Baby next door crying non-stop!

EmmyLou30

Well i feel for the OP too. It's impossible to approach a parent of a child when you have none of your own and expect to get a warm welcome when you mention the noise of a crying baby - impossible. They think you're insensitive and 'what would you know, you don't have one' as many of the posters on here have reacted in that way proves. I know they can't be silenced if there is a medical issue or whatever but what they can do is have the decency to come tell me 'look, my baby is suffering with 'x' at the moment, I'm really sorry for the noise'. They must know the sound carries so should at least make mention of it. Some people just don't have the common courtesy when it comes to neighbours.
I warn mine if I plan on doing any drilling or diy even if it is in the middle of the day, or if I planned on doing anything which might adversely affect them like a BBQ and they have washing out etc. A crying baby comes under that 'common courtesy' heading for me. Like someone else said, a baby is mobile. Take it out for a walk or in the car, give your neighbours a break from the noise.
I hope you get it sorted soon OP, neighbour noise quickly drives you crazy and starts to occupy your every waking moment even in the silence waiting for it to start up again.

lulu_92

maman wrote: »

Medical conditions excepted, it's NOT normal for babies to cry and cry for hours.


I agree with your analogy of the plane OP as, if the parents were coping, they'd do something to at least turn the screaming to a grizzle. They could nurse it, walk it around, take it out in the pram, give it a bottle, all sorts of distractions.


I'd say that while it's possible that the mother doesn't care, more likely she's exhausted and isn't coping. Her swearing/shouting does sound that way. She probably can put on a bit of a front for the Health Visitor but then reverts behind closed doors.


It's a shame you feel a bit shy to approach her but if you won't say anything then you'll just have to cope as best you can until you can move house.

Thank you, I feel that you totally understand how I feel.

I never said she doesn't care. If people look back on what I've read I actually said I was worried about her too. I stand by what I said about her language. Nobody should be saying F*** to their child for any reason (and this actually comes from someone who has that as their favourite word, but there's a time and a place for it. Around a child is not that)

It is a very sensitive subject to approach, which is why I've held back from taking any action. I've had friends and family visit me and say that they will call SS on my behalf and I've told them not to.

Thanks, picklekin.

We intentionally don't have parties or gatherings because we have small children living on both sides of us and it would be rude. If we did we would go round and tell them as a heads up, maybe give them a bottle of wine as gratitude

DomRavioli

lulu_92 wrote: »

You are more than welcome to come to my house and see how bad the noise is for yourself.

Yes, the family might be going through their own personal hell that I don't know about - which is why I don't say anything!

I do think that I am perfectly in my right to want to be able to be in my house and not have to put up with it, though.

I'm not exactly being selfish by wanting that. I think some parents forget how it feels for childless people.

That is a good idea missbiggles, I will talk to OH about it (although I can guarantee he will say no because he will see it as an added expense - not my fault!)

I am really worried about rubbing people up the wrong way and I am too shy to say anything to people as well (I will have to get over that, I am aware)

I am disappointed that "because babies cry" is a perfect justification. If it was loud music it would be a different story.

I know how baby babies crying for 18 hours a day is thanks, if you would have read my post, you would have known that. It took 3 years for my niece to be diagnosed and treated, and it is common to take a wait and see approach with diagnostics for babies and toddlers. I also looked after her for 4 days a week as my sister is a social worker, so nightmare city on that one, thank goodness at the time I was in a detached house, someone would think I was murdering her when it was pain from a disease.

Maybe you're just oversensitive to noise - have you spoken to other neighbours (if they have them)?

I think the reason people are being negative is that you haven't tried to talk to the family, to see if there's anything wrong or any way you could make it better, you went straight for the social services line and it just isn't right to do that. Shy or not (I have an anxiety disorder, so I know how it feels), if you can't live with it, you will have to do something about it, something constructive.

Dealing with any form of noise puts you on edge, but you have the power to fix this, or at least make it tolerable. I hope you get a resolution.

tia86

Could it be that they simply do not realise how thin the walls are and that you can gear constant crying? You said they are relatively new, you are usually out in the day, so maybe because they don't hear anything don't think you can?
It sounds like they are getting on with things, inviting people round etc, so could them not being aware be the reason they haven't apologised or made any comment in passing?

lulu_92

DomRavioli wrote: »

I know how baby babies crying for 18 hours a day is thanks, if you would have read my post, you would have known that. It took 3 years for my niece to be diagnosed and treated, and it is common to take a wait and see approach with diagnostics for babies and toddlers. I also looked after her for 4 days a week as my sister is a social worker, so nightmare city on that one, thank goodness at the time I was in a detached house, someone would think I was murdering her when it was pain from a disease.

Maybe you're just oversensitive to noise - have you spoken to other neighbours (if they have them)?

I think the reason people are being negative is that you haven't tried to talk to the family, to see if there's anything wrong or any way you could make it better, you went straight for the social services line and it just isn't right to do that. Shy or not (I have an anxiety disorder, so I know how it feels), if you can't live with it, you will have to do something about it, something constructive.

Dealing with any form of noise puts you on edge, but you have the power to fix this, or at least make it tolerable. I hope you get a resolution.

Their other neighbours are Chinese and don't speak English and unfortunately I don't speak any Chinese either :rotfl:

I didn't go straight to the SS option. My OP was a brief summary. I considered going round so many times, I still do consider it, but like EmmyLou said "It's impossible to approach a parent of a child when you have none of your own and expect to get a warm welcome when you mention the noise of a crying baby"

I could go round with the best of intentions but I don't think they would take too kindly to it regardless!

It's hard when our house is owned by my OH. He has been there for 8 years now and had no problems until these people started renting next door (was told they were renting when I first met them)

Thanks for your wishes of a resolution.

SavingPennies_2

thorsoak wrote: »

WHAT RUBBISH!! No two babies are alike ...I should know - I had four - first two absolute angels ...number three - hell on wheels for the first eight months - no amount of comforting feeding mediction massages helped - but suddenly at eight and a half months it all stopped, and I had an angel baby again!

Please don't judge if you haven't experienced it.

OP - have you asked if there is anything at all that you could do to help? From what you've said so far, I presume not. The parents probably have enough to cope with, without feeling that they are being judged by their snotty neighbours.

Wow so rude! Nothing about the OP's post was snotty or judgemental. She also said she tried to befriend her to no avail.

lulu_92

tia86 wrote: »

Could it be that they simply do not realise how thin the walls are and that you can gear constant crying? You said they are relatively new, you are usually out in the day, so maybe because they don't hear anything don't think you can?
It sounds like they are getting on with things, inviting people round etc, so could them not being aware be the reason they haven't apologised or made any comment in passing?

I think they're aware. I've heard them shout at me through the wall, ironically for making too much noise

lostinrates

DomRavioli wrote: »

Maybe you're just oversensitive to noise - .

Or maybe parents and families are oversensitive to suggestion they might be under sensitive to their impact on others as a group?

OP. Is ranting and asking for guidance, she is a young woman and admits that and has come for collective wisdom. I feel the attack on her when she has expressed both concern for the child and family, the impact its having on her life and well being a little harsh.


OP, I think however, the answer is communication. Its weirdly much easier to relax when you know that 'samantha' next door is having trouble settling little 'billy' again, rather than ' that baby is crying again', knowing its teeth, or health, or even just its a difficult little fusspot, might set your mind at rest.......or not.

I'd go for the coffee suggestion. Maybe have her for coffee at a weekend, when her partner is home, or suggest your partner ask her partner for help lifting something in the house so they hear it?


My niece was a screamer. We couldn't put her down ever. She went from one family member to another her entire babyhood/toddler years. Some are just like that I think.

lulu_92

lostinrates wrote: »

Or maybe parents and families are oversensitive to suggestion they might be under sensitive to their impact on others as a group?

OP. Is ranting and asking for guidance, she is a young woman and admits that and has come for collective wisdom. I feel the attack on her when she has expressed both concern for the child and family, the impact its having on her life and well being a little harsh.


OP, I think however, the answer is communication. Its weirdly much easier to relax when you know that 'samantha' next door is having trouble settling little 'billy' again, rather than ' that baby is crying again', knowing its teeth, or health, or even just its a difficult little fusspot, might set your mind at rest.......or not.

I'd go for the coffee suggestion. Maybe have her for coffee at a weekend, when her partner is home, or suggest your partner ask her partner for help lifting something in the house so they hear it?


My niece was a screamer. We couldn't put her down ever. She went from one family member to another her entire babyhood/toddler years. Some are just like that I think.

I'd like to thank everyone who gave constructive advice similar to this.

My only reason for not going for the coffee suggestion is that she doesn't even say hello or acknowledge us, no matter how hard we try.

marisco_2

thorsoak wrote: »

The parents probably have enough to cope with, without feeling that they are being judged by their snotty neighbours.

It is comments like this that discourage people from showing concern and to simply be neighbourly. Leaving vulnerable people to struggle on whilst feeling more and more isolated. Society is far less friendly and supportive now than when I was growing up.