Friend's attitude has hurt me

Legacy_user

Been friends with her for 4 years. Normally, we go out twice a month, Last time was 3rd week in June. I was on holiday in July then she had builders in.

Past 2.5 weeks, I have been trying to phone her but either was engaged - just the once or not in. She has tried to ring me a couple times herself when I'm out.

The past week, I have been out most of my days off and she has not rang me as I have caller display on my phones.

She has a mobile only to make calls to DH or DS when out then switches off as soon the call ends. She does not text, does not e-mail etc. A right technophobe.

Then yesterday lunchtime,, I went to a shop during my lunch hour buying a few things. My friend was in there as well. She saw me, stormed right up to me asking me 'You've got a problem. Why aren't you ringing me?'' in an abrupt manner. She was rude and to do it in a public place was embarrassing She immediately jumped into a conclusion which is not true. If I saw her first, I would said 'Hi (name) I've been contacting you when you've been out'...' in a pleasant tone.

I was so hurt that I didn't know what to say. I said I need to back to work and mentioned that i did try to ring her several times.

She needs to be told how hurt I am with her attitude. I bet yesterday my friend spoke to her dh 'when back at home 'bumped into Scarlet in (shop) and didn't want to know me' which is a pack of lies.
I noticed in the past year, her attitude and rudeness has increased. She is retired so nothing with work related stress. At the start of the year she moaned that several friends have not given a birthday and/or Christmas card (birthday is mid Dec) and blamed the price of stamps. I don't think the price of stamps is the ONLY reason....

I do get on with her DH. I am not too sure if he has noticed a downturn in her behaviour, attitude in her. But someone needs to tell him - unless he knows and her definitely the truth. If these friends that did not send cards last Dec have done other than the cost of postage, they are scarred to speak up.

I don't think I can go being friends with her unless she apologizes to me - not accepting a simple 'I'm sorry' and I want my ticket for a performance I am seeing in three weeks time as a school friend does the main role. I did pay for it, but at the moment, she can go but she needs to get a different seat as not sitting next to her .

I will be telling a few colleagues who knows about my friend's rudeness etc via working with her at a previous employer. They have noticed she has not rang them for several weeks. But one friend she does ring and no change in news.

So what is the best way to say to my friend that her attitude, tone and rudeness have hurt me and upset me, why is she getting more rude and unless she takes note of what is said, that this will be the end of my friendship with her.

victory

Some of your post is extremely childish...I am not sitting next to her....I want an apology...i am so hurt..... none of the post seems to focus on anyone else but yourself and you feel you deserve and you should be entitled to... why are you not looking at what the reasons behind her 'attitude' are, could she be lonely now she is retired?

Could she be having marital troubles? depression? illness?

It is not for you to go around telling other people about her you should keep it between yourselves and ask her, you had your chance to tell her when she came up to you in the shop, to calm things down and ask her over to one side and say you had been trying to get in touch, or take her for a cuppa and put your side over but you did not and now you want to tell the world about your issues with her.

And threatening her with the loss of friendship...welll:eek:

Calien

Why would you need to tell her husband anything? :huh: He doesn't "need" to know anything, he's the husband, not the dad of a sullen teenager.

You don't need to tell anyone else either, I mean think about it, of you want to make up with her and she finds out you've been telling others she's a moody cow or something, the friendship really will be gone.

This is all very childish.

System

The thing is I have been at her home when she and her DS having a small wedded bliss quarrel. She does not listen and her attitude does not help. Being stuck up.

I do apologise for OP to sound childish but if you have been hurt by a friend, but I am finding it difficult to think to write.

Some of my colleagues are puzzled in as to why herself and I not been speaking.

lostinrates

Why would your colleagues notice? She doesn't work with you, she's retired you mentioned.

Calien

Married couples quarrel, non married couples quarrel...everyone does.

Just tell the people at work that's it's private and that's it, they don't need to know, it's not their business.

If you think she's stuck up why are you even friends with her in the first place? If you don't like her then just let the friendship die out.

74jax

If you don't like how she is, then I would let it wash over you and move on. No need to dwell on it.

I'm not sure why you need to tell her husband, it's not school, he won't think omg you're right I want to be on your side.....

As for telling your friends, I don't understand? Hour old are you? I'd maybe have mentioned something in passing, like oh no we haven't spoken in a while, but not in detail.

Life isn't a soap opera, you don't need everyone to be involved.

redpete

ScarletMarble wrote: »

She needs to be told how hurt I am with her attitude.

How about writing a letter to her explaining how you feel? Forget about going round mutual friends or her husband - too much scope for second / third-hand reports getting back to her.

I bet yesterday my friend spoke to her dh 'when back at home 'bumped into Scarlet in (shop) and didn't want to know me' which is a pack of lies.

So you're getting upset about what you imagine she might have said to her husband - ridiculous.

Georgiegirl256

ScarletMarble wrote: »

She has a mobile only to make calls to DH or DS when out then switches off as soon the call ends. She does not text, does not e-mail etc. A right technophobe.

So? My Mam is very similar in her mobile phone usage. She has never sent a text or email before. A lot of older people are the same. No biggie.

She needs to be told how hurt I am with her attitude. I bet yesterday my friend spoke to her dh 'when back at home 'bumped into Scarlet in (shop) and didn't want to know me' which is a pack of lies.

I do get on with her DH. I am not too sure if he has noticed a downturn in her behaviour, attitude in her. But someone needs to tell him - unless he knows and her definitely the truth.

I don't think I can go being friends with her unless she apologizes to me - not accepting a simple 'I'm sorry'

and I want my ticket for a performance I am seeing in three weeks time as a school friend does the main role. I did pay for it, but at the moment, she can go but she needs to get a different seat as not sitting next to her .

I will be telling a few colleagues who knows about my friend's rudeness etc via working with her at a previous employer. They have noticed she has not rang them for several weeks. But one friend she does ring and no change in news.

All the above quotes are very childish. It sounds like you're back in the school playground. Especially the "she needs to get a different seat as not sitting next to her" part. Why don't you get a different seat if that's how you feel?

You're both as bad as each other. Infact you might just be worse than your friend. Instead of throwing a strop, why not try to see if there's anything wrong with her, if anything bothering her? That's what a real friend would do.

purpleshoes_2

You've posted about her before and you had nothing nice to say about her then.

You post as if you are very unhappy with your lot. Someone on the boards a while ago said what your previous username was and your posts were exactly the same then, negative, gossiping about people, starting threads about issues with people that had nil to do with you.

You are an adult, its time to sort your own life out and stop interfering in other people's and stop talking about people behind their back/involving other people in issues that don't concern them.

I don't think you'll get much sympathy on here and from your previous posts and threads I don't think you deserve much either.

HurdyGurdy

I'm gunna tell my work colleagues on you
I'm gunna tell your husband on you
I'm not gunna sit next to you
I'm gunna sulk until you're extra nice to me


Truthfully - sounds like she's well out of that friendship. I think it's YOU that *needs* to be told some things, not her, her husband or someone's work colleagues.

Sheesh!