pregnant with no home

**Patty**

Given your current living arrangements......

Is he too going to be *homeless* as of november?

Has he said anything about alternative living accommodation?

Or is he waiting for you to sort that out too?

alias*alibi

kev25v6 wrote: »

Sounds like he not worth hanging around for to be honest. I'd be looking at options of moving out without him and claiming csa from him. Single working parents get a lot more benefits wise than as a couple.

Fantastic; advocate single life for benefits reasons and stuff the child who would probably prefer to grow up with both parents! Funny, I thought single mothers were classed as benefit scroungers and the lowest of the low on this board... But here you are advocating it because the baby's father has only saved up £100?! Jesus. Talk about the worst generalised information anybody could ever offer someone. Plus you then suggest chasing him for CSA payments when as far as I can see apart from being bad with money, he hasn't actually done much else wrong. Speechless.

krlyr

alias*alibi wrote: »

Plus you then suggest chasing him for CSA payments when as far as I can see apart from being bad with money, he hasn't actually done much else wrong. Speechless.

Well, OP seemed to think he was paying off his debts and saving for their future - so aside from being useless with money, that would be quite a bit of deception in my eyes.

alias*alibi

krlyr wrote: »

Well, OP seemed to think he was paying off his debts and saving for their future - so aside from being useless with money, that would be quite a bit of deception in my eyes.

Yeah; a huge reason to make a child fatherless!

marisco_2

BigAunty wrote: »

plus should be entitled to 10% of the sperm donor's gross income (whatever that is....).

I cant bare that term. However unlikely it may seem at the moment, I hope very much that the OPs boyfriend steps up to the mark, and will be a proper dad to their child. In my professional life I see the damage done to kids who miss out on that most vital of bonds. Every child needs their dad in their life to take interest in them and be a positive influence.

krlyr

alias*alibi wrote: »

Yeah; a huge reason to make a child fatherless!

Just as good an idea as staying with someone you can't trust because you're pregnant.

Of course, none of us know the full story. kev25v6's post was just a suggestion of how they'd act in the situation, it wasn't a demand to OP.

hickles69

BigAunty wrote: »

Jesus! You cohabit with someone who is the father of your child and you don't know how much he earns? I assume that due to this cageyness, you also have no true idea of his debts?

Just in case you think you do, please note that we often see posts on this and the Debt Free wanabee board where people find out their partners owe much more than they've confessed to, plus they often have a canny knack of running up more debt while on a debt management scheme.

I knew what he earned but it's a couple of years ago and he's not sure himself. His wage slips are filed in with mine I just haven't ever looked.

He's just come up and asked about stepchanges so that's a start. He is embarrassed by his debt as it reminds him of his gambling days.

alias*alibi

BigAunty wrote: »

Your post is very sensible.

However, it looks like the OP was pretty much a lone parent in all but name at the point of conception, living with a lazy consumerist man-child who still lives with his parents, who hasn't divulged his income, who she effectively subsidises.

EDIT - if she moves out and becomes the truly independent person that she already is (despite co-habiting, there doesn't seem to be much sharing) then she gets to spend what she earns or is entitled to from the benefits system on herself and her child without being financially exploited, plus should be entitled to 10% of the sperm donor's gross income (whatever that is....).

It takes 2 people to make a child and the bolded term you've used is highly derogatory considering you only know what the OP has said.

gingin_2

hickles69 wrote: »

He is embarrassed by his debt as it reminds him of his gambling days.

Are you sure those days are over? Where has his money been going if it hasn't been paying off debts?

summerspring

I find it a bit odd that someone doesn't know what their income is. I often used to wait for payday and I knew exactly how much was going into my account. (not much as it happens, but I knew how much to expect!)