Bowel cancer, stoma, illestomy bags, my journey with my fathers illness

Torry_Quine

So sorry to hear the news. Take care of yourself.

Upsidedown_Bear

So sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you all xx

Jellybro

I'm so sorry to hear he has passed away. You must all be in a complete state of shock and disbelief right now.
My thoughts are with you and your family at this difficult time.
Xxxx

ERICS_MUM

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

I must say that you have been amazing throughout this sad journey, I cannot believe how strong you appear even though I'm sure you are devastated and all churned up inside. Just think of all the lovely memories you all made in Dad's last few months - they will be with you always.

I know life will be very busy for a few weeks now but please please make time to rest, eat properly and have some time for yourself.

Also in due course give some thought to what you would like to do 'next'. This sounds odd but I'm going through similar at the mo. I was my Mum's carer for 2 years until she died 8 weeks ago. At first I was busy sorting everything out but now most things are dealt with and I find myself without a purpose in life! Looking after Mum was almost a full time job for me, luckily I'm retired. it was an honour to help her live her last years in her own flat five minutes from me. But now, I have no structure to my day, no routine of popping to Mum's, her shopping, housework etc. Theoretically I'm free to do whatever takes my fancy, but practically I can't get my act together and make use of my time ! I find myself on Internet forums for hours a day, grooming the cat and having an afternoon nap. And eating chocolate !
I know it will gradually fall into place but I do feel anxious at the mo.

Best wishes

EM. Xxx

mum2one

EricsMum - so sorry about your mum, it sounds like you did so much to help mum remain independant,

I feel lost 2ngt, mums taking it better than I thought, I dont think it has sunk it, DD is taking it bad, weve had to have 999 ambulance earlier, she had a massive panic attack.

Mums got ill health, we always thought she would be the one to go before Dad, got the dog, so DD took over walkies, I've been the organiser.

xx

mum2one

It feels odd in a way with this thread although I have my thread etc I feel that this is / was dads thread, although we have lost him and with the coroner being involved, all up in the air , I going to keep this thread going , document where we are what's happening,

mum2one

After yesterday were all in shock not really sunk in, dd has taken it worst, she had some bad panic attacks we had to have an ambulance at one stage,

Slowly working through the list of letting family and friends know, with the family we've spoken to one person and asked them to contact the rest of the family,

Practical note - were in limbo, spoke to the car ins company the car is still insured im a named driver, we always had each other as 2nd driver, help for a bit as mum struggles with my car getting in and out, my mum is disabled as well,

Music, we've told to choose two songs for going in and out crem, mum suggested ur never walk alone, while its a great song I always attribute it to Liverpool fans, he was a spurs fan, he liked country and western and the seekers next work in planning,

Sure before the end of the day there be something else xx

We've got through the day, popped to supermarket, and saw about 6 different people, luckly they knew, it was easier, on way home saw a couple of neighbours down the road - it hit them bad.

DD - Shes had a lot better day, shes mowed the grass, her friend came up so theyve taken the dog for a walk. xx

pollyanna_26

So very sorry to read your Dad has finally lost his fight . It must comfort you all that he was at home with those he loved and over the last few months you all got to make new memories .
Sending warm hugs to you , your Mam and your daughter . Hope the school situation sorts out . Look after yourself love and hold your memories in your heart .
polly xxx

GlasweJen

Sorry for your loss x

Savvy_Sue

I am very sorry for your loss, not been following the thread closely but wanted to give my condolences.

mum2one wrote: »

Music, we've told to choose two songs for going in and out crem, mum suggested ur never walk alone, while its a great song I always attribute it to Liverpool fans, he was a spurs fan, he liked country and western and the seekers

Dad was also a spurs fan: the two 'hymns' associated with them are 'Oh when the saints go marching in' (apparently sung really slowly) and the Battle Hymn of the Republic - aka 'Glory Glory Hallelujah' or 'John Brown's body'. Obviously they don't necessarily sing the original words at White Hart Lane.

However, I also skimmed wikipedia for a list of Seekers songs, and there are several there which might be more to your taste. At the risk of making you cry (which maybe isn't a bad thing), there's 'I'll never find another you', and several 'hymns'. Depends what you want, of course.

I've just had to look at the orders of service for both Dad and Mum: it looks as if Mum vetoed too many spurs references for Dad, although I think we had the organist play 'Oh when the Saints' as we left the church, but we actually sang the Battle Hymn at Mum's.