Spent 4 years pretending it's all OK

Moneyfordreams

Anxiety is probably increased by your poor sleeping patterns, but I'm sure you a ready know that. I considered counselling for me Few years ago and decided against it. I felt quite sad after many different changes.

Your bereavement is still so recent, you have many firsts ahead of you... allow yourself to be sad. Your mum and your siblings will be feeling their grief, and provide support for each other, but they aren't living your life and stressors. Your quiet days are healing days, raking the garden sounds lovely .

I tend to put things in boxes in my mind, ( beechy Colclough gmtv years ago) and I look at them when I feel strong. When my work was super stressful I found scoring the day, one thing wasn't going to tip my whole experience so 4/5.

Just looking back in the few years of your diary, your children are growing beautifully, money is money, but there are so many positives to take and gain strength from.

brizzledfw

Lovely words MfD.. :j - TOTALLY totally seconded

Thanks NOA...I have just submitted it. Account will be broke on 10/02 but ho hum, its gotta be paid.

Have a lovely day in the sun, its grey here but going for a walk this afternoon anyway. Off to the hospital first to take part in a lay person panel so that'll be different to usual 'routine' (although even using that word makes me chortle as my life is never routine ), haven't done it for ages and always interesting.

Over and out xx

Igamogam

NoOneAround wrote: »

It has brightened up no end, theres a big yellow circle in the bluest of skies just like in primary school pictures, and I'm off outside ...........

xx

The greyest of grey of greyest grey dismal days here....reflects mood here too:(

Bobarella

NOA 4 hours per night or less is not much at all. I'm so sorry. Has your GP given you anything to help? Have you tried Kalms and those kind of non medical pills? I'm sure you have already.

It's good your daughter can come home for your husband's birthday.How lovely.

Bob

NoOneAround

Moneyfordreams wrote: »

Anxiety is probably increased by your poor sleeping patterns, but I'm sure you a ready know that. I considered counselling for me Few years ago and decided against it. I felt quite sad after many different changes.

Your bereavement is still so recent, you have many firsts ahead of you... allow yourself to be sad. Your mum and your siblings will be feeling their grief, and provide support for each other, but they aren't living your life and stressors. Your quiet days are healing days, raking the garden sounds lovely .

I tend to put things in boxes in my mind, ( beechy Colclough gmtv years ago) and I look at them when I feel strong. When my work was super stressful I found scoring the day, one thing wasn't going to tip my whole experience so 4/5.

Just looking back in the few years of your diary, your children are growing beautifully, money is money, but there are so many positives to take and gain strength from.

Thank you for your lovely words Moneyfordreams. :ABoxing things and scoring the day is a really good idea, sometimes its so hard to remember the good. At the moment I'm finding that so hard as the last couple of years were particularly hard for dad, and those are our most recent memories.
I know so many people here have been through loss themselves, and knowing that people understand also gives great comfort/strength.

I did do a little raking, but mostly just was outside with my thoughts.
NOA
x

NoOneAround

brizzledfw wrote: »

Lovely words MfD.. :j - TOTALLY totally seconded

Thanks NOA...I have just submitted it. Account will be broke on 10/02 but ho hum, its gotta be paid.

Have a lovely day in the sun, its grey here but going for a walk this afternoon anyway. Off to the hospital first to take part in a lay person panel so that'll be different to usual 'routine' (although even using that word makes me chortle as my life is never routine ), haven't done it for ages and always interesting.

Over and out xx

Morning Brizzle, and thank you:) Just about to do mine, totally managed to avoid it at the weekend. Paid tax last week and VAT will be today so accounts will look very sad tomorrow. I hope the the panel was fun, I have been asked to do a few but have had to turn down because of part time work - can never afford to lose the money. Totally agree - your life is never routine!
NOA
x

NoOneAround

Igamogam wrote: »

The greyest of grey of greyest grey dismal days here....reflects mood here too:(

Had lots of those days here last week Igamogam.
Here's to some brightness infiltrating through the atmosphere and our moods this week.
This morning was very misty but the views across the fields were beautiful , sun is trying to break through.

NOA
x

NoOneAround

Bobarella wrote: »

NOA 4 hours per night or less is not much at all. I'm so sorry. Has your GP given you anything to help? Have you tried Kalms and those kind of non medical pills? I'm sure you have already.

It's good your daughter can come home for your husband's birthday.How lovely.

Bob

Morning Bob,
Yes have tried lots of things to little effect. P has said to go back if thngs don't improve, but to be honest it's been going on a very long time, and I suspect health issues are probably a result of accumulative sleep deprivation over 10 years plus. Don't like taking pills, though did do occasionally a year or two ago (for survival when things are really bad!), but they are not a solution.

It was lovely having DD home, DH was very surprised and pleased, we had a meal out on Saturday evening and homemade birthday cake (which DH made!). Otherwise mothing exciting, dd and ds both had a lot of work to do.
NOA
x

NoOneAround

TOdays' task list

VAT Return
Client letters
Insurance compare prices/renew
Kitchen clean
30 mins in garden

and if poss
Washing/ironing
Phone calls for mum's admin
30 mins admin for voluntary work.

brizzledfw

Good list. Reminds me that I must do one too.

Keep plodding NOA..youve got a lot on your plate and you cope magnificently