Friend's attitude has hurt me

shegirl

Ok, I've read your other thread moaning about this poor retired woman now being 'boring' and there being something wrong with her because she cleans her house 3 times a week whereas you think only once is normal, AND (heaven forbid) she takes one and a half hours longer than your mother does AND irons 95% of her washing (seriously, do you time the poor woman and monitor her ironing?) and watches 'the carp films on Five' and all I can honestly say is you sound like the most awful type of 'friend' anyone could possibly imagine.


Months ago you wanted to tell her she is boring. You have compared her cleaning with your mother because you don't think it's normal. You wanted to contact her friends to see if they found her boring. You commented you were not close enough to her husband to ask if he is finding her boring too..


What is wrong with YOU is the question. Why are you like this? This is not normal behaviour and it sure isn't normal friendship on YOUR part.


Personally, I think you need to seek help and expand your social skills and social network because people who act like this about and around 'friends' won't have friends for very long.

Georgiegirl256

Calien wrote: »

Is this the same "boring" friend from a few months ago?

I remember that thread. I thought it was cruel and mean spirited, and I felt sorry for the "friend".

Maybe she's seeing you for what you really are at long last OP?

WeAreGhosts

it is reading threads like this that reaffirms my decision to keep myself to myself, that people [that i have come into contact with anyway] are generally all "me me me" and that i cannot be bothered with them. it takes far too much energy to care
gimme a cat or a dog anyday

Peter333

Responses from me in BLUE

ScarletMarble wrote: »

Been friends with her for 4 years. Normally,

Past 2.5 weeks, I have been trying to phone her but either was engaged - just the once or not in. She has tried to ring me a couple times herself when I'm out.

She has a mobile only to make calls to DH or DS when out then switches off as soon the call ends. She does not text, does not e-mail etc. A right technophobe.

Then yesterday lunchtime,, I went to a shop during my lunch hour buying a few things. My friend was in there as well. She saw me, stormed right up to me asking me 'You've got a problem. Why aren't you ringing me?'' in an abrupt manner.

I was so hurt that I didn't know what to say. I said I need to back to work and mentioned that i did try to ring her several times.

Maybe she is abrupt with you because of how you treat HER

She needs to be told how hurt I am with her attitude. I bet yesterday my friend spoke to her dh 'when back at home 'bumped into Scarlet in (shop) and didn't want to know me' which is a pack of lies.

Why do you assume that she is slating you to her DH? And why does she NEED TO BE TOLD anything?

I do get on with her DH. I am not too sure if he has noticed a downturn in her behaviour, attitude in her. But someone needs to tell him - unless he knows and her definitely the truth. If these friends that did not send cards last Dec have done other than the cost of postage, they are scarred to speak up.

Why do you feel the need to tell her DH?

I don't think I can go being friends with her unless she apologizes to me - not accepting a simple 'I'm sorry' and I want my ticket for a performance I am seeing in three weeks time as a school friend does the main role. I did pay for it, but at the moment, she can go but she needs to get a different seat as not sitting next to her .


You are not sitting next to her??? What are you, FIVE?

I will be telling a few colleagues who knows about my friend's rudeness etc

What has it got to do with your colleagues???

So what is the best way to say to my friend that her attitude, tone and rudeness have hurt me and upset me, why is she getting more rude and unless she takes note of what is said, that this will be the end of my friendship with her.

Do your 'friend' a favour: end the friendship. It sounds toxic, and I think she would be better off without you.

Especially after the way you talk about her: particularly in this thread...

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4961129

I am assuming this is the same friend, as they sound so alike.

And I'm not being funny, but why are you - a person in her 30s - 'best friends' with a pensioner?

Nothing wrong with people with big generational gaps being friends and getting on of course, but it seems weird (to me) for 2 'best friends' to have a 30 gap in their ages. I just can't fathom what you would have in common. I am in my mid 50s, and that would be like me having a friendship with a guy just out of his teens. Bit weird.......

JMHO.

System

I simply don't know why I did mention my colleagues in my OP. I have not mentioned this to them apart from my attempts to phone her numerous times.

This afternoon she had the cheek to say something rude to me again in a public place. Popped outside to use the cash machine during lunch break, she approached me in the similar manner 24 hours previously.

I ignored her as I was in a rush. Why the hell would she do it twice to me?

There are two posts about me which are both lies. First was I hated everyone and everything. Second one was I have used this forum under several names. I have just used one. I have been getting the MSE emails for several years but never used the forum until recently

I am annoyed about the b!tchiness here because the way I type. I am dyslexic and writing has never been my forte. I can see in my mind what I want to write but always ends up being rubbish.

Me and my friend have been on good terms but I just don't know what is going on with her and why she has gone all rude

shegirl

ScarletMarble wrote: »

I simply don't know why I did mention my colleagues in my OP. I have not mentioned this to them apart from my attempts to phone her numerous times.

This afternoon she had the cheek to say something rude to me again in a public place. Popped outside to use the cash machine during lunch break, she approached me in the similar manner 24 hours previously.

I ignored her as I was in a rush. Why the hell would she do it twice to me?

There are two posts about me which are both lies. First was I hated everyone and everything. Second one was I have used this forum under several names. I have just used one. I have been getting the MSE emails for several years but never used the forum until recently

I am annoyed about the b!tchiness here because the way I type. I am dyslexic and writing has never been my forte. I can see in my mind what I want to write but always ends up being rubbish.

Me and my friend have been on good terms but I just don't know what is going on with her and why she has gone all rude

Because you are an incredibly rude,childish,bad friend? Don't blame dyslexia,that doesn't make you act and talk in such a horrible way about someone,doesn't make you constantly moan about someone being 'boring' for wanting a clean home or make you want to tell everyone else, who may have ever possibly met her,that she is boring!

BrassicWoman

ScarletMarble wrote: »

Me and my friend have been on good terms but I just don't know what is going on with her and why she has gone all rude

Ignoring me twice in two days would do it for me

HeavyMetalFan

Is this thread a wind up?

Gingernutty

ScarletMarble wrote: »

This afternoon she had the cheek to say something rude to me again in a public place. Popped outside to use the cash machine during lunch break, she approached me in the similar manner 24 hours previously.

I ignored her as I was in a rush. Why the hell would she do it twice to me?

That. Right. There.

When one is in a rush, the 'normal' thing to do would be to say

"Hi [insert name of friend here]. Listen, I can't stop now as I'm only on my lunch break, can I call you this evening? We can catch up then. Lovely to see you."

Not blank them even if you can both clearly see each other. That's rude.

You sound very childish OP and using dyslexia as an excuse won't wash.

It simply means you have trouble reading and writing, not "I have the social skills of a primary school age girl."

I'm a dyslexic. I hate it when people like you blame other deficiencies on this single condition. :mad:

WeAreGhosts

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

Is this thread a wind up?

that crossed my mind too.