I am such an idiot! When will I learn?

judi24

Thankyou Pixie - nice to see you back! Hope the world down under is good (and a bit warmer!!) I feel so determined this time - I can't wait until I can put 'debt free' in my signature - I am so impatent and I know that has been my down fall in the past! As Ampersand (where are you??) regularly tells me ' slowly' and remember that I am in control!


I find Christmas particularly challenging - this year I have paid my CC's as planned so am limited by what's left in my bank.
Well the first CSA payment was supposed to hit my bank today - but surprise surprise it hasn't!! Just as well I didn't factor it into my budget too much (but also got a bill for D3 school trip for £83 that needs to be paid before Christmas so it would have been very helpful!)


Anyway no spending plans today so hopefully will manage one NSD this week!!!

ampersand

Hello judi - no Spits today. 80 stands fewer because of snoozebox event+flooding here means day off, but also nil-earnings or, more correctly, nil opportunity for earning.

Putah/phone.connectivity issues, now nationally known[UK notspsots:bbc and broadsheets last week]is now making this a pointless, frustrating use of much time wasted.

Will lurk when I can.

re:CSA, just report the payment failures to CSA and let them get on with chasing ex. That's not your job. Don't give it mind space.

Let any arrival of funds be an unexpected surprise.

Forward all maintenance+child-related exOH texts to CSA - also, definitely report the social networking garbage to them, whether or not it's still there.

This has taken over an hour to set down in some semblance of correctness judi - ludicrous.

re:'I find Christmas particularly challenging'- and so, you you set out to meet and beat that challenge, Let's have no more of that language of you being almost storm-tossed and leaving to luck whether or not you'll reach land safely. Of course you'll do it judi, because this is how you now are, RIGHT NOW.

So, no protests - no Buts, no What Ifs, no If It hadn't Been Fors....you now live in the minute of £££s = NO,

NO is your auto-de£ault. Just stay there and it gets easier and makes the Yes moments, treats to self, so much more special.

Considering the world we live in, no-one is at any risk and no-one loses their life because judi doesn't spend unbudgeted £££s, BUT - judi DOES lose some control of hers and some self-esteem.

Right, this has now taken over 90 minutes and I must stop, bite spend-y bullet and ring fixit man.

London this w/e - for this{to which I donated a smidgeon of OAP, hence invitation]
http://www.southwark.gov.uk/news/article/1851/long_awaited_alfred_salter_statue_set_to_be_unveiled_in_bermondsey
[Mr T vouchers for 2 o/n stay @ YHA Thameside]
Bus pass and CafÈ Rouge[also via MrT]wil feature - and FTM prize here:
http://ftmlondon.org/

You're doing very well, but don't forget to update that nsd total daily. You have to learn to mark and accept plateau times too. Daily updates add value to each new total.

girlatplay

Hi Judi

I lurk in the background but have been following your thread from the beginning.

A note re: CSA; payments have to be in (in my case) by 19th of the month. They work a month in arrears so October's payments had to be in by 19th November. They don't start chasing until the ex is a month behind so if the payment wasn't in by 19th they would start chasing then. However, that would have meant I had had no money since end of September so technically he would be two months behind.

As ampersand said, let any arrival of funds be an unexpected surprise. I don't count it in my budget, I just accept it as a bonus when it does arrive. Been doing this 5 years now and it still isn't in a routine!

You are doing really well on your journey.

gap

judi24

November NSDs 14/27

Nice to see you Ampersand was missng you!!!- sorry that you are having a few challenges too! No stall = no money = not good!!!

Yes not planning on relying on CSA money and will let them know there has been no payment - trying not to let it occupy head space but he has a nack of doing things he knows will cause me stress!

Anyway although Christmas is challenging - i have a budget and wll stick to it!

London w/e sounds great and very cultured!

Thanks for your post GAP - CSA said he opted to pay weekly (he gets paid weekly) so today should have been first payment - but I didn't expect it to arrive - will see what happens over the next few weeks - he's probably still arguing with them about the payment!

Anyway NSD today :T- and had a free lunch today at work - so very MSE!

girlatplay

judi24 wrote: »

Thanks for your post GAP - CSA said he opted to pay weekly (he gets paid weekly) so today should have been first payment - but I didn't expect it to arrive - will see what happens over the next few weeks - he's probably still arguing with them about the payment!

Yeah, I'm supposed to get mine weekly too :cool:

Butti

Ampasand

I loved practising saying No in Assertiveness Class. No reasoning, no explanation just NO.

Can I borrow a cup of sugar?
NO!

judi24

I'm not very good at saying no!!! Maybe I need your class Butti!


Got a nice surprise today £111 from my old employer - it will be ther travel expenses but I really didn't think I would get them! Nice bonus though!


A spendy day for me as its my DD1 Birthday - bought some cards and a bottle of gin from the kids to her. I am paying for her hair cut for her present tomorrow and got some of her friends coming round so got some wine and snacks. Also having takeaway for tea!!! Much cheaper than taking everyone out for dinner which is what I used to do!


Have a good weekend folks x

bizzy_lizzie

Just read your whole diary. Well done you. Amazing progress. I spoil my kids too. I can say no to all sorts of people but not so much with them. That's kind of what they are there for You will be pleased to know that youngest has adapted to organising and financing a flat share at Uni without a hiccup. Also they are well in their 20's now (damn, I am getting old) and no debts built up etc as per the scares.

pozza_73

Hi Judi,
I have been reading your thread and thoroughly enjoying it. You are doing fab It's nice to read other people's journeys and I was inspired to download YNAB although I don't really get it yet
Have you started an emergency fund yet? I'm trying to get mine off the ground (got a grand total of £4.60 in it!!!!)

judi24

pozza - thanks for your post - no I haven't started an emergency fund yet - I am planning on starting one after Christmas. At the moment my Nationwide OD is sort of up and down and acting like an emergency fund it has a 2k limit and my plan this month is not to go into it at all (it will be a miracle if that happens!) but in Jan I plan to start and emergency fund that will take its place.


Bizzy - Lizzie glad your youngest is managing at Uni ok - my eldest is home this week and I am not sure how well she is managing her money! Seems ok think - you just want whats best for them don't you and hope they have learned to manage well rather than how I was at her age (i had 2 kids by 23 and a mortgage but got into debt when my first husband and I split when kids were 2 and 3! and not been debt free since!!)


Started my Christmas shopping this week - I am trying really hard to stick to budget!!!