Removing father from birth certificate

chris_n_tj

Have sent you a pm MCMitten xxx

CH27

MCMitten wrote: »

Marisco... Thank you for your kind words I have the most supportive partner and he's helping me greatly through all this I was okay during the trial but since the verdict I've found out the most horrific things occurred... since then I've been struggling to get my head around it all I think I will take your advice and speak to someone... I'm a very positive and happy person by nature, but this has knocked me for six
Pulliptears... that is extremely comforting to hear. It cements in my mind that I'm definitely doing the right thing x

I hope that helps you to find some peace of mind.

whitewing

I think if his stepdad does adopt him the adoption process will sort out what he is ready to know at the moment.

Gavin83

This is a really hard thread to follow. Have you deleted something because it reads like we should know some information that isn't on here.

However you can't just remove someone from the birth certificate as has already been said. Depending on his crimes a court may overrule needing the fathers permission to adopt so it might be worth going down this route.

TBagpuss

Voyager2002 wrote: »

The simplest solution is for your partner to adopt him: step-parent adoption is a fairly cheap and painless process, something that I went through without needing a solicitor. It would be natural to change his surname to that of your partner along with this process, and the whole thing could be presented to your child as affirming that the man who now cares for him is legally and in truth his Dad.

Under normal circumstances the permission of the biological parent is needed for adoption to take place (as posted above), but there are ways round this...

Voyager, when and where did you do this?

It used to be quite common but is much less so now, and is inconsistent with a lot of the underlying principals in family law. Its do-able if the biological parent consents, but if they don't, it is far from simple or cheap, in most cases. (it's different where there is no biological parents, because they have died, or are unknown - but that is not OPs situation) OP, if you do want to look at step-parent adoption, see a solicitor first to get clear , up to date, professional advice.

lulu_92

I'm gonna put the shoe on the other foot and ask (albeit hesitantly) what if it was your son who had done this terrible thing? would you change your name?

Now, I'm not asking because I think any of your reasons are wrong, I'm just curious

McKneff

What happens when your child is older and finds all this subterfuge on your part, to keep him from his natural father.


He may end up hating you for it, you should be prepared for that. Every child should know who there parents are, warts and all. And then they can decide if they want any contact with them.


Has he harmed him at all in anyway. If not, and he is a criminal in another way, then I really think you are making a rod for your own back in the future.

InsideInsurance

MCMitten wrote: »

I feel it's better doing it all now ch27 as he'll want it done when he's older I'm sure... no child wants that kind of connection to a vile monster

The connection is not just to one man but a whole family. I'd be surprised if all of them are pedophiles or rapists or whatever he has done.

I can understand you clearly have very strong emotions about the issue and these may very well be justified but it sounds like you probably need assistance to come to terms with whatever has happened.

Kids can grow up to resent parents who intentionally deprive them of part of the family/heritage, they can also rebel and do things that they know will hurt you. Its much better to deal with these things properly.

I was like everyone else and assumed we were talking about a young child but he's almost as old as my former boss was when she got married and set up her own home with her husband (she was 15, he was 17). We are prone to babying children in this country

marisco_2

Mylo_The_Moggy wrote: »

IMHO if a child's father hasn't seen him for years & done something horrible, such as murder or has been exposed as a pae**phile, then I wouldn't wanna be associated with him either.

That has to be the choice of the child though. I hope the right support systems can be put in place, so as this young boy can be enabled to decide whether he wishes to maintain contact with his dad later on or not.

fivetide

Plus the only association will be if people are told. There are a whole world of Nilson's out there etc. Unless it is a very uncommon surname or he happens to have exactly the same name as his biological father, there is no reason anyone should ever know.

I don't think I've ever seen my birth certificate!