Money Moral Dilemma: Should I offer to pay for my bridesmaid dress?

nervous_pilchard

i was asked to pay for my own suit after being asked to be best man.

so i did this, and made it my "gift" to them as a wedding present.

all parties happy

gaving7095

GwylimT wrote: »

I think if someone is invited to be a bridesmaid or usher etc the bride or groom should pay for the outfit they are required to wear, after all you wouldn't invite a guest and expect them to pay for their food, table decorations or favour.

LOL I have known guests to be asked to pay for their food, etc.
It is amazing, the depths of cheekiness that people will stoop to these days...

guardiangirl

I am getting married next year and I paid for my 3 bridesmaids dresses - that being said I didn't give them a say in it! I ordered them on a whim from Coast when they had low stock!

I will pay for their hair as I would like it done professionally, but I won't pay for their make up as I don't mind if they want to do it themselves. I am also not going to pay for shoes as the dresses are long and would rather they wore something they were comfortable in.

I will probably pay for jewellery too, but due to the style of the dress it will probably only be a small bracelet (no necklace etc)

I do think it is more common now for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses but as a bride to be I wouldn't expect this in a million years, and if I did need them to pay I would certainly have told them when I asked them to be my Bridesmaids.

purpleweasel

When my sister was my (only) bridesmaid we chose her hire dress together which I paid for. I then based the colours of flowers/groom's tie etc on that of her dress. That way i knew she's be wearing a colour which suited her - after all, i would be in white! Same when i was her bridesmaid, we chose the dress together, she paid for the hire and her colours were based on my dress, and she paid for the hire. Worked well for us and no-one had to wear pink...

redfragglebiker

we get married next year and having never been married before I assumed we would cover the costs of the bridesmaid dresses (which we are doing) as it is my choice regarding what colour I want them in (although within that colour they hve been told style etc is completely up to them) I;m also having my sisters little one as a flower girl (Sis is one of my bridesmaids) and she has said she would LIKE to pay for the flower girl dress. She did offer to pay for her bridesmaid dress but I told her no as I know she doesn't have a lot of money and we'd already budgeted for paying for their dresses. As the little one can be in ANY generic flower girl dress I have allowed her to buy this and I have just bought a corresponding coloured shash to add to the dress on the day.

seven-day-weekend

When my husband was (second choice) best man a few years ago, the groom wanted him to pay for the top-hat-and-tails that he wanted my husband to wear.

My husband just said to him 'if you want me to wear those, you pay for them. Otherwise I'm wearing my own suit'.

The groom paid up.

nczm

I've found that it's usually the brides who want 8 bridesmaids who end up asking them to foot the bill, my view is have less bridesmaids!
For my wedding I will be having 2 (my sisters) and I will be buying, my OH sister has asked to be a bridesmaid and I have agreed assuming she buys the dress.

FluffyOwl_2

I was a bridesmaid last summer, and the bride paid for our dresses. All three of us bridesmaids wore the same dress, we all loved it and we have all worn it since to other events. Excellent! The bride also paid for our shoes (we had different styles), we wore our own jewellery (again, different styles) and so the only thing we paid for was our hair appointment (and make up if we wanted it done professionally). We discussed it all at the beginning so we knew who would be paying for what, and I think it was this communication which helped it all come together!

nikkict

When i got married nearly 2yrs ago, we paid for my adult bridesmaids dress,she offered to pay but i felt as i had asked her to be a bridesmaid it was something i should pay for. She did get a say on the style of dress, but not the colour. My in laws paid for the little bridesmaids who were my husbands nieces, although we never asked or expected them to pay.
I think if a bridesmaid wanted complete say over the dress then it would be fair to ask them to contribute a bit.

tain

I really hate this attitude of 'I've made the choice to get married, everyone else should now dig deep and pay up'.

I can't think of anything more selfish.


Ask her if she's thought about cutting back on some other part of her wedding so she can afford to pay for your dresses. Not sure why someone should have an extra layer of cake that's a few hundred quid, while you're left paying for their dresses. I'd expect someone's wedding to be entirely on the breadline before expecting to cough up.