How to diplomatically tell someone to suck it up?

Mojisola

GlasweJen wrote: »

We all know A is a problem but we suspect that our director is terrified to get rid as A would probably try to sue us or something.

The problem is the longer it's left the worse things will get. Eventually, good staff will start to look for work elsewhere if A is allowed to continue - the longer A stays, the more powerful he/she will feel and boundaries will get pushed further and further.

Document everything so that you can show every reasonable adjustment has been made to accommodate A's needs and where A has been unreasonable.

msb5262

Hi OP,
I think this needs dealing with by A's manager but as you manage A's manager, you can direct how it's handled to some extent.
Do you think it might be worth doing a written reminder of the breaks etc to which everyone is entitled and sending it out to all members of staff, just for "clarification" purposes? That way nobody will feel they've been picked on and it will be laid out clearly in writing for future reference...
as far as other things go e.g. injecting in a communal food area, how about looking at health and safety rules regarding sharps as your rationale? Also in your position I'd be talking to either a diabetes nurse or maybe the Diabetes Association about how you can support A and show that you are making reasonable adjustments to enable A to work, as you are required to do by law. It's all made more difficult by the fact that A sounds to be pretty annoying....I wish you luck!

Startingagainagain

Mojisola wrote: »

The problem is the longer it's left the worse things will get. Eventually, good staff will start to look for work elsewhere if A is allowed to continue - the longer A stays, the more powerful he/she will feel and boundaries will get pushed further and further.

Document everything so that you can show every reasonable adjustment has been made to accommodate A's needs and where A has been unreasonable.

This is very true and give that A is showing themselves to be rather manipulative you need to tread very carefully.


We had a similar situation with someone with a long term illness - turned out he'd sued the company before us for a life changing sum of money.


Can you get some proper advice from legal / HR / OT? Whilst it might be tempting to tell him to 'suck it up' (I know you weren't really) this needs a considered approach to avoid this turning into a huge issue for you and the workplace as a whole.

Caroline_a

I would go down the 'is this employee a suitable employee' route. Firstly, as far as the injections go, you need to insist that this is done in a suitable environment. You have offered this, but now you need to use the H & S banner to insist.

Secondly, regarding the lunch breaks, you need to point out that if A wishes to take a longer lunch then she will not be allowed a tea break. If she 'needs' a tea break then the lunch break must be correspondingly shorter.

I would do this in a review meeting. Document details, but use Attitude as one of your headings. Make sure that you don't go on about using the diabetes as any reason - if she moans about not getting a sweet that's tough! Point out that none of this is about her condition, but about her attitude to other workers and the way she conducts herself in her role. Every time she brings this up ask how it affects the way she speaks to people.

Document everything, give her a Performance Improvement Plan and if she doesn't stick to it, get rid!

BigAunty

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Mm, see, I see injecting as like breastfeeding. It's just a thing people do and they shouldn't be shamed into a corner to do it. The med cases I see have a pouch to pop the needles in for later discreet disposal.

I disagree. A person with diabetes should do their injections in private to be respectful to others. Doing it in private does not cast it as a shameful act but a personal one. It is a medical procedure.

EDIT- Besides, the context is that it is being done by a colleague with not a shred of respect for their colleagues, who is deliberately breaching the terms of their employment and ignoring management instructions. It is all part of their divisive and self centred behaviour, part of a pattern.

sweaty_betty

As someone with diabetes, I have sympathy with the OP. I don't think it's psychologically healthy for people with long term health problems to let it dominate their lives, if it can be avoided.

My only additional thought - in light of person A having been fine in the probationary period - is that I wonder if they are suddenly having problems managing their blood sugar. When I am ill, or when I am pregnant, my blood sugar (at least initially) goes out of control and needs much closer management.

Might be worth ruling that option out if possible.

whitewing

Maybe occupational health could review A's situation to see if any adjustments can be recommended now they are permanent. I agree that the diabetes may have become worse. I guess that can make things a bit more irritable.

pinpin

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I then made the mistake of agreeing to meet up for a coffee and he wouldn't stop texting me. He then said "I can't help it. I have OCD and depression". Since when did those illnesses (I've got OCD and have had depression) give you an excuse to act like a !!!!!!?

lol, that so reminds me of an ex work colleague who was always lying about all kinds of things.
Whenever they were 'caught out' on their lies, they'd say ''Sorry. I can't help it. It's my depression/bi-polar (etc etc)''

Their partner seemed to think it was a valid excuse, too. I thought he was nuts. (''she can't help making up lies. It's her OCD'')

summerspring

Grumpelstiltskin wrote: »

I wonder if this guy doesn't want a job. Maybe he thought pressure was being put on him to do the placement but he never thought he would be offered the job at the end of it.

I think this is possibly the case.

He can't just give up the job because that would affect his entitlement to benefits, so he has to try and wangle it that work is discriminating because of his health condition.

OP you can in fact get rid of any new employee for any reason, as long as it is not discrimination. I'd be looking to let this employee go, as he is disrupting the working environment.

BigAunty

You now have to tread very carefully indeed now that they are 'screaming victim' and refusing to cooperate with instructions that apply to all staff. The latter shows that they see themselves as special, with the right to certain priviliges and that they are up for a fight.

They have already indicated a willingness to submit complaints to higher management. They will now be doing their best to create even more disharmony, its clear they thrive on conflict. You have also admitted that senior management may have no appetite to back you up.

Youve posted in the relationship forum but now your colleague is hoping to inflict disciplinary procedures on you, by the sounds of it, you ought to be asking for advice in the Employment section on how to handle an employee who refuses to cooperate with the terms of their employment and threatens to use their medical condition as justification for it.

You've got to go by the book - they are a professional victim, perhaps with a personality disorder or emotional/mental imbalance like passive aggression. What is a nightmare experience for you and your colleagues is something that gives them deep pleasure.

Do you have a HR department? No mention so far.