt.

It marked the end of the 'first phase' of Mum dying, because my siblings and I had to move on to looking after Mum's home and precious belongings. This is proving very emotional too, especially the day my sister and I were there to help the charity people take away some pieces of furniture we remember Mum using for years.

Anyway enough about me. Tomorrow is your Dad's day and your day - to grieve, mourn, cry, laugh, remember as you feel you need to do.

EM xx

mum2one

A quick update of Wed

DD helped me choose a few pics for the wake, and got the main photo for the coffin.

We had a call from water company - there working throu the grant form looking v positive.

Been and paid the wake - one less thing to worry about.

managed to get a few household bits done - online shopping, check banking, just about to get ready for bed.. x

mum2one

A quick update,

The funeral went off brillaintly, it was a godsend having mums friend come with us in the family car, not only it was someone to help mum in and out of the car, but also a support emotionally for her.

The vicar was lovely he really made it personal service, it was a real celebration of his live, and a couplf of bits made people laugh..

My DD has an email named after her DDlovesmoney... he mentions that and DD was gobsmacked as how he knew it.... he then says I should change my email to Philwants money...

Then mentioned dads love of travel, esp Devon was important to us all, then a joke about Dad spending so much time at Manchester airport but never getting any further than the car park.

DD had a massive panic attack after the ceremony, - got that sorted ok.

The wake went off well, the food was amazing, we'd catered for 40, had about 50 to the service and 28 came to the wake, everyone was taking food home with them.

That evening - we had online shopping - needed to bring some normality back..

Were having a quiet weekend, to settle in, get over everything, next week let the paperwork begin..

....
Life assurance - finally been notified - got to send info to them
Funeral grant - being processed
Additional funds for funeral ... wip
Council TAx - Got a lovely massive form to fill in
Private Pension - mum will get small sum (all help) wip

...
Completed
House Ins - All swopped in one call (as was joint names) - no more fee's to pay
Homecare Boiler - Swopped into my name - no additional costs
Elec - Mums name - were still entitled to the Mcmillian scheme for 2 yrs


xx

ERICS_MUM

Doing well girl !

pollyanna_26

I am so glad to read how well the funeral went . You have gone above and beyond to plan and sort things . Your dad would have been so proud . There is usually a period when the running is all done when reality kicks in and the emotion comes out . I wish some peace , some rest and some fun to you all . Take good care of yourself - you've had a heavy load to bear . Hugs and best wishes to you all .
polly x

ERICS_MUM

pollyanna_26 wrote: »

I am so glad to read how well the funeral went . You have gone above and beyond to plan and sort things . Your dad would have been so proud . There is usually a period when the running is all done when reality kicks in and the emotion comes out . I wish some peace , some rest and some fun to you all . Take good care of yourself - you've had a heavy load to bear . Hugs and best wishes to you all .
polly x

Polly you are so right. My Mum died in March and I've just reached the 'aftershock' stage - it's tough but you find your way through in your own way.

EM xxx

pollyanna_26

Erics Mum . Sending warm hugs to you also . You never totally get over the loss but memories of the good times should see you through . Take care
polly x

mum2one

Tackled a couple of smaller jobs 2day -

On top of wardrobes - suitcases - felt like everything but the kitchen sink - how 1 family need 10 cool bags - different shapes and sizes.... never mind everything else, all got sorted, got 2 suitcases - both full - for charity shop

Job 2
Bookcase -in front room, sounds daft but took 2 hrs to sort - all gutted, carrier bag of books and dvds - car boot and charity shops.
So funny as I had some of dads books that we wanted to keep - put them all together, as soon as I put one of mine by it, mine kept falling over,.. so have a lovely gap in the middle..

...........
Hope no-one minds me sharing these photos .

Not the exact flowers - there at the hospice - what we choose form, ours were idential

https://www.flickr.com/photos/115767032@N02/27110532950/in/dateposted-public/

That was off me and DD

https://www.flickr.com/photos/115767032@N02/27110528370/in/dateposted-public/

off mum

...
This is an old photo of dad - from 1992 - summed him up perfectly,

https://www.flickr.com/photos/115767032@N02/27110709050/in/dateposted-public/

anmarj

Nice pictures x worst part is going through things, it was only me and my husband clearing out a three bed house in one week and I was seven months pregnant as my sister has no intention coming up to help, as well as running (as best as one can do at seven months!) getting the paperwork and funeral organised.

luxor4t

Thinking of you x