Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

PennySaving

Hi, that is excellent news! Well done you! Positive mental attitude and all that! Have a fab weekend!

NoOneAround

PennySaving wrote: »

Hi, that is excellent news! Well done you! Positive mental attitude and all that! Have a fab weekend!

Thanks PennySaving and Briz:)


anyone know how to put multiple quotes into one post - have seen it done elsewhere - saves paper:D
x

Puzzcat

To multi quote you use the double bubble icon next to the quote button.

Puzzcat

NoOneAround wrote: »

Thanks PennySaving and Briz:)


anyone know how to put multiple quotes into one post - have seen it done elsewhere - saves paper:D
x

Puzzcat wrote: »

To multi quote you use the double bubble icon next to the quote button.

And you get this..

NoOneAround

Puzzcat wrote: »

To multi quote you use the double bubble icon next to the quote button.

:wall:
Thanks Puzz, It only just says multiquote when you hover over it:D I'm so busy letting all my thoughts flood out am not actually using my brain !!!!!

debtfreewannabe321

Hi NOA! Thought I would come and find you Well done on the new job! :j

My eldest son was in boarding school for 3 years so I understand your predicament with not wanting to take your son out. My eldest son left through his own choice as he was unhappy with the boarding aspect of it. HOWEVER, once he moved to the local comp it was a bit of a reality shock to him, he'd led a very sheltered life in the boarding school, secluded in a lovely school, in huge grounds on a famous cliff and coming back down to earth in the local failing comp (which closed shortly after he arrived so he had to move again!!) really was hard for him. They didn't play rugby which upset him more than the fact they didn't do some of his subjects :wall: but he did settle eventually. SC were great when I told them we were paying school fees and like they said to you there are a lot of people in the same boat. Our school fees were no where near yours though, my DH is in the forces and we had 90% off the fees. It was cheaper to send him there than have him at home eating me out of food :rotfl: I know how hard it is though, I paid for his prep school fees for years on my CC :(

I have flicked through your diary and now can't remember if you ever sorted out the life insurances? They seemed particularly high to me. Even DH in his job only pays £47 a month (and I thought that was extortionate :rotfl:)

I love the fact you've become perkier as your posts have gone along, a sure sign the shock is over and you're settling into the debt-busting ways . I also recommend YNAB if you haven't got a budgeting tool yet...also for your DD at uni. I believe they were doing it free for students too (http://www.youneedabudget.com/blog/2014/ynab-is-now-free-for-college-students/) I don't know if anyone ever used my referral code but if they didn't that's $6 dollars off for you if you want it!

*subscribed* xx

Brogden

Hi NOA

I hope you are having a good weekend!


You mentioned a problem with the minimum payments for Step Change. I forgot about this and I dwelled on this issue a good while ago before falling into ‘self managed.’ I am so happy that you’re feeling much better than you were but I’ll bet you could be even more happy if you got on with self managed. You can always go to Step Change in the future if you need to.

• Get the Income and Expenditure form from the CAB website
• Complete it giving yourself ample wiggle room – be generous to yourself
• Pro-rata the surplus monthly income figure for each predator in proportion to the size of each debt to arrive at a little chunk of money for each one.
• Send the form with a letter advising each predator of your financial concerns, offering that payment and ask for their acceptance.

There you have it – a ‘Self Managed DMP.’ It absolutely does not matter if the calculated pro-rata payments are 93p for this one £1.27 for that one……if its backed up with an I&E form I promise they will all accept it. Set up the standing orders now – don’t wait for them to say ‘yes.’

What to do with the cc you wish to keep? I would include the balance in the pro-rata calculation so you are acknowledging the cards existence but pay the card what you want…..it is unlikely it will be picked up.

You are then following DMP principles with an attractive touch of decadence....... :rotfl:

You feel so much more sorted out.

Brogden

hazeldreams

Hi NoOneAround, I hope its ok that I subscribe and follow your journey? I've just sat and read the first 6 pages, you're right our debt levels are really similar...its strangely reassuring not to be alone! I can identify with so many of your feelings about your children's education - I was privately educated (however I know I'd have done just as well at state school) but for some reason I feel incredible guilt that I cannot afford to send my own children to private school even though the school they are at is marvellous! As a result I'm struggling to pay £150 per month in tutor costs to make me feel better. Neither of them even need the extra help...but even as I write this I still cant even think about cancelling the tutor - so very irrational! Any how thought I'd drop by and subscribe...looking forward to following your journey..

liltdiddylilt

Whew. It's taken me the best part of 2 days to get through your diary, but that is what a 2 year old, batch cooking, and.. well life around MSE will do to you!!

Having read it in that space of time, can I just say you sound so much more together over the last few pages than you did at the beginning. Definitely the stunned and bewildered bunny in the headlights moment is behind you.

Lovely to see your sig already showing signs you're fighting back. I am really impressed with that considering your income and outgoings!!

As for the school fees, I would walk through fire to make sure that my daughter has everything she needs thought not everything she would want. Obviously your son is getting a fantastic education, is settled, has friends and is thriving in the environment there. He has a lot of stress going on around him at home, which is not your fault or his, so school is probably a bit of a haven. Reassure him that you are doing everything you can to make sure he doesn't suffer currently, and that it doesn't mean that you are being negatively affected elsewhere. Lighten a possible load on his young shoulders, and on your own. You are a fantastic parent, putting your kids before yourself and you remind me of my mum in the way you are battling to make sure you do as much for your kids needs as you can. Give yourself a break.

Also, CONGRATULATIONS on the marking job!! That wage per hour is fabulous and I hope that the marking comes in thick and fast and gives you some breathing space!

Now, you've had your LBM, but I am not quite sure you have fully come to terms with it yet. Call SC, get your facts written down in a specific notepad, and start to make a plan. Brogden has some fab advice up there ref going it on your own. She is very right in that you will feel much better once you are in control, and you will no longer dread opening the post.

Finally, haven't heard OH mentioned in a little while. Take it he is still ignoring things? Money is the number 1 reason for break-ups and divorces, with children right up there too. You've got through the kids and I hope you can get through this too. Keep your chin up. You're a strong woman.

Lots of love, and thanks for the kind words on my diary xx

TizerCat

Well done NOA on the job and the extra work at school...things are definitely on the up! You sound more in control too :-)

TC x