Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

grannyx2 wrote: »

I wish I had that wand to wipe away your cares my dear x

Oh Granny, thank you for your lovely words. Sometimes I just can't understand why there are some people who have only ever done good for others and are the kindest most generous people but they suffer with ill health etc, and others who do such atrocious things and get away with it.


Sorry am not feeling very forgiving today!:o


Love and hugs
xx
NOAh

Verbatim

Sorry for the situation regarding your parents. It must be really scary for them, and you.
Is there any help available such as carers coming in once or twice a day?
Don't forget to get your tax return in! You don't want a fine and extra interest too.
Hope you're on a roll now with the sorting out.

NoOneAround

Verbatim wrote: »

Sorry for the situation regarding your parents. It must be really scary for them, and you.
Is there any help available such as carers coming in once or twice a day?
Don't forget to get your tax return in! You don't want a fine and extra interest too.
Hope you're on a roll now with the sorting out.

Thank you Verbatim, it is very worrying. We will need to look into carer's popping in if mum can no longer manage, She really does take on too much.
Sorting coming along in fits and starts. Dining room sorted, washing caught up on, kitchen cleaned but not blitzed as had hoped. Caught up on paperwork for the voluntary work I do - and did odds and ends like expense claims and invoicing, chasing unpaid invoices from December. Did not make my big phone calls. Avoidance again I think....!!.... but have been clearing my head of all the dribbly bits of stuff to do.


A couple of enquiries came in so quotes to send out by end of week. Also got a call and have 2 more days of marking Friday and Monday. Have agreed to go on call on Saturday for part time weekend job. Hopefully wont get called out though, fingers crossed, as am exhausted.


TAX ....Arrrghghrr........and VAT for same deadline too. Need to have the outstanding invoices paid urgently to ensure enough money to pay both :eek: . Am really going to have to keep my head screwed on to get it all done on time - was not expecting the extra marking so effectively lose 2 days I thought I had to do accounts BUt its money so can't say no.
Have DS termly music bill to pay and have also just spent £30for his Grade 7 music needed for exam. Also just got a phone call from DD and she needs to pay deposit for house for next academic year - another £400 to find (she has enough to pay it this week, so may not need to give this to her till March - then hopefully she will also have some marking work over easter to cover it. Car service also due and is never less than 350, last time was £600


Just feels like the more I do to get some extra money in the more that goes out. Feel like am slowly drowning, but am a I will not give in.


Apologies for truncated note form sentences....am too tired to even bother looking at what am typing:o


Am going to try and get some sleep now and hope I don't toss and turn like I did all last night, with lucid dreams about weird things that didn't make sense.


Nite Nite All, wishing you all a peaceful nights sleep
....and thank you for being there.


xx
NOAh

NoOneAround

"Morning All" said a groggy NOAh, fumbling for the matchsticks to prop eyelids open.


School done and took 25 mins longer due to roadworks....again. Cannot understand why utilities cannot coordinate to do upgrades at the same time insteadof digging up the same bit of road 3 times.:mad:


Have called StepChange and got an updated I&E to send to predators that are getting restless. Due to increase in taxes and decrease in child benefit, budget is showing £40 overspend each month, so need to keep token payments going (even though am not meant to call them that ).
Need to get those in the post quickly as am getting calls from fidgety creditors.


Have called a friend and going out for a lite bite at garden centre (cost £3-4) - before voluntary work stint this pm at well known advice agency. Might need to tell them soon that I can't do regular slots as need to work for pay. Don't want to but have had to cancel on them a few times and do not like to let people down. Also makes me feel good helping people, the more selfish reason for doing it! but actually really need to free up some time.


Hope all well with you all,
xx
NOAh

liltdiddylilt

Hello NOAh

I am hoping you are in bed asleep as I type. I know what sleep deprivation is like and it makes life so much more difficult. Have you tried Kalms & co? Rescue Remedy? Have used them on and off to great effect. Placebo or not, they do help and MiL is much better with Kalms on car journeys!!

Glad you got the i&e sorted. Hope you get it out tomorrow. Really wish I was close by to help with the tax... have spent the day doing the FCA Fees and Tariffs as I do at this time every year. Such a crazy balancing act of figures. I do enjoy it though.

Sleep tight. Try some breathing exercises. And try not to worry... xx

supersaver1000

Just popping in to say you are doing a great job. I felt like I was on a treadmill too until just recently. Things have calmed down for a while (as they will for you) so keep going, I know it seems hard but it will come together. You are doing a very grand job. :T:T:T

grannyx2

Just popping in to drop off some hugs xxxxx

NoOneAround

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

Hello NOAh

I am hoping you are in bed asleep as I type. I know what sleep deprivation is like and it makes life so much more difficult. Have you tried Kalms & co? Rescue Remedy? Have used them on and off to great effect. Placebo or not, they do help and MiL is much better with Kalms on car journeys!!

Glad you got the i&e sorted. Hope you get it out tomorrow. Really wish I was close by to help with the tax... have spent the day doing the FCA Fees and Tariffs as I do at this time every year. Such a crazy balancing act of figures. I do enjoy it though.

Sleep tight. Try some breathing exercises. And try not to worry... xx

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Just popping in to say you are doing a great job. I felt like I was on a treadmill too until just recently. Things have calmed down for a while (as they will for you) so keep going, I know it seems hard but it will come together. You are doing a very grand job. :T:T:T

grannyx2 wrote: »

Just popping in to drop off some hugs xxxxx

Thank you Granny Lilty and Super for your hugs and support
:A
At the moment this is me :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:


Am soooooo looking forward to Saturday night when I shall be Tax free :D:D:D and much poorer.


Tempted fate too much this past week. Started pottering with tax and catching up thinking I had a week to do it in, then on Wednesday got offered 2 more days work which I took (tax and VAT bills due along with much else), this then got extended so did 3 days. Ds then went down with cold and infected me but I soldiered on, and spent a day on it yesterday, feeling quite good about it all, then I get a call from my dad last night (usually it's me that rings them everyday, so I thought it a bit odd). When I asked if everything was OK he said no not really. Then told me that since Monday the little bit of vision he had left seemed to have gone. Really upset last night that they hadn't told - they knew I was working. Drove to them early this am and took him to hospital eye casualty where his consultant is based . He was so upset, at one point he said life had become nothing, that death would be better than living totally in the dark, being immobile and in pain (arthritic and neur0pathic). He tried so hard not to upset but just sitting in hospital waiting with him, watching his face, which many a time contorted as he tried not to cry. Several hours of checks, there is little they can do, as there has been a haemorrhage but its possible that it will disperse with time and he could get his limited vision back. Fingers and everything crossed, and praying to whoever will listen. Check up in 6 weeks, if not cleared they will try to clear it.
Awake throughout last night, left at 7am this am, drive took 1h45, another hours drive to hospital, then back to take him home, then drove me back home. Exhausted. Think will sleep tonight then blitz it tomorrow.
No room in brain for budget balancing or debt busting. Did email Link and posted I&E to HS*BC x 5. Did call them to tell them (don't shout Mrs PG and Granny and Brogden) but only because I was on deadline of "further action" whatever that might be. As it happened, they hadn't scanned and loaded onto system yet. In the grand scheme of things I have no energy left to care about their further action. Being there for my parents when they need me is what matters most.


Loving you and leaving you for the time being....
Hugs and happiness sent your way.


NOAh
xxxxxx

liltdiddylilt

So sorry about your poor dad NOA. Heartbreaking to see him like that. My mum is going through similar with her dad who is stuck in hospital, immobile because of diabetic feet issues, kidney failure, heart disease... & he just wants to give up. I honestly think if they gave him a button and said 'press it anytime you just want to go' he would have pressed it long ago.

I have everything crossed for his vision clearing. As for you, please take care of yourself. Look after you a bit or the bugs will pile on! Fingers crossed for the tax xx

grannyx2

No shouting, just hugs and sympathy my dear x