Baby next door crying non-stop!

notanewuser

PartTimeMe wrote: »

Just to say about HV. My area is massively understaffed, in fact we didn't have a named HV until my child was nearly 2y. OPs area may be similar

He is my only child but we still only saw someone a couple of times for mandaatory checks. I have turned up at the clinic and begged for advice and seen whoever came back to the office first. I tried phoning but they didn't get back to me.

HV support is not what it was. I am seeing her this week (if it doen't get cancelled, last week did) and will be talking to her about the fact that I feel almost as if I have PTSD and cry and get physically anxious even thinking about my boy's first year.

I'm not aware that any checks are mandatory......?

Hope you manage to get some help with your PTSD.

Reams

PartTimeMe wrote: »

Just to say about HV. My area is massively understaffed, in fact we didn't have a named HV until my child was nearly 2y. OPs area may be similar

He is my only child but we still only saw someone a couple of times for mandaatory checks. I have turned up at the clinic and begged for advice and seen whoever came back to the office first. I tried phoning but they didn't get back to me.

HV support is not what it was. I am seeing her this week (if it doen't get cancelled, last week did) and will be talking to her about the fact that I feel almost as if I have PTSD and cry and get physically anxious even thinking about my boy's first year.

Yes to be fair I only had one visit as all was fine.
Fact remains why should a 22 year old have this on her shoulders? Wondering if the baby next door is being cared for properly?

savingmummy

As you`ve heard mum saying that I would probably `assume` she is really struggling, OR there may be no reason as to why baby is crying I would take what she said as there being no medical issue.


I have been told before from the non emergency police (101) that if ever your concerned about a child to contact them.
This could then cause issues as to who reported them, and then cause more neighbourly issues BUT this family do sound like they need help - it MAY only get worse!
I would personally do this.

OR Maybe contact the local clinic and see if you can speak with the health visitor - by giving the address they will know what health visitor works there.
This would be more subtle having her visit therefore her not suspecting a neighbour has complained.

notanewuser

Reams wrote: »

Yes to be fair I only had one visit as all was fine.
Fact remains why should a 22 year old have this on her shoulders? Wondering if the baby next door is being cared for properly?

She doesn't "have it on her shoulders".She's been told who she can ring if she has concerns.

Reams

PartTimeMe wrote: »

OK, it sounds like we can assume that Mum doesn't know why baby is crying and is unable to stop it. Only you know howthis fits with the context of the rest of the noise you hear (is this type of threat common, a one off, regular?).

If I was you I would be concerned that the Mum is getting seriously close to the end of her teather. Do you know if there is anyone else next door? I would be far more concerned hearing this knowing that Mum and baby were alone.

If you are really, truely concerned for the welfare of the baby overnight then you are going to have to do something tonight.

You would never forgive yourself if you didn't and something happened.

If you decide you need to act now I would suggest either knocking on the door ( not alone, BF or Mum or friend, in tow as you do not know the mental state of the mother. If she is struggling to hope and sleep deprived she may not be acting rationally or even hallucinating). I would politely explain that you couldn't help hearing that they were both distressed, you have heard the baby crying the last few months and felt awkward approaching them but tonight you were worried they were alone and not ok.

If you feel this is not an option google if there is an emergency number for the Health Visitor team in your area. If not you will have to go the emergency services route.

I do understand how you feel. I was leaving playgroup with my toddler a couple of months ago when an extremely distressed young woman approached me and managed between sobs to explain that she had severe postnatal depression and was not allowed to be on her own with her baby but had had an argument with her boyfriend who had walked out the flat, leaving her with the baby. She was desperate to get to hospital with the baby so they could be admitted to th unit, and could she please borrow my phone to call a taxi. Unfortunately so as not to be on her own with the baby she had left it alone in the flat whilst she tried to get help :eek:

Had I not had my child with me I would have offered to wait with her at home while she got her stuff together and taxi HV arrived. I didn't feel I could put my child at risk by taking him into a potntially dangerous situation. There was a Sure Start center a couple of minutes away so I went there and pointed staff in the direction she had headed as soon as she'd made her calls. I scoured local news for days hoping not to find anything, but I often wonder how they got on.

If a post ever begins with OK, I never read on.

Reams

notanewuser wrote: »

She doesn't "have it on her shoulders".She's been told who she can ring if she has concerns.

And at what consequence to her?

Reams

notanewuser wrote: »

Is there a health visitor? I haven't seen mention of it on the thread (but might have missed it) and there's no law that says you have to use the HV services offered. With second children they're often more hands off than with first babies (and they're not that hands on with those) so it's possible there isn't anyone seeing baby regularly.

OP said a HV visits.

Georgiegirl256

notanewuser wrote: »

She doesn't "have it on her shoulders".She's been told who she can ring if she has concerns.

Exactly. To be honest, I don't think she has it "on her shoulders" and is more concerned about herself than the mother and baby.

If she seriously thought there was a problem then she would surely have done something about it before now.

To me, it sounds like the mother is at the end of her tether.

lulu_92

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Exactly. To be honest, I don't think she has it "on her shoulders" and is more concerned about herself than the mother and baby.

If she seriously thought there was a problem then she would surely have done something about it before now.

To me, it sounds like the mother is at the end of her tether.

Of course, because all I have done in this thread is talk about how much I don't care about the mum or the family in this situation and it's all about me.

I haven't gone round because I don't want to add further stress to her life and I don't want to be rude or disrespectful to her.

I am totally aware that she could be having a hard time - but it is equally hard to hear her screaming and swearing at both of her kids throughout the day. I've never heard her say anything as bad as what I heard today which is why it threw me off guard.

Of course I will think about myself to an extent in this situation. I have been ill for the past 2-3 months with no idea of the cause. I have to spend a lot of my time at home because I am simply too tired to go out and do anything. I'm not expecting any sympathy for this, I am merely saying that 1) the noise from next door doesn't really help and 2) I've been noticing it more than my OH because I'm in the house for more hours of the day than he is (I work 9-5 and he works 12-10)

Like Reams and savingmummy said, I have to be careful what I do because of the consequences it could cause to the family and also to my home life. Of course I don't want to do anything that could create problems between us.

I've told OH that I want the house on the market by January, just so I can see a light at the end of this horrible tunnel.

savingmummy

lulu_92 wrote: »

Like Reams and savingmummy said, I have to be careful what I do because of the consequences it could cause to the family and also to my home life. Of course I don't want to do anything that could create problems between us.

I've told OH that I want the house on the market by January, just so I can see a light at the end of this horrible tunnel.

If there is no issue nothing will happen to their family.
If there is a problem they will get help.