Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

Cherryfudge

The flowers sound lovely - my parents loved flowers too and I get a lot of happiness from having inherited their taste!

I'm glad you don't have to worry about a visit from Mum. She sounds very energetic! I know what you mean about ending up working to her agenda rather than the other way around because I know people who are like that, too. My mum was the opposite: her health didn't allow her to be energetic and she would much rather people spent time with her but that was frustrating when there were practical things we really needed to do.

People seem to experience loss of a parent in different ways, I don't know if we can ever automatically understand how others feel. Does your Mum know you and your sisters would like to keep some of your Dad's things? And will there be an opportunity to get together to distribute some of them? In the meantime maybe you could take photos so you can revisit them.

Hope today is productive. Even just taking out the forms and looking at them yesterday will have done some of the probate work because it will help you launch in once you have time.

NoOneAround

Just popping by with a cuppa between plodding on

1) Its brightened up and washing is out after all , 2nd load in.
2) Mail is sorted and binned or filed
3) Quote typed up for new client, ready to post at school pick up time, fingers crossed, need it to come off to keep pipeline of work flowing.
4)Chased up non delivery of essential office supplies - only received part order waiting to hear.
5) 30 mins on voluntary work admin - going to keep on top of this now I have caught up.
6) Bit of a hitch with mum's energy transfer - one of the readings doesn't appear to be registering - will check again in a couple of days.
7) Cleared table of gradual build up - new cloth on ready for DS birthday tonight - nothing fancy we'll go out for a meal on Friday I let him fill the trolley yesterday - we'll all be on a sugar high tonight!
Not as productive as wanted to be but progress, lots of essential bits done.

Cherry Mum does know, bt she finds it very frustrating. There are lots of books Dad collected but couldn't see enough to read for the last few years. Loads of keepsakes, old letters, I found his old school results slips, silver jubilee street party bits and certificates for us, I could go on and on. It all tells a beautiful story. It feels like it should be kept together. Not an issue at the moment. None of us even want to talk about it yet, we just know we want to keep. I also have in mind (big project! to get all photos organised and scanned so that we all have all of them. Wish money/work weren't a problem - they get in the way of what I want to be doing (along with perhaps 99% of the population!).
Hey Ho, back to plodding....
NOA
x

Cherryfudge

I'm guessing no one has the room to find a holding space for all the memories and treasures? We have a similar problem... except without the Silver Jubilee stuff. Mum made me dress up in fancy dress for the street parade and as I was 14, you can imagine the indignation!

I hope the new client likes their quote.

NoOneAround

:rotfl: luckily no photos of me, I missed it as suspected german measles which amounted to nothing was soooo disappointed - but i was at primary school still and no clue about fashion! they still gave me the certificate and sisters brought back a goodie bag for me:)

I do have room, but at the moment it feels right to leave it there? probably doesn't make any sense to anyone else. Also feel
I need to make a suitable space first - feels wrong to box up and put in loft at the moment.

Oops - school pick up time - must dash
x

NoOneAround

Its a go slow sort of day but I have managed to contact close (local) friends that I haven't seen for best part of 3 years (and have felt very guilty about) and invited them out tonight when we go for DS birthday meal tonight - They were thrilled to hear from me, and accepted straight away - hope its broken the ice (which is all in my head) to try and start socialising a bit more. I have ordered and received by email vouchers to pay for the food (£100) - :money: They were (are) really close friends and I feel better already for having done this have felt so guilty for so long.

Have a great weekend everyone, It's meant to be a warm one
NOA
x

redofromstart

I am impressed - I find it really hard to break the ice like that, and of course the longer it goes on the harder it gets. I hope you have a lovely time.

NoOneAround

Morning All

Thank Redo, I did do a post during the week late one night but our snailmail broadband died and I lost it We did have a lovely time, and it was good to make that connection again, will now try and maintain
Flying visit as I have a lot to get done this weekend. Busy busy week at part time job so out much of the time, luckily in a bit of a lull with SE work waiting for things to come back.
We also got invited by a parent at school whose son gets on well with mine, for family dinner - it was hard to avoid - I got so worked up about it during the week, but it ended up being very pleasant, but now I feel under pressure to invite back and I don't feel ready - always bit more formal when its building new friendships? and I have got out of the habit.

Back later tonight hopefully
NOA
x

brizzledfw

Just catching up NOA - new relationships can be tricky and yes take effort. But are probably worth it. You can keep the return dinner simple and frugal. Can PM you some ideas if necessary.

Have a great weekend x

Cherryfudge

It really sounds as though you're rushed off your feet at the moment so perhaps you could say so to your new friend and add that once things calm down, it would be nice if they could come round to yours for tea. That would buy you time, and to extend the gap why not suggest going for a coffee around school run time (just so long as it doesn't become an expensive habit!).

brizzledfw

Hope you've had a good week x