pregnant with no home

jaylee3

hickles69 wrote: »

thank you I have never heard of this. I've been on social housing list since 2010 I'll have a look. Thank you. I am not sure what I want baby wise so panicked about the housing situation.

That's OK. It's just another option isn't it?

I can see that you live in Hampshire, but I don't know exactly where, but maybe try googling for 'rent first buy later homes' in or near your town (or anywhere you may consider living!)

Then that means that you can rent for a few years (maybe one to three years or so,) and then buy that very house at a later date. And you can usually buy it in bits too.

I know someone who did this with a scheme like this, and she rented for 4 years, and is now purchasing part of it, and will buy it all eventually. I don't much care for shared ownership, but if you (like she is) are planning to buy outright, then this sounds ideal.

Or maybe ask your local council; they usually have information about schemes like this.

hickles69

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

Does he work, and if not, why?

Yes he works. He's just useless with money.

BigAunty

hickles69 wrote: »

He contributed when he could but I thought he was clearing his debts.

Get him to contact a proper debt management charity like Stepchange to thrash out an affordable debt strategy that doesn't leave him short when it comes to providing for you and your child.

The Shelter website provides info on the homelessness process, how a local council will assess your application.

You should check your benefit entitlement on the Turn2us benefit calculator and identify the LHA rate for a 1 & 2 bed property so you can understand the level of housing benefit, perhaps council tax discount and working tax credit that you could receive before having the baby and child benefit, perhaps child tax credit afterwards.

Many people in employment on low incomes qualify for housing benefit.

You could also model the scenario of being a lone parent, accept that your partner is selfish, unreliable and immature.

hickles69

jaylee3 wrote: »

That's OK. It's just another option isn't it?

I can see that you live in Hampshire, but I don't know exactly where, but maybe try googling for 'rent first buy later homes' in or near your town (or anywhere you may consider living!)

Then that means that you can rent for a few years (maybe one to three years or so,) and then buy that very house at a later date. And you can usually buy it in bits too.

I know someone who did this with a scheme like this, and she rented for 4 years, and is now purchasing part of it, and will buy it all eventually. I don't much care for shared ownership, but if you (like she is) are planning to buy outright, then this sounds ideal.

Or maybe ask your local council; they usually have information about schemes like this.

I'm going to try and get an afternoon off work to go to the council and see what advice they can give. Thank you for your help.

hickles69

BigAunty wrote: »

Get him to contact a proper debt management charity like Stepchange to thrash out an affordable debt strategy that doesn't leave him short when it comes to providing for you and your child.

The Shelter website provides info on the homelessness process, how a local council will assess your application.

You should check your benefit entitlement on the Turn2us benefit calculator and identify the LHA rate for a 1 & 2 bed property so you can understand the level of housing benefit, perhaps council tax discount and working tax credit that you could receive before having the baby and child benefit, perhaps child tax credit afterwards.

Many people in employment on low incomes qualify for housing benefit.

You could also model the scenario of being a lone parent, accept that your partner is selfish, unreliable and immature.

thank you all useful bits. He does care really he just likes to bury his head in the sand. He has just said the company he has used for debt repayments takes a percentage of the money so I'll broach stepchanges with him again.

Thank you.

BigAunty

hickles69 wrote: »

Yes he works. He's just useless with money.

Offer that he pays his full wages into a joint account where you will manage all household bills and a house deposit saving fund from it while you control a standing order out of it to give him pocket money, plus a sum that covers his expertly drawn up debt management repayment schedule.....

Check your social housing allocation policy document to see if being pregnant carries any extra priority, for example, plus how they will treat you when you are served notice by your current landlord and become technically homeless.

hickles69

BigAunty wrote: »

Offer that he pays his full wages into a joint account where you will manage all household bills and a house deposit saving fund from it while you control a standing order out of it to give him pocket money, plus a sum that covers his expertly drawn up debt management repayment schedule.....

Check your social housing allocation policy document to see if being pregnant carries any extra priority, for example, plus how they will treat you when you are served notice by your current landlord and become technically homeless.

He went quiet when I suggested this but has assured me that he will think about it. Trouble is he's so laid back he's virtually lying down which can be really frustrating.

Lots here to help me thank you; I have some options.

Marshmallow82

How much is your salary and his salary?

If you're on a low income you may be entitled to some housing benefit

BigAunty

hickles69 wrote: »

thank you all useful bits. He does care really he just likes to bury his head in the sand. He has just said the company he has used for debt repayments takes a percentage of the money so I'll broach stepchanges with him again.

Thank you.

Unfortunately, sticking the head in the sand, while not malicious, is not particularly helpful either. He's not being uncaring but his poor decision making is impacting his role to provide for his future child and repair your relationship damaged by his squandering and denial. He needs to know that his inactivity is harmful to all of you, that type of neglect of financial affairs and dealing with its impact on your relationship is not victimless.

The debt free wanabee board on MSE has a lot of experienced, non judgemental posters there. One thing that is repeatedly recommended is to avoid any kind of commercial debt management strategy where they require payment from the debtor and to use the services of charities who are experts in this field and have no financial interest in their clients.

Are you at the stage where you feel like offering him an ultimatum? Such as 'show that you are committed to providing for us as a family by getting on top of your debts and improving your budgeting skills or I will raise this child alone'. Or are you not sufficiently frustrated or confident enough to do this.

On this forum, we come across many women posting, often with children, where they end up with a man-child who drains their income and energy, a guy who prioritises his own interests and doesn't offer an equal relationship. Quite often, the women suffer from the debts inflicted on the household by going short of basics and the type of attitude where debt isn't seen as an issue can also show itself in other selfish behaviours.

BigAunty

hickles69 wrote: »

He went quiet when I suggested this but has assured me that he will think about it. Trouble is he's so laid back he's virtually lying down which can be really frustrating.

Lots here to help me thank you; I have some options.

I'm sorry, is Laid back a euphamism for Lazy?

Perhaps you could tell him that you plan to present yourself as a lone parent to the council homeless department but that if he ever sorts himself out properly, you will consider letting him join your future household.