Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

NoOneAround

brizzledfw wrote: »

Just catching up NOA - new relationships can be tricky and yes take effort. But are probably worth it. You can keep the return dinner simple and frugal. Can PM you some ideas if necessary.

Have a great weekend x

Hi Brizzle, Just a flying visit again. Thanks that's really kind -always nice to get new ideas! I know you are busy though so no immediate rush.
Work v busy plus hectic weekend with lots of driving - over 12 hrs
will update during week.
Hope all good your end
xx
NOA

NoOneAround

Cherryfudge wrote: »

It really sounds as though you're rushed off your feet at the moment so perhaps you could say so to your new friend and add that once things calm down, it would be nice if they could come round to yours for tea. That would buy you time, and to extend the gap why not suggest going for a coffee around school run time (just so long as it doesn't become an expensive habit!).

Hi Cheery
That's a good idea too, as she works near school anyway will try that, I can put it off at least a month as we have a month of family birthdays coming up .....
Hope all well with you.
NOA
x

Cherryfudge

NoOneAround wrote: »

Hi Cheery
That's a good idea too, as she works near school anyway will try that, I can put it off at least a month as we have a month of family birthdays coming up .....
Hope all well with you.
NOA
x

I'm busy as ever NOA, but I'm fine thanks. Family birthday have their uses.

Look after yourself.

NoOneAround

Good morning
Trouble with being out of habit of posting is that you lose track and I don't know where to start.
Everything is ticking over slowly and time is flying by. Part time job has been full on, with SE work interspersed evenings and weekends.
This is my first day of fin ages, and work wise it is a reasonably quiet week, which gives me time to catch up on everything that's been neglected.
Took Mum to a wedding she needed to go to many miles away, which took up whole weekend. She ended up staying overnight with us so I could break up the driving. It was only overnight and it went OK because we were all so tired, I managed not to have a major meltdown, just avoided talking about Dad. She did mention in conversation about various jobs in the garden and at home. She doesn't do it in a mean way - she just does not realize how sensitive I am to it. I managed to keep my responses light and not get worked up about it. eg the loose slab on step that needs repairing (from over 2 years ago), the weeds in the gutters that need clearing, the pile of leaves on patio/garden), though I did say casually that I'm never home to do or to arrange for those things to be done, and she agreed. Maybe it was a good thing for her to see, but it feels mean to be thinking that.

Was at home this weekend just gone though. Saturday was voluntary work in the morning, taxi-ing for DS, and washing, then sleeping through film I wanted to watch in the evening, followed by a full 6 hours sleep in bed (unheard of!). Sunday was a cold but beautiful day and I spent 4 hours pottering in the garden doing a few little jobs, not much achieved in the grand scheme of things except the peace of being outside.

SE work has been ticking over very nicely with a steady cashflow this year, quietening down a bit now Bank balance has been looking good but only until January when tax will all go out. Because I haven't had to juggle to much, I have lost track a bit of where we are, though there are some major purchases in the pipeline eg my car is very old and uneconomical, and DD needs an upgrade as she is commuting.

We continue to be frugal with spending - to the point that when I called a creditor to give update a couple of weeks ago, (I pay them £5 a month) she asked twice if we were doing OK and if the payment was affordable , as she said that the figure in our budget for food and groceries was lower than average for a household of our size! I am still using the figures StepChange worked out for my budget 3 years ago. Hmmm.

On health front ticking along but never really feel good. Very frustrated. Don't really expect that to change until all commitments change and I can find more time to actually rest.

On family front DS is well settled into A levels, DD into her MA. Lovely to have DD at home, she is very much becoming my best friend. I have been very good and try and act as if she is not really living at home so that she can be independent. DS is very loving but I feel a bit dissociated from at the moment - he doesn't talk much, so a bit sad about that. Just a phase I guess - teen boy.

Wow, that was a long ramble, Sorry ....but my brain feels shed loads lighter :rotfl::rotfl:
Have a lovely Day
NOA
x

Cherryfudge

It was probably positive that your Mum has now been to your house and you managed to make the point about not being there to see to little jobs that want doing. Well done for keeping your cool!

How lovely to have your DD at home and be on such good terms. Treasure it. DSes can be harder to be close to. I'm not sure why but there's that stereotype about girls being more able to talk about their emotions and in my experience that's true. Perhaps doing things together is a key there, but it's so hard to make that happen.

It sounds as though you could index link the budget StepChange gave you? Of course that only works if income is also index linked but maybe there's a compromise to be reached especially while SE is doing well. Anyway, good to have you back, hope your day goes well.

NoOneAround

Today' achievements

1) Posted in my diary
2) Went for overdue blood test
3) Received reminder letter for annual drs review, went back to hospital for another blood test :mad:but a least its done, made follow up appts.
4) Went to local NT for coffee and cake with DD before she left for seminar, bought gift to take when I go to see friend in hospital who has just had surgery - haven't seen her for over 6-7 years, thought I would surprise her
5) Two loads washing done, but it was too cold and damp outside to line dry, on airer in bathroom waiting for heating to come on tonight.
6) DD changed for payment for debt that has just changed hands.
7) Car booked in for check up as there has been an intermittent knocking sound going over bumps
8) Quote typed up, need to revise before sending out tomorrow.

So, A few bits and pieces done, nothing major but at least some things ticked off.

Cherry, Thanks Finding things of common interest very tricky with DS. That's a good idea re: index linking, I do need to sit and review my I and E budget that I send for creditor updates.

NOA
x

NoOneAround

Hello
Me again, trying to get back into habit of posting regularly to keep track

Today's achievements:-
1) Morning at part time job.
2) visited friend in hospital - she was Surprised at my out of the blue visit - she's had major surgery. Another friendship rekindled after 6 years - so I will claim lots of points for taking the plunge.
3) Went into city centre - looked at dishwashers and freezer - will order online after checking TCB site
4) Had to park miles away for 3 and 2, forget to take my pedometer but reckon approached 12000 steps today. Feet and ankles very achy but am very pleased with myself:beer: apart from the fact that I sneaked in a big snickers bar in the car afterwards:o

No housework or SE done, on list for tomorrow.

Will try and get an early night.
Hope everyone has had a good day.
NOA
x

NoOneAround

Major tackle on probate/tax form today. Just set up spreadsheet to summarise it all to get it straight in my head, filling in form should be relatively simply once that's done and checked through

NOA
x

Cherryfudge

Great progress! It must have meant a lot to your friend that you went to see her, and now hopefully will be able to meet up more often.

Well done for putting the probate data on a spreadsheet: it will feel better once it's all together. Keep chipping away at it a bit longer and it will all be behind you.

System

Sounds like you are getting lots done . DS is probably just at that age , he will come round when he is ready .

Lots of walking as well all good. Plus back posting is great.