Baby next door crying non-stop!

Mojisola

lulu_92 wrote: »

I do understand that, which is why I don't say anything but I have a small feeling that they could be doing a bit more when she cries

I agree with you - for their own sake as well as the neighbours.

Being stuck inside with a screaming baby will drive anyone crazy so I'm not surprised that the older child is being shouted at. If you can get out with the baby, even if it's just walking the streets for half an hour, it takes the pressure off everyone because the sound dissipates.

Reams

lulu_92 wrote: »

This is only a brief story about it, I could go on for days!

We had new neighbours move in at the start of March. From what I can gather it was a family of three with one on the way. I spoke to the dad once as they were moving in and he seemed nice enough: a welcome change from our old neighbour.

Anyway, they moved in and after a week or so the new baby arrived. We only knew this because we could hear her crying. Initially it didn't bother us because we were very understanding when it comes to babies.

Over the following months the crying got worse. It became louder and more distressed. No matter where I was in my house I could hear it at the same volume, and it got to the point where I didn't know what to do. They also have a son who must be about 8 or 9 who likes to mimic the baby and scream loudly himself. If mum gets annoyed she will not hold back from screaming and swearing at the kid too!

They've been in the house nearly 6 months now. The crying hasn't seemed to get that much better and I'm at my wits end. I can't enjoy any of my time at home because the crying can be heard over everything except my vacuum cleaner (so I have really clean floors, which is a plus :rotfl:) as it is pretty much from 5:30pm until about 11pm, constantly.

What do I do? I don't feel like I could talk to them about it because the longer they've lived there, the more angry they seem!

Only me then who has sympathy for you lulu. It must be nerve shredding to come home after working all day to the screaming, though I'd be more annoyed at the boy joining in.


What I can't figure is why does the crying stop at 11pm? Why not 7pm for instance? Perhaps others can enlighten me. I can only wonder if she's a mother who believes a baby needs ignoring so as to get it to sleep. If the baby doesn't cry during the day when you're at home, maybe she is using that method.
I believe babies cry for a reason, too hot, hungry, pain or simply to be close to mum.




I don't think there is anything you can say either as not having children yourself, it wouldn't be welcome. As for offering to babysit! Does the woman have callers, such as her own family? Most mums with a new baby have some kind of support network, it's not down to a childless neighbour to offer.


If the situation doesn't improve, I wouldn't suggest SS as you have no evidence of anything amiss. Perhaps have a word with the health visitor at your GP and ask what she would suggest.


Living in a detached house does not isolate one from neighbours believe me. At present because of all doors and windows being open I can hear the terrified screams of a small child before he gets hit. Heard it again the other day and ran to the house after hearing the thwack! There wasn't a sound coming from the open doors, it was like a recording had been switched off, so I returned home shaking like a leaf. She is in the middle of a terrace so surely her neighbours hear it. Best I can do at present is keep a diary, and I worry that once winter comes I won't hear a thing.

lulu_92

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Totally agree with all of the above.

As others have said, the baby might have something wrong with it, some health problems that causes it to cry so much. The last thing your neighbours are going to want is a neighbour giving them grief and a visits from Social Services.
Yes, like I've said, I know this which is why I haven't said anything.

Judging from some of your other posts (OP), you're thinking of having a baby yourself pretty soon. If that's the case, you'd better get used to it. If you can't live with the neighbours baby screaming, how on earth are you going to deal with a screaming baby of your own?
Yes I'm planning on having my own child. I suppose the difference is that I have chosen to have that child. I might end up with a baby that is 10x worse. It is a risk you take. It's so much harder to be forgiving of a child that isn't yours, which I think some people could agree with me on.

Our walls are pretty thin, you can here next door when they sneeze or raise their voices, and also when they have their grandchildren during the day. The youngest is a baby only a few months old, and yes it cries a lot, but nothing the tv doesn't drown out.
The television doesn't drown the sound out. Like I said, the only thing that does is the hoover, and I don't want to spend all of my personal time hoovering! :rotfl:

I know it's awful and wears you down getting a constant noise from neighbours, but with a crying baby, there really is very little you can do about it.

As has been said already, it's the parents I feel sorry for.

@balletshoes I meant to write a child and a baby. But the discomfort is the same, right?

I obviously don't know how I am going to be when I have a child, especially if I have a child that cries a lot for whatever reason. I suppose that if it were to happen in the house I am in now, I would do what my other neighbour did and go to them and apologise for any noise. I think I mentioned it earlier when I said that I know they can hear us if we make noise because logically if I can hear them it would work both ways.

notanewuser

Reams wrote: »

Only me then who has sympathy for you lulu. It must be nerve shredding to come home after working all day to the screaming, though I'd be more annoyed at the boy joining in.


What I can't figure is why does the crying stop at 11pm? Why not 7pm for instance? Perhaps others can enlighten me. I can only wonder if she's a mother who believes a baby needs ignoring so as to get it to sleep. If the baby doesn't cry during the day when you're at home, maybe she is using that method.
I believe babies cry for a reason, too hot, hungry, pain or simply to be close to mum.




I don't think there is anything you can say either as not having children yourself, it wouldn't be welcome. As for offering to babysit! Does the woman have callers, such as her own family? Most mums with a new baby have some kind of support network, it's not down to a childless neighbour to offer.


If the situation doesn't improve, I wouldn't suggest SS as you have no evidence of anything amiss. Perhaps have a word with the health visitor at your GP and ask what she would suggest.


Living in a detached house does not isolate one from neighbours believe me. At present because of all doors and windows being open I can hear the terrified screams of a small child before he gets hit. Heard it again the other day and ran to the house after hearing the thwack! There wasn't a sound coming from the open doors, it was like a recording had been switched off, so I returned home shaking like a leaf. She is in the middle of a terrace so surely her neighbours hear it. Best I can do at present is keep a diary, and I worry that once winter comes I won't hear a thing.

Why on earth are you waiting to do something?!

lulu_92

Reams wrote: »

Only me then who has sympathy for you lulu. It must be nerve shredding to come home after working all day to the screaming, though I'd be more annoyed at the boy joining in.


What I can't figure is why does the crying stop at 11pm? Why not 7pm for instance? Perhaps others can enlighten me. I can only wonder if she's a mother who believes a baby needs ignoring so as to get it to sleep. If the baby doesn't cry during the day when you're at home, maybe she is using that method.
I believe babies cry for a reason, too hot, hungry, pain or simply to be close to mum.




I don't think there is anything you can say either as not having children yourself, it wouldn't be welcome. As for offering to babysit! Does the woman have callers, such as her own family? Most mums with a new baby have some kind of support network, it's not down to a childless neighbour to offer.


If the situation doesn't improve, I wouldn't suggest SS as you have no evidence of anything amiss. Perhaps have a word with the health visitor at your GP and ask what she would suggest.


Living in a detached house does not isolate one from neighbours believe me. At present because of all doors and windows being open I can hear the terrified screams of a small child before he gets hit. Heard it again the other day and ran to the house after hearing the thwack! There wasn't a sound coming from the open doors, it was like a recording had been switched off, so I returned home shaking like a leaf. She is in the middle of a terrace so surely her neighbours hear it. Best I can do at present is keep a diary, and I worry that once winter comes I won't hear a thing.

Thanks, Reams

It has been a nightmare. I think when I was off work for two weeks it riled me up because I was on bedrest and that's all I had to listen to.

The screaming does happen in the day as well, but Mon-Fri I'm at work and tend to use my weekends to see family elsewhere.

The strange thing is, her house is never empty. She will have 2 or 3 people visit every day, although they tend to add to the noise.

That sounds horrible! I hope that gets better soon! I remember a few weeks ago I was in bed (ill) at about half 7 and all I could hear was the baby crying (her room shares a wall with mine), but the cries were sounding more strained and would get louder and louder. No sound of parent or older child. Two minutes later someone knocked on their door and it opened instantly..

toniq

Sorry op but you have really incensed me with a few of your remarks, the language she uses, thinking there might be more to it, that is accusing her of child abuse,etc.

My toddler as a baby had a very loud baby phase where she just wouldn't settle whatever we did, and we tried everything possible, paid for private check ups to make sure nothing was amiss, till she was good and ready, my neighbour commented on her being "vocal" I explained she is a baby i wont gag her she will calm down when she does.

They can't miraculously shut a baby up, believe me they need the rest as much as everyone else, in time the baby will settle.

if you are seriously concerned about abuse report report report.

Don't do it to be vindictive because the noise of a baby annoys you. We were all babies once.

marisco_2

This is a delicate situation with two young children caught up in the middle of it. By the sounds of it the older one is becoming negatively affected by the environment he is being raised in. What you do about the concerns you have needs to be handled carefully, so as the family are open to receiving any help or support they are in need of.

Personally I think it would be heavy handed to contact social services without first trying to approach your neighbours and offer the hand of friendship. When you are going through a very difficult time, and are struggling from the pressures of it all, knowing that someone is there nearby can be such a good thing and bring about positive changes.

If your neighbours aren't receptive to you and things escalate, then it would be very sensible to raise your concerns with agencies that can offer appropriate assistance.

maman

Medical conditions excepted, it's NOT normal for babies to cry and cry for hours.


I agree with your analogy of the plane OP as, if the parents were coping, they'd do something to at least turn the screaming to a grizzle. They could nurse it, walk it around, take it out in the pram, give it a bottle, all sorts of distractions.


I'd say that while it's possible that the mother doesn't care, more likely she's exhausted and isn't coping. Her swearing/shouting does sound that way. She probably can put on a bit of a front for the Health Visitor but then reverts behind closed doors.


It's a shame you feel a bit shy to approach her but if you won't say anything then you'll just have to cope as best you can until you can move house.

picklekin

Urg, that must be horrible OP.

I understand there must be times when as a parent your at your wits end and just let the child cry, but don't you try and soothe, take it for a walk, a drive etc some of the time? From the sounds of it they aren't doing any of this.. Maybe they are, and maybe its doesn't work.. but in that case I think the least they could have done was pop round to explain to the neighbors (like your other neighbor did). When I was younger and used to have crazy parties I always used to go and tell the neighbors first (so they could go out if they wanted!).
Having to live next door to this with NO POWER to even try to make the situation better must be horrible. don't know why people are jumping to assume the OP is a terrible, social services reporting evil cow, she's just living through something very unpleasant and trying to explore her options!

Mids_Costcutter

Agree with Miss Biggles: improved sound insulation is the solution, even just for the short-term if you're planning to move in the next couple of years.

We had problems with noise from neighbours and had a stud wall built onto the existing party wall in our bedroom. 50mm battens with insulation between, sound insulation boards on top and then skim plastered. So in total we lost a 60mm strip off the room, but definitely worth it: no more disturbed sleep now.

I can't understand why even some new homes in the UK have such poor sound insulation.