Baby next door crying non-stop!

mummyroysof3

That's not a normal thing to say but I can understand if she is struggling and reaching her limit of patience things can be said but that still is not acceptable IMO.

lulu_92

mummyroysof3 wrote: »

That's not a normal thing to say but I can understand if she is struggling and reaching her limit of patience things can be said but that still is not acceptable IMO.

Yeah that's exactly what I thought.

mountainofdebt

Not as bad as some of the experiences on here but I can remember Junior crying non stop one day and I can remember having to put him in his cot, still crying, as I could feel the frustration welling up in me and I was afraid that I would do something stupid.

Seriously though, lulu what do you want us to say?

Numerous posters, including myself, have said if you have concerns then YOU need to do something about it and if that means calling SS then so be it.

Surely its better to call SS needlessly than to wait until something awful has happened and then wish you had done something.

We can offer solutions but only you can act upon them

lulu_92

Don't worry I am seriously considering my options. It is hard to think rationally when all you want to do is go round and tell them to be quiet! That's not something I would do as it is incredibly insensitive and rude.

Takeaway_Addict

thorsoak wrote: »

Thanks for defending me Nicki - I'm big enough and ugly enough to take the vitriol that has been chucked at me on this thread!

I was extremely surprised at just how upset I felt last night, and how the feelings I experienced all those years ago surfaced. It proves how much a crying baby can leave one feeling absolutely helpless and unable to cope on anything but the most basic of levels.

I appreciate that it must be horrendous for anyone who experiences it at second hand - but to take the attitude that any parent should sound-proof their home before having a baby just takes the biscuit!

And now, I'm out of here! Lulu and all the other childless posters who may have children in the future - I wish you well - and would not wish a persistantly crying baby on my worst enemy - let alone any of you.

Who said before?

I've always said it should be done if the baby is crying constantly and causing issues for neighbours. Sound proofing may not be required if the baby only has the odd outburst as any neighbour can accept this but to not do so if required is a selfish act with no care for those affected unintentionally.

vqmismatch

Sounds like an absolute nightmare to me. I use a set of Peltor optime 3 ear defenders when neighbour noise is an issue and I find they do a wonderful job and are comfortable enough to sleep in. I've never got on particularly well with ear plugs but have had a semi-reasonable sleep with a pair inside the ear defenders when one set of housemates were throwing one hell of a party in the very next room.

I'm not sure why hating the noise of screaming children in particular is so bad, I'd take a party next door over a screaming child any day.

Reams

lulu_92 wrote: »

The thing I heard was "I wish I was f'ing killing you because then you would have a reason to cry"
The neighbours next to them are Chinese and I rarely see them in (although they've had no issue dumping loads of sand in my parking space!)

I only see them go out to take the son to karate once a week

So what you've been describing as an irritating noise actually has been playing on your mind as to possible abuse, but your mind was shutting that out.
To all who say ring SS, and talk about a community raising a child and so on, even a mother screaming at her baby does not excuse a snitch to SS by many neighbours/friends/family, so lulu is in a very difficult position.
As a 22 year old with her own home, she has a lot to lose and I daresay her partner would be against making waves. If I was lulu's mum I'd be terrified for her getting bricks through her windows or worse after making a report.


The baby does have a health visitor, surely she must bear the responsibility for the baby's welfare? if the baby is not thriving or the mum says it cries non stop then the health visitor must offer solutions. Health Visitor= Baby SS?


Distressing lulu, but for the time being I'd advise staying out as the mother is being cared for.
There must be social workers here who could advise, but for the moment I say stay out because of the Health Visitor, distressing though it all is.

notanewuser

Reams wrote: »

The baby does have a health visitor, surely she must bear the responsibility for the baby's welfare? if the baby is not thriving or the mum says it cries non stop then the health visitor must offer solutions. Health Visitor= Baby SS?

Is there a health visitor? I haven't seen mention of it on the thread (but might have missed it) and there's no law that says you have to use the HV services offered. With second children they're often more hands off than with first babies (and they're not that hands on with those) so it's possible there isn't anyone seeing baby regularly.

PartTimeMe

OK, it sounds like we can assume that Mum doesn't know why baby is crying and is unable to stop it. Only you know howthis fits with the context of the rest of the noise you hear (is this type of threat common, a one off, regular?).

If I was you I would be concerned that the Mum is getting seriously close to the end of her teather. Do you know if there is anyone else next door? I would be far more concerned hearing this knowing that Mum and baby were alone.

If you are really, truely concerned for the welfare of the baby overnight then you are going to have to do something tonight.

You would never forgive yourself if you didn't and something happened.

If you decide you need to act now I would suggest either knocking on the door ( not alone, BF or Mum or friend, in tow as you do not know the mental state of the mother. If she is struggling to hope and sleep deprived she may not be acting rationally or even hallucinating). I would politely explain that you couldn't help hearing that they were both distressed, you have heard the baby crying the last few months and felt awkward approaching them but tonight you were worried they were alone and not ok.

If you feel this is not an option google if there is an emergency number for the Health Visitor team in your area. If not you will have to go the emergency services route.

I do understand how you feel. I was leaving playgroup with my toddler a couple of months ago when an extremely distressed young woman approached me and managed between sobs to explain that she had severe postnatal depression and was not allowed to be on her own with her baby but had had an argument with her boyfriend who had walked out the flat, leaving her with the baby. She was desperate to get to hospital with the baby so they could be admitted to th unit, and could she please borrow my phone to call a taxi. Unfortunately so as not to be on her own with the baby she had left it alone in the flat whilst she tried to get help :eek:

Had I not had my child with me I would have offered to wait with her at home while she got her stuff together and taxi HV arrived. I didn't feel I could put my child at risk by taking him into a potntially dangerous situation. There was a Sure Start center a couple of minutes away so I went there and pointed staff in the direction she had headed as soon as she'd made her calls. I scoured local news for days hoping not to find anything, but I often wonder how they got on.

PartTimeMe

Just to say about HV. My area is massively understaffed, in fact we didn't have a named HV until my child was nearly 2y. OPs area may be similar

He is my only child but we still only saw someone a couple of times for mandaatory checks. I have turned up at the clinic and begged for advice and seen whoever came back to the office first. I tried phoning but they didn't get back to me.

HV support is not what it was. I am seeing her this week (if it doen't get cancelled, last week did) and will be talking to her about the fact that I feel almost as if I have PTSD and cry and get physically anxious even thinking about my boy's first year.