pregnant with no home

Mojisola

hickles69 wrote: »

He is embarrassed by his debt as it reminds him of his gambling days.

He's embarrassed that you've found out about his debt!

If he was embarrassed by the debt itself, he would have been paying it off.

Scottie_dog

I would suggest a frank discussion with him about his debts and how much money he has coming in each month. You need to get these issues ironed out before any future family you have arrive. Money issues are very common in relationships but they can be worked out and improved upon. Good luck op x

Lily-Rose_3

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Dozey_crow

I'm not sure what would do in your situation BUT from reading your post my instinct is that you need to set yourself up alone- as your are pregnant and possibly homeless you need to go to your local council as you will be prioritized.
From what you have written I think he needs to stay where he is until he grows up a bit. I am not saying you need to end the relationship but I think you need to put the baby first and financial security is so so so important.

It's all very difficult but you will be entitled to help and you need to have a long think/ if you all stay together will you end up being a parent who has to scramble about for school trip /dinnermoneybecausethechild's dad had spent it or has not contributed to the household budget and you are overstretched? Or do you want a controllable situation albeit on your own?

Sending you hugs

bigmomma051204

I would suggest that you head down to your local housing team (usually based at council offices)... Ask to speak with a housing adviser/officer.

Explain your situation - Take a letter from your current landlord stating clearly that you will be homeless as of XXX date. You also need to take proof of pregnancy, so get registered with GP asap and arrange to see a midwife for booking in appt (this will happen when you are approx 8 weeks)...

Usually housing works on a points system, and generally speaking, if you have a low income and are pregnant and due to become homeless, this would bump you up on the priority list. Of course, they will take your considerable savings into account, so may tell you to suck it up and spend them on securing a private rent property as really, with that amount of savings, you can't plead poverty... You would almost certainly be given more priority as a SINGLE pregnant person who is homeless, but please don't just tell that them you are single to "jump the queue"... At such an early stage of pregnancy, you will be treated as a single person with no dependants - usually they won't take the pregnancy into account until considerably later in gestation.

But you need to go down there with all of you evidence:

*proof of pregnancy,
*proof of income - 3xmonths payslips,
*3x months worth of bank statements (same details for partner if you want a joint tenancy/occupancy)
*and don't forget that letter stating that you will be homeless.

bigmomma051204

Dozey_crow wrote: »

I'm not sure what would do in your situation BUT from reading your post my instinct is that you need to set yourself up alone- as your are pregnant and possibly homeless you need to go to your local council as you will be prioritized.
From what you have written I think he needs to stay where he is until he grows up a bit. I am not saying you need to end the relationship but I think you need to put the baby first and financial security is so so so important.

It's all very difficult but you will be entitled to help and you need to have a long think/ if you all stay together will you end up being a parent who has to scramble about for school trip /dinnermoneybecausethechild's dad had spent it or has not contributed to the household budget and you are overstretched? Or do you want a controllable situation albeit on your own?

Sending you hugs

And how will the highlighted give this man the opportunity to sort himself out? Where will the incentive be... If he gets someone pregnant, and doesn't pay off his debts, its okay - the tax payer will pick up the bill for the housing of said child & partner. Oh and he can stay with his parents. And they can pretend that they aren't a couple, despite being couple enough 5 weeks ago to make a baby.

I really HATE it when people encourage others to take advantage wrongly of the systems in this country. Just because other people do it, doesn't mean YOU have to! :cool:

And I reiterate - 5 weeks pregnant is NOT going to be a viable stage in pregnancy to make the OP be prioritised!!! So forget this idea that you will rock up to housing team tomorrow and tell them that you took a home pregnancy test a couple of days ago and they will simply take your word for it!!

savingmummy

hickles69 wrote: »

I've just been promoted and on £23k I'm not sure what he is on as never seen a wage slip

You need to sit down and talk!


Seriously his been letting you believe his been saving and he hasn`t. How much did you think he had saved?
He has debts how much? Is he staying out of debt?
He don`t inform you of how much his earning, what else does he not discuss.
This man is going to be the father of your child and will need to support you and his son/daughter! SO he needs to get himself straight and organised!


Definitely go to your local council as your on the list already, you will need to update your homeless situation.


Good luck x

pinkshoes

I'd tell him he needs to account for every penny of his wage for the next two months, otherwise your leaving.

Sit down with him and go through where all his money needs to go, including some spending money.

He has been dishonest, so needs to make a huge effort to show he cares. Otherwise, how are you going to rely on him when the baby comes???

HPoirot

£2 coin? Really??

I wouldn't assume this man is about to change just because he is about to become a father. Not a popular option, but I wouldn't want to bring a child into such an insecure situation. At 5 weeks gone I would actually be thinking long and hard if I ever wanted a child with him at all.

alias*alibi

For all those saying go to the council as you will be potentially homeless; she's got £12k in savings and will be laughed out of the offices and told to fend for herself until she's below £3k! Even then if she was classed as homeless they wouldn't house her until she was actually on the street and then quite possibly put in to a B&B for months on end REGARDLESS of being pregnant/having a baby; and that's some way off yet as the pregnancy is not even viable at 5 weeks!!!! That is the information I was given in the exact same position as the OP less the £12k savings.

Instead of all you do gooders encouraging yet another woman to kick her 'lazy washed up' partner to the kerb and claiming benefits and homes that most other women get slated for, how about encouraging her to talk and sort things out with her partner so 1) the child grows up in a 2 parent household, 2) she isn't reliant on benefits/house that the state can ill afford and 3) becomes another statistic? Funny how her partner was ok to have sex with 5 weeks ago but now he is a loser now she's pregnant?!