Nosy neighbours

kingfisherblue

I picked some stationery up from Freecycle the other day. The lady told me that she is 85 and I was the only person that she had seen for three days. I found that incredibly sad. My own mum is 80, but I speak to her about three times a day and see her three or four times a week (sometimes for only a few minutes though). She also goes out with a friend every week. They go with each other to any appointments (just as far as the waiting room, not in to see the doctor). Mum also has a hairdresser coming to the house once a week. It doesn't mean that she doesn't get lonely at times. Before my dad died, she was lonely sometimes then, as he developed dementia.


Your neighbours may be lonely. They might be thinking back to 'the good old days' when neighbours talked to each other. Many of mine still chat over the garden fence - I'm sure that's why so many of them potter in the garden (I live on an estate that has a predominantly elderly population).


You're sixty, OP, which would have been considered old not that long ago. You still have a life, as you say, but presumably that means that your friends are still alive, you can still get around with relative ease, and you aren't lonely. Spare a thought for those who are. Yes, it can be frustrating, but you have a more interesting life than those who live around you. One day, you will be old and possibly lonely. You might become a curtain twitcher yourself.

fin7

There's an amazing old lady at the top of my street, fascinating to talk to, fiercely independent, her house is like stepping back in time and she won't let anyone help. She never married, has no children and no family near. Since she's become housebound she's become lonely, we've all been encouraging her to get a garden seat for the front garden, people will come and chat to her then, she's bought herself a folding garden chair, when I'm walking the dog and she's out there I go up her garden path and have a chat with her. She's well in her 90's, I love talking to her.

Just because people appear to always be at the window or in the garden doesn't mean they're being nosey.

Calien

The old couple next door are always at their front window. The old man killed a pigeon and put it in front of our house the other week, there was a trail of feathers coming from his back garden to the spot where he left it....odd man. :eek:

We have a bush in the corner of our front garden (well away from his house) it's one that will eventually climb and wrap around the trellis on the wall, he asked when we were cutting it because my baby might get harmed by it, like the plant is going to snatch and eat her or something. :rotfl:

Tiddlywinks

catkins wrote: »

..... to top it all there is a young guy who I am 99% sure is drug dealing and yet the nosy brigade don't seem to notice that either.

Wow - just wow.

How are you different to the 'nosy brigade'?

Why not go and share your gossip - join the gang!

Georgiegirl256

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I know the names of pretty well everyone in the street, their childrens' names, what cars they drive and what they do for a living and much more.

Me, nosey? No, we just talk to each other.

I think this is what it come down to.

When I was little, we knew the names of everyone on our street (and streets beyond too), their families, where they worked etc because everyone talked to each other. Same with my grandparents, everyone knew them and quite often popped into their house, there was nearly always a neighbour in.

People don't talk the same anymore, people keep themselves to themselves, there isn't the same feel of community anymore.

On one side of us we have the Closes resident "nosy neighbour", I say that with affection though because he's a lovely man, friendly and helpful, but knows everything about everyone. This is due to a combination of living there since the houses were built in the 50's, curtain twitching and talking to people. I actually like the fact that there's someone keeping an eye on things when everyone else is so wrapped up in themselves that they can barely lift their heads to say hello over the garden wall....other next door neighbours for example.

Admittedly, it's a bit disconcerting when he stands upstairs in his bedroom and just stares out, but he means no harm though, and neighbourhoods could do with a lot more "nosy neighbours" tbh. As long as they aren't being nasty or causing any trouble, why bother?

Horace

There is an old lady where I live and she has lived in these houses since they were built back in 1953 when they were council. Ashamedly I did not speak to her when I first moved in because I wondered what she would say as I had moved into the house that was once owned by her best friend (now dead). I bumped into her at the bus stop and carried her bags for her, we had a good chat and she asked me if I was happy in the house. She said that she was fearful that everything would change when somebody moved in. She has since been round to see that the changes made are improvements - I now have a flat garden path instead of one that was a trip hazard, the plants her friend brought still remain in the garden.

We all look out for each other, when the snow comes the chap that lives next door to me comes out with one of his lads as does the roofer that lives a few doors down - they clear all the snow from the pavements and our paths (they go to the grit bin and scatter grit on our paths), they even check to see if we want any shopping.

I guess we have a little community and I admit that I always look out of my bedroom window to see what is going on.

catkins

trailingspouse wrote: »

If you can't cope with living next to an old person just remember one thing - don't get old.

I am already 60 so not young!

kingfisherblue wrote: »

Your neighbours may be lonely. They might be thinking back to 'the good old days' when neighbours talked to each other. Many of mine still chat over the garden fence - I'm sure that's why so many of them potter in the garden (I live on an estate that has a predominantly elderly population).

You're sixty, OP, which would have been considered old not that long ago. You still have a life, as you say, but presumably that means that your friends are still alive, you can still get around with relative ease, and you aren't lonely. Spare a thought for those who are. Yes, it can be frustrating, but you have a more interesting life than those who live around you. One day, you will be old and possibly lonely. You might become a curtain twitcher yourself.

I talk to lots of my neighbours. My next door neighbour is 92 and we chat a lot. I have no time for the nosy brigade though. If they want to look out the window fine but why pull the net across to make such a big deal of it?


The woman who pulls the curtain gets around. I see her on the bus quite often. She has no obvious mobility problems, she can garden.


I can assure you I will NEVER become a curtain twitcher. If I can't get out I will read, do jigsaws, crossword puzzles, read, watch tv, watch dvd's, listen to the radio, listen to an audio book, use the internet etc etc etc.

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Wow - just wow.

How are you different to the 'nosy brigade'?

Why not go and share your gossip - join the gang!

So is it ok to have a drug dealer living so close? Some of his "customers" leave a lot to be desired and not that long ago when I was at the front gardening I was threatened by one of his charming friends.


I have never talked about him to my neighbours so your comment about sharing my gossip is petty and pathetic. I am sure you would like a drug dealer living near you?

Georgiegirl256

People pull the net back because you can't see too clearly through net curtains. It's their net, their window, their house, if they want to peer out of their own window then that's up to them.

You seem to have a real problem with it. It's quite ironic actually. You're taking an excessive interest in someone taking an excessive interest in the goings on around them!

patchwork_cat

2 comments on this thread made me laugh, as they were exactly what I was thinking! You need to be more tolerant, you are complaining about older people being nosy and intolerant, and you are being the latter! Some older people do not have enough going on - instead of moaning about them embrace them, empathise and be more community minded.

catkins

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

People pull the net back because you can't see too clearly through net curtains. It's their net, their window, their house, if they want to peer out of their own window then that's up to them.

You seem to have a real problem with it. It's quite ironic actually. You're taking an excessive interest in someone taking an excessive interest in the goings on around them!

Well I can see perfectly well through my net curtains and have never seen the need to pull them to one side to look out.


I am not taking an excessive interest in the nosy old bat. Practically every time I stop outside she is peering out. I see her curtain move.

patchwork_cat wrote: »

2 comments on this thread made me laugh, as they were exactly what I was thinking! You need to be more tolerant, you are complaining about older people being nosy and intolerant, and you are being the latter! Some older people do not have enough going on - instead of moaning about them embrace them, empathise and be more community minded.

Why do I have to be more tolerant? I can't stand nosy busybodies.


She notices cars that don't have up to date tax discs and reports them (and no before you all jump to conclusions I don't mean me and OH) but doesn't notice someone being burgled during the day or someone's car being set alight. Oh can't have an untaxed car on the road but don't worry about people being burgled. What business is it of hers whether a car is taxed or not? To me she is just nasty certainly not community minded.


I am more likely to see real crimes (like drug dealing) as I have 2 dogs and walk them 3 times a day each (separately) so walking around the neighbourhood a lot every day.