Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

liltdiddylilt wrote: »

See NOA. I blink and miss 26 blimmin posts!

Brogden, how could you think our NOA is anything other than lovely, courteous and grateful for your valued input. And no, I am also not being sarcy although compliments on the web are very easy to read the wrong way

I have sat here listening to Jelly talking in her sleep; went in earlier as she was moaning and found her so ridiculously hot that she, and the bed were soaked. Pyjamas and hair dripping wet. So back to the teeny baby duvet tonight. Still on mummy red alert in case it is a fever and not just being trapped under a big peoples single duvet.

All of your posts about Uni made me think... it has been a heartbeat since I had her and yet she sits here jabbering away at me, "pretending" to be a baby... telling me what hurts, asking me for 'some lunch' and bringing me the bottle of squash and her cup... I am sure it will be another heartbeat and she will be off to Uni, or BatCamp, Witches club or some other alternative learning facility... hopefully not prison? :rotfl: no promises there; she is her mothers daughter, but then like her mother she will probably charm her way out of anything. Another Taylor Swift song for you there "I knew you were trouble when you walked in..."

I am sure DS knows that you will be just as heartbroken when he leaves. It is very hard to find common ground with a teenage boy. My 15 year old nephew is going to be very impressed with his boring Auntie Lilty when for his birthday he receives a voucher for his fave super cool gaming brand of clothing "Insert Coin Clothing" which his mum put me onto. Also his Christmas presents are Game of Thrones books from a series he wants and the second book from a series which he has requested the first of from his mum... Niece far easier. Nails? Check. Perfume? Check. Make up? Check.

Huge hugs to anyone who needs them. And just as an aside... I live 250 miles away from my mum and dad... and I miss them every day even though I don't often tell them in as many words. Every text message/phone call/skype is a thought from your kids to you. xxx

Thank you Lilt,
I hope you are enjoying your time with your parents at the moment. Are you a closet Taylor swift fan too? My DD loves her to bits and got to see her a few months back! Hadn't bought tickets but some friends of hers ended up with a spare ticket the day before her concert, and they knew she was a big fan. Ended up we got ticket at half price cos hubby volunteered to drive them and wait around while they were in the concert and then bring them home. He does nice things sometimes


Hugs back
xx

NoOneAround

Puzzcat wrote: »

I'm sure they are just standard computerised letters but give SC a ring (they are open today...!) just to double check then you can file them away and put back on your happy head...!


Puzz. x

Thanks Puzz .....you read between the lines and saw my reluctance to deal with it didn't you!!!! I know they were open yesterday as is typical chose to delay the phone call. and haven't done so this morning either - am busy with displacement activities like washing (needs must!) fragile silly wotsit that I am !
xx

NoOneAround

supersaver1000 wrote: »

Sending hugs NOA. Stay strong. :T:):T

Thank You SS1K , am trying hard. Sometimes just need to do the avoidance head in the sand stuff to get it out of my system (and onto here!) while there is no one around. Then I can keep my calm hat on when DH and DS are home.
xx
NOA

NoOneAround

grannyx2 wrote: »

As an experienced self managed DMPer, I would just like to say don't worry about these letters or the threats they contain. You will get a variety of computer generated letters but as long as you stick to the agreed repayment plan and contact them when they tell you it's time for a review, it's safe to ignore any others.

As to the defaults, you are just 6 years from these debts being wiped from your credit file. PMA is all that's required to turn this into a positive

Granny x

Thank You, that really does put it into perspective, considering how quickly the last 19 years have gone it will go by in a flash.


I know about PMS but not "PMA"?:rotfl:sorry - its probably something really obvious but try as I might it hasn't clicked
xx NOA

NoOneAround

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

Please dont worry NoOne. These letters are standard run of the mill letters they will send to you. As Granny and others have said just carry on with the repayment plan that you have agreed. In my opinion you need to do nothing further for now, but if a call to StepChange puts your mind at ease , then have a chat with them. These predators love to send letters designed to upset, worry or scare you. I do think you become pretty much immune after a while.

Save them up in a nice pile, then when you have some time wallpaper the toilet with them, that's all they are good for !

As for the call from your friend, I think that's a fab idea and I think I will join you this evening in putting tea lights in the window . A little bit of health, wealth and prosperity wouldn't go a miss in the PG Household today

Loved your analogy re the LBM, you do make me laugh !! :rotfl:xx

Thanks Mrs PG, actually the toilet does need decorating, what a great MSE idea. :rotfl:Couldn't let anybody but me and DH use It though because then everybody would know our "secret":eek: so I guess I haven't quite got there yet as am still embarrassed about our situation:(


Am making myself a promise that if (sorry when) I get through this I will help at one of the debt charities and keep on these boards to help others like everyone is helping me


Lit my candles last night, lovely to see them reflected and flickering in the glass. It was very therapeutic.
xx
NOA

NoOneAround

Igamogam wrote: »

I saved coppers in an oversized whiskey bottle.........for years! I wasn't too obsessed about it but when it was half full I was almost tempted to empty it but decided to have a concerted effort to fill it - took us about 18 months more and we were positively evangelical about it! Emptied it in May 2012 and counted over £50! We found half p's at the bottom which the DDs found very amusing and couldn't believe such things ever existed. Have now started again and am about 3 inches up the side of the bottle:rotfl:

Hi Igamogam:)

Half pences !!!!! I need to tell my two about those - I don't think they will know about half pences though in the foreign change I did find lira and marks and francs. Amazing total and what a nice surprise at the end of it all :T
xx NOA

NoOneAround

Brogden wrote: »

Good Mornin' Sweetie

You will feel better in no time.....get those candles in the window and let them represent your LBM :T

At least you're not doing what I did when the default letters came through.....paying money I didn't have to try to put off the inevitable. Because I caught up or part caught up and then fell behind again I received a few of these on each credit card......they don't actually default you until they terminate the agreement - no doubt the letters you have received are just the bank being as nasty as they can be and trying to worry people as much as possible.

You know what you are doing and you are not going to let them bring you down are you?

Brogden x

Hey Brogden,
NO I am not going to let them do that, and that is with thanks to everyone here:) I let it bother me a lot for a few hours yesterday, have not told DH as he tends to freak out and go all miserable on me, and he is actually being OK at the moment. So I kept it all to myself yesterday, what a silly thing to say, I didn't keep it to myself I shared it with you all:D (a burden shared is a burden halved or quartered or tenthed :rotfl:)


Both accounts have just terminated so defaulted as they have had tokens between £1 and 5 pro rata) It still scares me though. And I didn't sleep last night, other than snoozing through Night at the Museum which I said I would "watch" with my DS. OOPs.


So fell asleep for a few minutes at a time through the night then ended up reading , so have finished 1st book of Game of thrones :T Feeling like you know what now and no work done other than domestic
xx
NOA

hohum

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

Please dont worry NoOne. These letters are standard run of the mill letters they will send to you. As Granny and others have said just carry on with the repayment plan that you have agreed. In my opinion you need to do nothing further for now, but if a call to StepChange puts your mind at ease , then have a chat with them. These predators love to send letters designed to upset, worry or scare you. I do think you become pretty much immune after a while.

Save them up in a nice pile, then when you have some time wallpaper the toilet with them, that's all they are good for !

As for the call from your friend, I think that's a fab idea and I think I will join you this evening in putting tea lights in the window . A little bit of health, wealth and prosperity wouldn't go a miss in the PG Household today

Loved your analogy re the LBM, you do make me laugh !! :rotfl:xx

This is so true. I once temped in a large local authority dept that dealt with housing. because of bad admin in tenancy handovers and the frankly insane way that utilities handle debts (just throw out random letters to anyone vaguely associated with the property) I ended up dealing with collections and debt collectors rather a lot. No-one knew how to deal with them so they often ended up at our dept.

Anyway, when you are absolutely secure in the non liability for a debt and also are a temp you start to see what nonsense they go for. I had one go for the heavy approach 'we will start court proceedings' etc over a debt that was addressed to an occupier/ the local authority c/o tenanted property. I positively invited her to take said local authority to court and issue a CCJ, I would be very interested to see how they would collect money on that debt (which actually didn't exist as was based on wildly estimated meter reads). They weren't going to go to court, she wanted to scare me into paying up and that was her script.

other debt collector comedy was trying to insist as a landlord we were responsible for the estate of a tenant (I think that's a no, nice try friend). Anyway. They shout and they yell but provided you follow commonsense rules/ as instructed by Stepchange ain't very little they can do on consumer debt in a DMP.

Mini digression:
All time comedy prize in the utilities department goes to British Gas. Not only did they try to bill a tenant for the landlord supply in a block of flats, they had wildly estimated for so many years (basing it on a normal domestic supply instead of a landing light for some reason) that when they got a meter reading, it spun the meter round the clock, creating a bill of £100,000 (to be read in the manner of Dr evil). It was of course, still incorrectly addressed but fortunately came to me before the tenant got it otherwise they would have had a heart attack! The actual bill was about £50.

They also sent us collection letter for supply a building which was derelict and as far as I could tell the only connection with the local authority was that they operated the building on the opposite side of the street... Crazy.

Twopints

NoOneAround wrote: »

I know about PMS but not "PMA"?:rotfl:sorry - its probably something really obvious but try as I might it hasn't clicked
xx NOA

PMA = Positive Mental Attitude :beer:

grannyx2

Seeing the post re whiskey bottle, I used to fill mine up with 20ps. I'd been told that it would take £1,000 to fill.

I stuck the lid with super glue so it couldn't be raided and kept it at the bottom of my airing cupboard.

DS somehow found out how to get into it and helped himself to about £10 worth, treating himself & friends to a summer 'midnight style' feast.

I eventually emptied it in 2007 when things got bad enough to have a mini LBM but can't recall how full it was.

Now I have 3 money boxes, plus a little one each for DGC. Each of my boxes contain the following, one coppers, one 20ps and one 5 & 10ps. I have no idea how much is in them but will raid them before I go to Oz.

I'm sorry you are stressing about the letters NOA but please be reassured, it does get easier the more experienced you become x

Granny x