Be Awesome in Autumn with Slimming World

jockosjungle

Being on SW has made me think generally about how I used to eat, if I had fishfingers and chips for tea, I'd have two slices of bread and butter with it. I'm hoping I'll be able to stick to the theory of SW when I reach target weight but sticking in a few treats and takeaways as well. I'm quite happy to change to their chips.

I'm really not sure what my target weight should be, I'm down to 14st 5lb, but looking at my belly I still seem to have a long way to go, 13st 11lb will be my not overweight weight for a BMI of 24.9 possibly for the first time in my whole life. But I think I could do with being somewhere lower down than that.

I am noticing a few changes when I wear clothes, I'm 2 stone 2lb lighter and I've had to stick two new notches in my belt. My legs seem thinner and so does my face, people are not yet asking if I'm ill.

Managed to walk 110 miles this month as well!

frogga

Hi All,


Thought I'd hop on and tell you all my news. So I stuck to it, and now I'm at target, in a size 10 and came 2nd in Miss World. No, not really, as chubby as ever, but I can dream....


I was after some advice from people I love and trust but I don't know anyone like that so I thought I'd ask you lot. The issue is with regards to asking my Dad and his wife NOT to buy us gifts this year. I don't get on with her at all, but I don't want to be accused of being really rude. I'm not over friendly, and I don't have much to do with her, but I'm civil when we meet.


To cut a long story short, when I was a child, she was my mums best friend. She left her husband and was given a place to stay with us in our family home. She stayed for a year. My mum and dad lent her money to get back on her feet, then she moved out, and my dad went with her. It ripped our family apart obviously. It was the start of all the bad times for us as kids, and obviously for my mum. Dad came back to us 3 times, she threatened suicide, called at 2am etc, and he went back to her.


Anyway, I despise her. I know it was 25 years ago, but she is a manipulative unpleasant person. A liar, a cheat and she is a practising Christian which makes it so much worse.


And so to the problem. The presents that they buy are very thoughtless, generic presents that they put no thought into. Just the sort of thing you'd buy the neighbour for feeding the cat.


Mr Frog always insists that I open it before Christmas day to avoid tears on the day and spoiling it. Then we all 'get over it' before Christmas. I know I sound ungrateful, but I hope you understand. I'm sick of them just giving 'a gift' for the sake of it when they put no thought in AT ALL. Over the years I've had A hand towel (to me and Mr Frog, not even a pair!), Teabags, Plastic Jar of Peaches (£1.30 in Sainsbury's), a vegetable knife, teabags and jam, Stilton in a mug (I HATE mouldy cheese), Coffee (I don't drink coffee, never have) Walnuts in a basket(!!!) to name but a few classics. All joking aside, it is hurtful that he knows so little about me.




Some friends at work have said just say money is tight this year and so you'd rather not send presents, and would rather they didn't either. But I'm not saying that. Money isn't tight, it's not about the money, it's about the fact that they waste money on inappropriate things and I always get offended by their thoughtlessness!!


Last year they bought Tadpole 1 a very grundy scarf suitable for a Granny (she is 18) and Tadpole 2 a toy for age 10+ (he is 17). This last few years she has bought me fruit, usually mouldy, and stuff that is tasteless as it's out of season, and she makes a point of saying 'because I know you have issues with chocolate and biscuits as you are always on a diet I've given you fruit' which is SO RUDE and just highlights a private issue!!!! And my eating disorders were down to her actions!!!!


They are not short of money before someone says maybe that's all they can afford. They are VERY tight towards me, but not her daughter or grandchildren, they live in a mansion, and have flashy cars and holidays. It's NOT about the money, please believe me, it's about the smack in the face.


I would like to write to them, and say, please don't get us a present, it is a total waste of time and money, and I'm really offended by what you buy me. How would you word it? By the way, for my 18th when I was about a size 12-14, she bought me a blouse from Evans that was a size 24. She is a total b1tch.


What shall I do?


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

shala_moo

Hi Frogga :wave: good to see you x

It's hard to advise as there are obviously other underlying tensions but for me it depends what you would like as an outcome and how you think she would react. She obviously has a hold over your dad so that's the relationship I would look at..

Do you get on with your dad?
Are you bothered if she makes him never speak to you again?

if not then write them a letter saying exactly what you put in your last sentence.. you don't need to dilly-dally around it as you don't need to keep them in your life.

If you want to keep a relationship with your dad then it's a little bit more delicate. You could just keep accepting the presents but throw them in the bin without even opening them - then you don't get upset with what she buys you because you have no idea what it is.

For you buying them gifts.. I simply wouldn't bother and not say a word about it.. only rude people would ask why you haven't bought them a present. :rotfl: they may never ask and then next year they won't bother buying you one because "well she never bought us one last year" - problem solved

p.s. i'm very angry on your behalf that she could stab your mom in the back like that :mad: what a low thing to do, heartless cowbag..

Crabapple

Hugs frogga, she sounds awful. Not just the betrayal back then but still having little digs and not bothering with gifts (adults can be a pain to buy for but they need to make an effort for the kids at least).

It does depend whether or not you want to burn your bridges, as Shala said. Not that you'll miss her one bit but it is your dad. Personally I'd be tempted to be rather blunt. Otherwise just say that you don't need or want anything and you'd rather they spent their money elsewhere.

Perhaps suggest that they give the tadpoles a voucher for a shop they use or some money rather than gifts they won't use?

I have people I struggle to think of suitable presents for. I'd rather send a voucher than some tat that says I didn't put any thought into it and gave them something awful. She's probably just recycling presents she didn't want by the sounds of it

lantanna

Why do you not just bin whatever offending item they send you before even opening it or drop it into charity shop etc.


Just send them a card with a voucher in it and let them spend it on buying reduced price tins of peaches in the sales : ) for presents for next year.


Rise above it - she'll never change, it sounds like even if you did say don't buy us something it would probably just cause more issues that just aren't worth the hassle.


I def say let her get on with it - get rid of the present asap, don't even think about it and send her something suitably nice - take happiness in being the better person and be thankful you are not mean like her and get on with enjoying your Christmas!


The tin of peaches did make me chuckle! She obviously just does it for a reaction so let her get on with it.


Oh I did have an ex's mother who I couldn't stand and I think it was mutual and one day I went to theirs for dinner and she informed me she had made me slimmers soup. I wasn't on a diet at the time, was a happy size 16 and had never said anything about wanting to lose weight to her. I politely thanked her and told her in no uncertain terms I didn't want or need Slimming soup and would just be having what everybody else was - her face was a picture!!

wizkid1

frogga wrote: »

Hi All,


Thought I'd hop on and tell you all my news. So I stuck to it, and now I'm at target, in a size 10 and came 2nd in Miss World. No, not really, as chubby as ever, but I can dream....


I was after some advice from people I love and trust but I don't know anyone like that so I thought I'd ask you lot. The issue is with regards to asking my Dad and his wife NOT to buy us gifts this year. I don't get on with her at all, but I don't want to be accused of being really rude. I'm not over friendly, and I don't have much to do with her, but I'm civil when we meet.


To cut a long story short, when I was a child, she was my mums best friend. She left her husband and was given a place to stay with us in our family home. She stayed for a year. My mum and dad lent her money to get back on her feet, then she moved out, and my dad went with her. It ripped our family apart obviously. It was the start of all the bad times for us as kids, and obviously for my mum. Dad came back to us 3 times, she threatened suicide, called at 2am etc, and he went back to her.


Anyway, I despise her. I know it was 25 years ago, but she is a manipulative unpleasant person. A liar, a cheat and she is a practising Christian which makes it so much worse.


And so to the problem. The presents that they buy are very thoughtless, generic presents that they put no thought into. Just the sort of thing you'd buy the neighbour for feeding the cat.


Mr Frog always insists that I open it before Christmas day to avoid tears on the day and spoiling it. Then we all 'get over it' before Christmas. I know I sound ungrateful, but I hope you understand. I'm sick of them just giving 'a gift' for the sake of it when they put no thought in AT ALL. Over the years I've had A hand towel (to me and Mr Frog, not even a pair!), Teabags, Plastic Jar of Peaches (£1.30 in Sainsbury's), a vegetable knife, teabags and jam, Stilton in a mug (I HATE mouldy cheese), Coffee (I don't drink coffee, never have) Walnuts in a basket(!!!) to name but a few classics. All joking aside, it is hurtful that he knows so little about me.




Some friends at work have said just say money is tight this year and so you'd rather not send presents, and would rather they didn't either. But I'm not saying that. Money isn't tight, it's not about the money, it's about the fact that they waste money on inappropriate things and I always get offended by their thoughtlessness!!


Last year they bought Tadpole 1 a very grundy scarf suitable for a Granny (she is 18) and Tadpole 2 a toy for age 10+ (he is 17). This last few years she has bought me fruit, usually mouldy, and stuff that is tasteless as it's out of season, and she makes a point of saying 'because I know you have issues with chocolate and biscuits as you are always on a diet I've given you fruit' which is SO RUDE and just highlights a private issue!!!! And my eating disorders were down to her actions!!!!


They are not short of money before someone says maybe that's all they can afford. They are VERY tight towards me, but not her daughter or grandchildren, they live in a mansion, and have flashy cars and holidays. It's NOT about the money, please believe me, it's about the smack in the face.


I would like to write to them, and say, please don't get us a present, it is a total waste of time and money, and I'm really offended by what you buy me. How would you word it? By the way, for my 18th when I was about a size 12-14, she bought me a blouse from Evans that was a size 24. She is a total b1tch.


What shall I do?


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi frogga, don't bother with them you have your family, stick with them, and no one else.they are not worth it and she can't be a Christian. Proper Christians don't behave like that .Don't worry. Enjoy Christmas with your family, they are the ones that are important to you Remember that x

Lois_Lane

Hi again :wave:

Sorry to hear of your troubles Frogga, families can be nightmare. I agree with Shala_moo - throw their presents away unopened so you don't know what they've bought you, and don't bother buying anything for them. I wonder if your Dad knows what she buys? My DH always leaves the present buying to me, and doesn't usually have a clue or really care what I buy, so it could be the same with your Dad. If he knew, he might have words with the wicked [STRIKE]b1tch[/STRIKE] stepmother.

LL

Lois_Lane

wizkid1 wrote: »

Hi frogga, don't bother with them you have your family, stick with them, and no one else.they are not worth it and she can't be a Christian. Proper Christians don't behave like that .Don't worry. Enjoy Christmas with your family, they are the ones that are important to you Remember that x

You're right, yet some of the meanest, most selfish and nasty people I've known have claimed to be Christians.

LL

Crabapple

lantanna wrote: »

Oh I did have an ex's mother who I couldn't stand and I think it was mutual and one day I went to theirs for dinner and she informed me she had made me slimmers soup. I wasn't on a diet at the time, was a happy size 16 and had never said anything about wanting to lose weight to her. I politely thanked her and told her in no uncertain terms I didn't want or need Slimming soup and would just be having what everybody else was - her face was a picture!!

But you only *think* she didn't like you?!

wizkid1

Frogga me again just to say Bide your time, your dad has been bewitched, But, he will wake up one day and realised what has happened and he will be back with you. He is your Dad no matter what, just be patient. X:)