Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

Puzzcat

Thought of you as I was picking my tomatoes and spring onions this lunchtime... and believe me I don't have green fingers....!!


Puzz. x

NoOneAround

Puzzcat wrote: »

Thought of you as I was picking my tomatoes and spring onions this lunchtime... and believe me I don't have green fingers....!!


Puzz. x

ENJOY!!!!!
Just had a cheese and onion and tomato toastie for lunch.....
am thinking how much nicer would it have been with freshly picked ......garden centre trip later this week might cost me methinks
x

PinotGrigio41

Puzzcat wrote: »

Thought of you as I was picking my tomatoes and spring onions this lunchtime... and believe me I don't have green fingers....!!


Puzz. x

You put me to shame Puzzcat !!! xx

brizzledfw

Our green tomatoes will soon be made into chutney..am giving up on the blighters!

Am so glad you are enjoying our diaries on here NOA...agree this place is totally addictive :rotfl:

NoOneAround

Trying to get back into gear after weekend at parent's house with kids as last chance before DD goes to uni.


Feeling low.OH still not on board and taking every opportunity to be negative. Am sick of his feeling sorry for himself , atmosphere at home between us now stifling - makes me want to run away. This must be the longest time in 29 years of marriage that we haven't managed to get over our argument(s) . Makes me think was it just having money and being able to have fun that kept all the cracks papered up? We have so much going for us should he want to fight for it.


DD leaving home in a week, told him on Saturday that the way things are going, in 5 years time when son leaves home there'll be nothing left - just an empty shell of a house and nothing to work for or towards.



Still half heartedly working away at transferring all direct debits. Bank gave us 3 months grace, hold on interest but not on account fees. Realise quite how misplaced my loyalty was - have kept up minimum payments to them for several months longer than other creditors.


Am praying that I get an interview for job I applied for last week - that would cover sons fees and have some extra spending money - chances low as my cv looks Cr*p after 12 years working from home. But staying positive until I hear. Sort of. Have to keep myself thinking that I am the bigger person and I can deal with this. Have just hung out the washing and sun is out - am going out to potter for a while and recharge brain.

NoOneAround

Feeling a bit more like me.
Just planted some lily of valley -dug up weeks ago to split, now probably dead, and some acidanthera bulbs that have sat around waiting to be lovingly planted and enjoyed for the last 6 weeks - they felt a bit light so probably dead too. If they grow = result :j If they don't - nothing lost as have enjoyed being out in the sun.:cool:

brizzledfw

Sending you hugs NOA :grouphug:

Your OH sounds like he may be a bit depressed? I don't know, am not an expert..but this ostrich like behaviour may have a physiological cause? Might be worth seeing someone? Is there a family GP you can speak to?

NoOneAround

Thank you brizzledfw for the much needed hugs:)
I think you are probably spot on. He's just so angry all the time, even at DD and DS, especially DS so needs a good and positive male role model at the moment, but all he ever gets is orders and telling offs. I try hard not to say anything, but it often gets too much and I can't help myself, which then makes it even worse.


OH is just so angry all the time , there is always an edge to his voice. He is not a talker, will always be the joker but never really say anything that means anything. He comes from a big family but none of them get on together and we haven't seen them for many years, so he has no one close to talk to. I come from a very close family though no one knows about our situation.


Going to a GP - he would never do that , especially not if it was me that suggested it. He poo-poos anything to do with "state of mind". I have a science background and read a lot around different ways of dealing with all sorts of issues, he just laughs at it all...eg when I try and explain what teenagers need and building positive relationships etc. He seems to be stuck on " when I was that age I did this ,....was already ..... etc etc". By the was when we got married he was already not talking to his father, they never made it up. Lots of history. Sorry to bore you with all that.


Anyway bottom line is I don't know how I woud get him to see a gp.
xxxx

NoOneAround

Creeping forwards slowly at about the rate of drying paint!


All DD's cancelled now but still need to contact to give them new bank details. Have found the car insurance papers in pile of stuff waiting to be filed from March /April time.....yes I suffer badly from piles and piles .....and goal over the summer was to reduce them once and for all....di not happen. Calls to be done tomorrow.


Now am dealing with it one piece of paper at a time, and dealing rather than shuffling!


Checked old and new bank accounts. My bank said that they would waive the interest but guess what it is still showing on my account and therefore account is now exceeding the OD limit. Too tired to talk to them tonight - another call to make tomorrow. In the meantime haven't looked at thos e life insurance policies again yet because....


Trawling through paperwork to find out about disabled facilities grant for my dad who is virtually housebound now, and more or less blind, so cant do any paperwork. Also spent several hours at the weekend compiling all the info for the application for him, But at the end of the day I don't thing he will get anything because he has savings, painstakingly built-up after a lifetime of hard work, penny by penny and frugal living. Other than mortgage he has never had a loan. Can I really be his daughter? Funny when you have had a really decent salary you tend to become much less careful - it is so easy to borrow and repay, and so we did for 25 years.


Anyways, daughter almost ready for uni, needs to pack though!
has shiny new laptop (I get to inherit the decrepit old one!) and earphones to encourage her to Skype me, Nan bought her crockery set and kitchen utensils as a present, s o Only pots and pans and chopping boards and a few other bits left to buy.


She decided to take original bedding from home to make it more home-like and has made me swear not to cry when I leave as there will be possibly 10 other students in the kitchen group and she doesn't want to embarrass herself by crying in front of them.
NUS card arrive/bank account all sorted, options for course chosen.


Expensive month September - Road tax due on OH car, term's sax lessons to be paid.
Oh and No joy with bursary as we have lots of equity in house.
Was worth a try.:(

NoOneAround

Our phone contracts can be renewed now, Am I going to struggle to get new ones? I was wondering whether they still do a credit search if you are staying with the same company and keeping payments about the same? (£15.00 and £11)
OH needs for business as he contacts clients at lunch times, would cost much more with PAYG....


I made a very stupid mistake of applying on line for buffer £100 OD on Club Lloyds, which bank has hassled me to do every time I go in, but it was declined almost instantly, so that will obviously have gone onto credit report? Silly Silly Silly Silly Me, wasn't a good day yesterday. It's not as if I need it as - we more or less break even each month.


OK onto phone calls to set up new DD's ........
Raining/foggy outside, very grey and depressing.