Baby next door crying non-stop!

thorsoak

PasturesNew wrote: »

But the parents chose to have one - knowing what they're like. The OP didn't choose to have one and has had it thrust upon them.

WHAT RUBBISH!! No two babies are alike ...I should know - I had four - first two absolute angels ...number three - hell on wheels for the first eight months - no amount of comforting feeding mediction massages helped - but suddenly at eight and a half months it all stopped, and I had an angel baby again!

Please don't judge if you haven't experienced it.

OP - have you asked if there is anything at all that you could do to help? From what you've said so far, I presume not. The parents probably have enough to cope with, without feeling that they are being judged by their snotty neighbours.

Gigervamp

You could say "Hi, is everything ok? Only, I can hear your baby crying and wondered if there's anything I can do to help. It must be very tiring for you."

DomRavioli

OP, if the health visitor is happy, then you have a number of options.

Option 1 - Put up with it. Babies cry, some scream for hours (Niece number one who is now 6 cried for hours on end, she looked perfectly normal but had some serious health problems which were undiagnosed), some barely make a peep. It isn't your place to tell others how to parent, so suck it up. Buy some nice Bose noise cancelling headphones, earplugs, sound proofing, or don't move to a terrace in an area popular with young families.

Option 2 - Move. You've said it isn't an option, but you'd rather call social services without a justifiable reason (believe me, a child crying isn't a reason) when they are severely overstretched, than move yourself away from it. That just sounds like you're passing the buck - you have the problem with the noise, you fix it.

Option 3 - Talk to the parents. This is the most sensible option. Just pop in, and have a chat with them about normal things (not a crying child). They may also be sick of having a screaming baby, but I guess that went right over your head; there is no feeling like not being able to comfort your own child. You will be able to tell rather quickly if they are stressed, and surely if they are, they don't need social services and a nosy neighbour adding onto it.

You seem awfully focussed on your problems, but not what the family might be going through - get real, and stop being so selfish.

It may sound harsh, but it needed to be said.

clarryd

This could go one of 3 ways.

1) Social services get involved and investigate if there is a problem

2) Social Services get involved and refer the mother to take the child to the doctors as the child has something wrong with it

3)But be very careful this could cause you problems with your neighbours and living next door to nightmare neighbours is not a very nice thing, especially if they clock on it was you who phone the Social Services.

Try to speak to the father as you said he was nice at the beginning and maybe he will explain the reason for the childs constant crying and if not just mention that the walls are paper thin and you hope they dont hear you when you are doing the hoovering.

This may kick start them into knowing that you can hear everything that is going on in their house.

Good luck

balletshoes

lulu_92 wrote: »

This is how I feel, and it sounds bad to admit it. I know I'll probably change when I have kids but I imagine that I would apologise if I knew my kids were making noise that the neighbours could hear.

I do think your opinion might change once u have your own baby. if i were your neighbour i might, if i saw you, apologise for the noise ~ but as its every evening i,m not sure what would be achieved? i mean its not like anything is going to change in your neighbours house in the short~term ~ the baby is still a baby and is going to cry by what u say.

thorsoak

DomRavioli wrote: »

OP, if the health visitor is happy, then you have a number of options.

Option 1 - Put up with it. Babies cry, some scream for hours (Niece number one who is now 6 cried for hours on end, she looked perfectly normal but had some serious health problems which were undiagnosed), some barely make a peep. It isn't your place to tell others how to parent, so suck it up. Buy some nice Bose noise cancelling headphones, earplugs, sound proofing, or don't move to a terrace in an area popular with young families.

Option 2 - Move. You've said it isn't an option, but you'd rather call social services without a justifiable reason (believe me, a child crying isn't a reason) when they are severely overstretched, than move yourself away from it. That just sounds like you're passing the buck - you have the problem with the noise, you fix it.

Option 3 - Talk to the parents. This is the most sensible option. Just pop in, and have a chat with them about normal things (not a crying child). They may also be sick of having a screaming baby, but I guess that went right over your head; there is no feeling like not being able to comfort your own child. You will be able to tell rather quickly if they are stressed, and surely if they are, they don't need social services and a nosy neighbour adding onto it.

You seem awfully focussed on your problems, but not what the family might be going through - get real, and stop being so selfish.

It may sound harsh, but it needed to be said.

Well said!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

PasturesNew wrote: »

But the parents chose to have one - knowing what they're like. The OP didn't choose to have one and has had it thrust upon them.

I certainly didn't know that a baby could scream for 20 hours a day, only separated by a few twenty minute naps - I thought that you could get 2-3 hours sleep at a time and that they were occasionally happy. Or at least, not miserable.


There would be nothing a neighbour could have said that would have made me do things differently -I'd be thinking 'if I knew how to get her to stop screaming, don't you think I'd be doing it already?'



Nearly six years later when I had my second child, I found out that they can actually sleep for 6-8 hours from very early, and be contented the rest of the time.

I didn't choose either - so saying the parents knew what they were getting is completely inaccurate, because you just don't know (and the media versions bear absolutely zero relation to the reality of any baby of your own).

missbiggles1

Why not spend some of your savings on some sound insulation? As well as helping you now it could make the house easier to sell when you want to move, particularly as it seems as if these might be really noisy neighbours even when the baby's older.

lulu_92

DomRavioli wrote: »

OP, if the health visitor is happy, then you have a number of options.

Option 1 - Put up with it. Babies cry, some scream for hours (Niece number one who is now 6 cried for hours on end, she looked perfectly normal but had some serious health problems which were undiagnosed), some barely make a peep. It isn't your place to tell others how to parent, so suck it up. Buy some nice Bose noise cancelling headphones, earplugs, sound proofing, or don't move to a terrace in an area popular with young families.
When OH moved in 8 years ago it wasn't popular with families at all. Now that has all changed as most of the other houses have been purchased by landlords so youngish families are moving in left, right and centre. Most of them we don't have any problems with.

I agree that it is not my place to tell others how to parent, which is why I haven't said anything because I do not want to disrespect the poor woman!

Option 2 - Move. You've said it isn't an option, but you'd rather call social services without a justifiable reason (believe me, a child crying isn't a reason) when they are severely overstretched, than move yourself away from it. That just sounds like you're passing the buck - you have the problem with the noise, you fix it.
I never said I rather would call them. If you read my past posts I said I was reluctant to for various reasons, but the thought did cross my mind.

Option 3 - Talk to the parents. This is the most sensible option. Just pop in, and have a chat with them about normal things (not a crying child). They may also be sick of having a screaming baby, but I guess that went right over your head; there is no feeling like not being able to comfort your own child. You will be able to tell rather quickly if they are stressed, and surely if they are, they don't need social services and a nosy neighbour adding onto it.
Yes they might be sick of a screaming child but like another poster said, they decided to have a child. I know that does not mean they knew baby would cry this much but it is a risk you take.

You seem awfully focussed on your problems, but not what the family might be going through - get real, and stop being so selfish.

It may sound harsh, but it needed to be said.

You are more than welcome to come to my house and see how bad the noise is for yourself.

Yes, the family might be going through their own personal hell that I don't know about - which is why I don't say anything!

I do think that I am perfectly in my right to want to be able to be in my house and not have to put up with it, though.

I'm not exactly being selfish by wanting that. I think some parents forget how it feels for childless people.

That is a good idea missbiggles, I will talk to OH about it (although I can guarantee he will say no because he will see it as an added expense - not my fault!)

I am really worried about rubbing people up the wrong way and I am too shy to say anything to people as well (I will have to get over that, I am aware)

I am disappointed that "because babies cry" is a perfect justification. If it was loud music it would be a different story.

catkins

Over 30 years ago we bought a new house and our neighbours were fairly newly married, the same as us. They were really lovely and we got on well with them.


After about a year and a half they had a baby and that baby cried and screamed non stop. I felt so sorry for them and I used to hear her sometimes screaming at the baby to shut up. I also used to hear her crying.


I never thought there was anything suspicious - they just had a baby that kept crying. I know me and OH found it really annoying although luckily we were both out at work all day. She did used to apologise but obviously there was nothing she could do.


It did get a bit better after about a year and then they moved.


I do sympathise with the OP but there is not really anything you can do. It's a shame houses are not built a bit better with better soundproofing rather than what could be cardboard between houses.


I will say that although me and OH had already decided we did not want to have children that baby would have made our minds up for sure! We used to say it would be a great advert for contraception