Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

redofromstart

And a sack full from me too...

brizzledfw

Have a good weeek NOA (maybe with less receipt filing this time..but it is very satisfying getting everything in order )

NoOneAround

Cherryfudge wrote: »

You mean piles don't count as a filing system? :eek:

Okay, the very big sack about to arrive on your doorstep is instalment number one from me. :rotfl:

Do you set a timer to keep moving or anything? My F!tbit alerts me if I haven't got 250 steps in during the hour (I often ignore it but it hasn't got the hint).

Morning Cherry,
I don't set a timer, but I am pretty good at getting up and moving when working at home - house is quite big - I can do 3-4k steps just pottering (office is at opposite end to kitchen/loo!), going upstairs to bedroom to get a jumper= 120 steps each way, get a drink - 50 there and 50 back. goint to get a mars bar = minus 1000 steps :rotfl:
Have a good day
NOA
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NoOneAround

redofromstart wrote: »

And a sack full from me too...

Thanks You? Goodness Me, I think I've started something here :rotfl:
will swap for some fruit slices
NOA
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NoOneAround

brizzledfw wrote: »

Have a good weeek NOA (maybe with less receipt filing this time..but it is very satisfying getting everything in order )

Thank you Brizzle
the filing should make for an easier time doing the VAT return this week
Am very envious you managed to get your accounts done already!
Hope you have a good week too
NOA
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NoOneAround

Another long day at home doing tedious stuff. I am now almost up to date with my voluntary work admin maybe another 2-3 hours tomorrow then I'll be able to submit paperwork to treasurer in good time for agm.

Will start VAT tomorrow.
Extra unforeseen spend of nearly £60 for new battery for mower.
More trips to pay for for DS and termly music bill too, so big chunks leaving account at the moment.
Didn't get round to doing creditor letter. First on list for tomorrow.

Off to bed now
NOA
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NoOneAround

Morning all
Achievements (on top of ongoing tedious stuff) this week

1)Finished VAT accounts yesterday Just need to pay and do form online by tomorrow (about 10 mins work - left because I want to check through when less tired before submitting).
2)Made Drs apt which I'd put off for 3-4 weeks.
3) Mums bills switch over is in progress.
4) looked at savings accounts but nothing flexible that pays anything significant DD has some money that should be somewhere other than her current - trying to decide whether she should put it in the help to buy, but she might need it? she's saving on rent by commuting to uni on days she has seminars, but has got her summer job savings and student loan sitting in bank.
5) plus usual domestics, have finally reduced washing/ironing piles down to current week!

DS birthday next week. I am stressing about whether to bring mum come and stay a few days. House is still chaos (my efforts will need to be ongoing and consistent over months to make a dent:() and I feel like I don't want her to see how things have slipped at home (she has not been to ours since Christmas nearly 2 years ago). It will also be the first time she'll have been since we lost Dad and I 'm dreading it because of that too. The reason its all so bad is because all our spare time has been spent on making sure all was/is ok at parent's house (kitchen refit bathroom refit, carpets redone, furniture chosen purchased etc) all major jobs. I feel embarrassed as to her I portray myself as being in control. I am waffling now and can't really see where this is leading, can't work out if I'm trying to convince myself not toask to to come for a few days. If I don't I am just putting it off.

Perhaps some more filing/shredding therapy is due:D
A bright but blustery day here, not sure whether to risk a bit of lopping...perhaps not a good idea just before my physio appt.

Have a lovely day
NOA
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NoOneAround

Good morning
Another few days flown by in a haze.
Trying to remember what I've done!

1) VAT from was submitted and payment made.
2) Voluntary work admin - all finished and up to date for first time since beginning of year.
3) Called creditor needing update, and spoke to a lovely old school
gentleman who spoke so politely and cheerfully and with respect, who actually cheered up my day no end! I'd call to give updates daily just to get my ration of Happy If they were all like that:rotfl:
4) Voluntary work Saturday morning, then drove down to see mum and stayed overnight. Caught up with her letters etc,
5) Shopping on Sunday to big centre near there. Managed to get long overdue essential shopping done for DS and DH and also managed to find some bargains in their 60%+ sale) - I often don't have patience to look through masses of rails but Mum enjoyed it and found me 6 things for me and DD. DD liked but hasn't tried on yet for size, my three things were fine:) all@ Mr&Spk
Lovely teal knitted top for me £5
Floral summer top v pretty for me £4.50
Chino trousers for me £3.60:rotfl:
Dress for DD gorgeous summer/lined £8 - didn't have my size
Vest T shirt for DD 75p :rotfl:
sports zipped hoodie in lovely summer aqua sky blue for DD £7.50

:T:T:T Then £170 in shirts and suit trousers for the boys
But did manage to get 3 ties in sale, plain one for £2.75 (was 10), a smart stripy one for £5 (was £18) and a lush silk one for £8 (was 30). DS bagsied them all as he has to wear a suit a 6th form - poor DH didn't get a look in!

Also did big grocery shop with mum, but other than that we just kept each other company, so it was quite nice and calm.

Got back late Sunday night. DH had finally managed to do grass now that mower back up and running, while I was away, as Ds had hurt his ankle in Rugby on Saturday.
Yesterday was catch up day on domestics, but was pretty tired, so didn't manage as much as I needed to, also had parents evening.
Quiet this morning so grabbed opportunity to post before I start on trying to complete probate forms which I started many months ago, but never feel up to doing emotionally. Aim is to get them sent of this week.

Have a lovely day
NOA

Cherryfudge

That sounds a very bargainaceous shopping trip! How gratifying. Love it when I find nice stuff in the sales, though I can't buy for my family... would love to see their faces if given a choice between me singing karaoke and them having to wear things I'd bought for them! :rotfl:

Lots of (virtual) tea and hugs over facing the probate forms. Can you break the task into mini tasks at all? Even if at the scale of micromanaging, each bit you do is a step nearer getting it all out of the way. I am exactly the same with dealing with Mum's possessions: there is still a box full at the nursing home but that will mean several trips as I have neither a car to transport them nor room to put them here. And I just keep avoiding it completely.

With regard to asking your Mum over: it's clearly something that would be hard for you but that you may have to face up to at some point. If you decide to go for it now, could you preface your invitation with 'the place is a terrible mess at the moment but...' and play up the awfulness so she will be pleasantly surprised? Or invite her with a hopeful 'I know how good you are at sorting the kitchen cupboards/deep cleaning the bathroom/weeding the garden' - if she's that kind of person?

While you say you will need to work for months to make a dent, it's surprising how carefully targeted clearing/cleaning can improve a house. Put all the laundry under a large towel, make the beds, hoover the middles of the floors, have one clear shiny surface facing the entry to each room, add some flowers or fairy lights, etc. Maybe do some of those things for yourself, even if you don't do it for a visitor - and when your Mum does visit, she will probably notice the new things and that will lighten the moment.

It seems we are in much the same situation NOA. Dealing with a loss has so many implications and the sheer hard work is one that can run and run. I'm aware I keep pushing myself and sometimes a couple of days off makes a huge difference, so if you can build 'not dealing with Mum-stuff' time into your week (fortnight/month) it will really help you.

Cheering you on for those forms, I will try to make some progress here too.

Meanwhile: :coffee::coffee:

NoOneAround

Morning All, very grey drizzly day here, no pegging out today:( should have done the washing yesterday. But DD and I did go for a lovely walk in local NT place - it was beautiful, trees just turning, warm enough not to need a coat.

Hey Cherry, hope you had a good and much need holiday thanks for posting and the hugs and coffee, yes it seems we are much in the same place. I never realised the depth of emotion one would feel at the loss of a parent. I had helped/listened to friends in the past who had been through this, felt so sad for them but never actually understood. Not everyone understands where I'm at.

My buying for family isn't has brave as it sounds - work/school shirts are exactly that - same size same multi packs, white or blue, kept waiting for discount offer but one never comes for essentials :rotfl: Like wise with suit trousers - DS had already chosen suit and is wearing it, this was the second pair of trousers to go with it, so no risk involved! The three items for DD were risky but I can return within 14 days. But it turns out she adores the dress, fits perfectly and can dress down or up. If she didn't want it I had planned to chop of top and make it into a skirt for me She is ok with the vest top (for slouching at home, it was 75p so I could use it for dusting if nothing else:rotfl:) The hoodie top fitted but she doesn't like so that will go back. 2/3 isn't bad so success all round :T

Probate stuff - have done bits and pieces in a very bitty way over months, just need to have a push to bring it all together in an official way. I think I probably have all the info, bits of the forms are completed, Just find it very upsetting. I find its the same when I go to see Mum- she just wants to clear out and dump stuff, but there is a lot of things that I/my sisters might want to keep, quite tricky to manage. She's there and wants change, we are away and want things to stay the same, or at least retain some of those things so treasured by Dad, too much to explain.

Mum coming over solved it self for the time being, I asked if she wanted to come and stay for a few days while I was there at the weekend, she declined because she volunteers and one of the team are away for a month so she is needed. So relieved:D.
Mum never sits still, she would want to help me do everything, but she also doesn't know when to stop. One time she start cleaning the windows here despite my pleas not to start, because I couldn't help her -I had SE work to do. She went ahead anyway, and didn't stop after a few, she carried on, and the did her back/shoulder in. :mad: She doesn't know how to pace herself. She is very well meaning and wants to help, but you end up working to her agenda rather than your own! It's given me a breather to do a bit more, a bit at a time. Just tired of it all.

Flowers are my thing. I have been buying regularly - £5-6 every 7-10 days is my guilty pleasure, on dining table messy or not, because that room is in the middle of the house and you have to pass it whereever you go in the house. On one year anniversary of losing Dad I spent £25 on roses. They were beautiful the brightest I could find that day and lasted 2 and a half weeks.

I didn't do the forms again yesterday, apart from taking all the paperwork out and looking through it, but I have left it out to tackle this week, as from next week I have 3 weeks full time work at part time job so it will get hectic again.

I best get productive, this was meant to be a quick post
NOA
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