Can you invite one and not the other?

LEJC

I would invite people in couples that you know are couples...but I wouldnt extend invitations to plus ones of singles or couples where I didnt know the partner.


If space is really an issue then invite just close family and special friends


To say there are parking restrictions seems a little strange as an excuse because even if I were invited to something with or without my husband...unless it was within close walking distance the car would come too...so it might as easily transport 2 as 1....


the other halves that you are possibly wanting to avoid inviting,are they relatives...ie if my husband was invited to say a cousins party and I wasnt then I'm unsure he or we would attend....if he were invited to a work collegues party who I didnt know then I guess I wouldnt really have an issue and it would be up to him if he attended.


theres no point having a party or any gathering that has undecurrants running through it...if you are just helping someone compile a list of invites and she wants to invite partners ....then I think you must go with her gut feeling rather than yours,even if that means inviting fewer couples or indeed more people than intended!

aileth

Inviting one half of a couple is a sure-fire way to create a huge fall-out.

If one of us was invited, neither of us would go.

redmel1621

I would never invite someone and exclude their partner. It somehow seems rude. I know If I was invited somewhere and my husband told he couldn't attend I sure as hell wouldn't go.

I space is an issue then I would invite less people but still allow the ones who were invited to bring their partners...

As for parking restrictions, even if only one half of a couple attended, surely they would still drive?? If there are parking restrictions outside the house can you point people to an appropriate parking area within walking distance, or recommend they get a taxi.

picklekin

Unless its a business thing, you should always invite the couple as a whole. If someone invited me without my husband I'd not go anyway.

Actually, I'd probably assume it was an oversight as no one does that and just turn up as a couple anyway!!

fannyanna

AubreyMac wrote: »

When making a list of who to invite, she reckons if one person gets invited then their partner has to be invited too.

We have to keep numbers down as 1) it's a small house/ garden and 2) there are parking restrictions.

I agree that partners should be invited.

Also I don't think inviting someone's partner is going to have a big impact on parking. Most partners will tend to travel together to an event.

AubreyMac wrote: »

This reminds me of a previous situation where at a party, a friend wanted to invite her grandchild but did not want the child's mother there. Her son had split with her grandchild's mother for several years and her son along with his girlfriend would be at this party. In the end she just had to tell her grandson's mother that she couldn't go but did face a backlash for it.

This however I think is quite normal.

Edited to clarify that I think it's normal not to invite ex-partners of a family member (and you shouldn't have to deal with any backlash).

moomoomama27

I think it wuold be very tricky to do!

I wouldn;t go if it was a friend to us both, and only one of us were invited! Fair enough it's an all blokes thing, but to cut out partners seems odd!

I think I would form a bit of a negative opinion of a person who was a friend and did that to me or my husband!

This makes me remember my (at the time best friends wedding), where my daughter (her goddaughter) was a bridesmaid. At the time she was only just 6 years old, and because of numbers my friend was only asking immediate faimily to the meal, as well as the wedding party (bridesmaids etc). I said my daughter couldnt be a bridesmaid if that was the case, as she didn;t know anyone other than my friend, suffered severe asthma and I wouldn't be confident leaving her from 8am until the 7.30pm evening do! In the end she agreed to me being there as long as I paid my meal, hence to say, after the event we cut all ties.

lika_86

If I was having a do and was limited on numbers/space/funds then I certainly wouldn't feel obliged to invite partners of friends unless they were a friend of mine too. The one exception would be where the invitee wouldn't know anyone other than the host, in which case it's polite to invite their partner for company.

I'm surprised by the number of people on here who seem to need their partner there. If I was invited somewhere and knew that my friends were going then I'd go, I certainly wouldn't turn down an invitation just because my boyfriend wasn't invited.

Alikay

AubreyMac wrote: »

Regarding my friends grandchild, this is often a recurring issue every time there is a family function.

Can't understand why: Surely if it's the dad's friends or family giving the invitation then child goes with dad, if it's mum's friend or family's party, they go with mum. Simple.

As for only inviting one half of a couple, I'd never do that unless it was, say, a girly night or lads going paintballing etc. Maybe new girlfriends/boyfriends would get missed off a wedding invitation but if at all possible I'd always do a "plus one" invite.

ska_lover

Bit tricky - Inviting one half of a couple is a bit like playing favourites and bound to put someone's nose out of joint.

OP, this sounds like a (mainly) family BBQ - am I right? You say you are helping a relative to organise the BBQ for her husbands birthday. If it IS family that are mainly to be invited, be careful. I say this as you state that your brother in law doesn't ever get invited anywhere

Clearly other members of your family are ''in on'' this social exclusion of your brother in law as he gets ''invited no where'' as he isn't liked within the family. If you don't invite certain family members, they may draw the same conclusion and think they are now the black sheep

Obviously I don't know the ins and outs or why you all dislike the man, but I think it is a shame that you cannot all at least try with the brother in law, because the very fact that her husband does not get included in your family 'do's' must put your sister under a lot of pressure. He is her choice of husband - no one elses. I must say if for some reason my family decided they were not going to invite my husband to gatherings I wouldn't even contemplate attending - as he is 'family' - your sisters.

FBaby

If my husband's single friend invited him alone with only his male friends, I wouldn't have an issue with it. Boys getting together!

If however a couple friends of us invited my husband alone, whilst a few others came as a couple, I wouldn't be impressed at all (and thankfully, my husband wouldn't go in these circumstances anyway).