Nosy neighbours

pollypenny

I have just been gazing mindlessly out of my bedroom window, into the distance, when I realised that I could be thought of as nosing!

It's what many people do, especially if it's sunny.

fatpiggy

I remember once walking past an old folks home. There was an old man looking out of the window and without thinking, I smiled and waved to him. His face lit up and he waved back. I can't imagine a worse existence than being stuck indoors with nothing better to do than stare at the wall or watch daytime TV. My immediate neighbour is in her mid 80s, physically not good but as sharp as a pin. If she sees me in the front garden she will come to the door for a word and sometimes if she sees me in the back garden from her upstairs window she will tap on the glass then wave. SHe is happy to take my post in which gives me a good excuse to go in for a chat for an hour. She is very au fait with what is going on with just about every one on the street simply because people talk to her. And she tells me fascinating stories of her childhood and growing up during the war. When I first bought the house and went to introduce myself she told me it was a big relief that I was a normal, nice person and even better, a cat owner! She's a great neighbour and it won't be good when she is gone.

sulphate

I hate this. My parents' neighbour is the same. When I lived there he used to knock on our door asking us to move our car if it was parked outside his house (parking is residential permits, long street of terraced houses, very hard to park so you park where you can), every time my parents had people come over he would make a comment on "you had people over the other day, who were they?" :eek: Every time we would come home he would be outside wanting to talk, so he either watched constantly out the window for his neighbours to come home or make a mental note of when they were likely to. If someone was parking within a few houses' of his front door he would come out and watch them. If my mum was parking the car he would always try and tell her how to park, which drove her mad. Funny that he never did that with my dad. He is around 60 but perfectly mobile, takes his dogs for walks and frequently travels overseas.

Not everyone wants to be part of their neighbourhood community, lots of people have enough friends and enough things in their lives already.

lulu_92

thorsoak wrote: »

Pot? Kettle? :rotfl:

What, because when I'm sitting at home minding my own business I hear things from next door that I'm not comfortable hearing, especially when it involves a baby?

picklekin

I like people watching a lot, I do it all the time in restaurants etc. These are public places though where people choose to be in the public eye, it must be unpleasant to be watched when you are about your private home. I'd find it very intrusive and upsetting if someone was starting at me when I left my home.

My MIL/FIL do this a bit, its all "oh, soandso is going out again" or "did you see x with his grandson?" etc. I don't watch soaps but surely if your life is so empty they would be slightly more fun then watching people do their garden??

I don't think the OP has come across well but I can definitely empathise.

greenwoodlad

catkins wrote: »

So almost every time I or OH step outside the door the old witch pulls the net to one side to stare - how is that me stalking her exactly?


The others I don't really know about except other neighbours tell me what they gossip about and they seem to know most goings on although never anything helpful.


To all those that suggested they are good for stopping crime well a neighbour got burgled in daylight and surprise surprise not one of the nosy lot saw anything. Our van got broken into, again, nothing seen and to top it all there is a young guy who I am 99% sure is drug dealing and yet the nosy brigade don't seem to notice that either.


I am not that young (60) but at least I have a life

All these old folk are just interested in whats going on , passing the time of day etc ...one day they might see something useful ...in the meantime why not try and turn it on its head - why don't you ask them round for tea and cakes - that way you are dealing with it, these elderly people would probably appreciate it and you would kill their curiosity and diffuse the situation

Everyones a winner !:T

greenwoodlad

pollypenny wrote: »

I have just been gazing mindlessly out of my bedroom window, into the distance, when I realised that I could be thought of as nosing!

It's what many people do, especially if it's sunny.

Yeh I do that too - sometimes we can easily misinterpret what others are doing

Figgerty

catkins wrote: »

Where I live we seem to have a surplus of nosy neighbours. There are about 4 woman (all over 70) who are always looking out their windows or going outside to look at things and always wanting to !!!!! about others. Three of them are married so nothing to do with being lonely.


One of them lives to the side of me and almost every time me or OH are outside, whether gardening or even going to the garage or car, she seems to be looking out her upstairs window. She makes no secret of it and in fact pulls her net curtain to one side to peer out. We have taken to waving at her now. I don't know what she thinks we might be doing that is worth watching!


So to a point they all drive me mad and I wonder why none of them have got a life (I don't really talk to any of them but I hear from other neighbours all the gossip they give out) but I just ignore them and get on with my own life.


Yesterday I was walking my dogs and I bumped into someone I vaguely know (only through her walking her dog). She lives a couple of streets away so not even an immediate neighbour. Anyway we chat for a bit about the dogs and I am trying to get away as I am in a hurry and don't even really know her when she says "what are you doing about your wall". I was puzzled and didn't have a clue what she was talking about. I must have looked puzzled because she said "Your garden wall. It's got a big crack in it and it might fall down".


Now I didn't even realise she knew where I lived but what gives her the idea she can just ask such a question? I actually rent my house although she does not know that. I am not ashamed of that but I see no need for people to know so I just ignored her question and said "Must go as I am in a hurry". She didn't seem happy with that.


My landlord is not the slightest bit concerned about the wall although me and OH have mentioned it often enough. I must admit it has been like it for the 10 years we have lived here so hopefully will be ok for a while yet.


We can't people mind their own business?

You have lived there for ten years and only now decide to post. The nosey neighbours must be really annoying you then. Perhaps your time would be better spent getting your landlord to repair the wall, before it falls on somebody.

Figgerty

fatpiggy wrote: »

I remember once walking past an old folks home. There was an old man looking out of the window and without thinking, I smiled and waved to him. His face lit up and he waved back. I can't imagine a worse existence than being stuck indoors with nothing better to do than stare at the wall or watch daytime TV. My immediate neighbour is in her mid 80s, physically not good but as sharp as a pin. If she sees me in the front garden she will come to the door for a word and sometimes if she sees me in the back garden from her upstairs window she will tap on the glass then wave. SHe is happy to take my post in which gives me a good excuse to go in for a chat for an hour. She is very au fait with what is going on with just about every one on the street simply because people talk to her. And she tells me fascinating stories of her childhood and growing up during the war. When I first bought the house and went to introduce myself she told me it was a big relief that I was a normal, nice person and even better, a cat owner! She's a great neighbour and it won't be good when she is gone.

I believe that a lot of retired or housebound people are lonely and look out the window to see a friendly face - your neighbour is very lucky you live beside her. You are also lucky in finding out about her life and the recent history she has lived through. I was in a similar position when I moved into my my home as the woman next door had lived there since she was married forty years previously. She was able to tell me about about the area before it's large houses were knocked down to be replaced by luxurious flats. Sadly, she died several year ago.

Although still youngish, when I'm not feeling well and unable to go outside I quite often look out the window, to see what's happening outside. If I plan on going out I look out the window to check on the traffic or the weather. I would be horrified at the thought of my neighbours labelling me a nosy neighbour. Thank goodness most of my neighbours are out all day.

Hermoine

I moved to a terrace about a year ago, and I really like the fact that people who are around all the time (mainly old, but also young mums) are pretty observant about what's going on. I'm away a few nights every week, and my neighbours know that, and also know that I have a catsitter popping in a couple of days a week (in fact they also know the catsitter - one already knew her, and the other started chatting to her coming into my house and is now using her as well). It makes me feel a lot more secure about leaving my house. I think that's part of what makes a community, and I appreciate it.