How to remove son's girlfriend

duchy

Homeownertobe wrote: »

I wonder what the advice would be if this was an abusive boyfriend living with his girlfriend's family. I don't think there would be any of insults about him being immature, pathetic and a coward somehow. Shame on you all.

Having rows in a relationship is not an abusive relationship. Most couples have rows sometimes - it is normal.
(In fact it could be argued that a lack of rows could mean one partner is too scared to disagree or challenge their partner)

I think a parent allowing a first girlfriend to move into the family home after a month because their son wanted it *is* pathetic. I also think having invited a young woman to share your home -wanting to throw her stuff into bin bags and throw her out before addressing it with a calm and civilized conversation qualifies as immature, pathetic and cowardly - whether it is father or son we are talking about. If it was a Mother wanting to do it- the same would apply. Nothing to do with gender except from the stance that as well as having the "power" of home owner or tenancy holder the OP is most likely physically bigger and stronger than a nineteen year old girl (and so is his 23 year old son too quite possibly)

LandyAndy

So.


What happened?

VestanPance

I'd say both the OP and her son need to grow a backbone.

He needs to man up and finish with the girl. The OP needs to be a parent and tell her son no when he plans to move a girl into their home that he met a matter of weeks previously.

Buzzybee90

The OPs username is Dave, am I missing the bit where they said they were a she not a he?

LandyAndy

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

The OPs username is Dave, am I missing the bit where they said they were a she not a he?

You do wonder at the value of advice given by people who are too asleep to spot something that obvious.

VestanPance

My mistake. He needs to man up and not pander to his son them. Treat a 24 year old as a child and it's no wonder he acts like one.

newcook

While I appreciate that they are arguing and the son wants to end the relationship, I think its really harsh for them to say ‘you’ve got half an hour to pack and go’ or ‘your stuff is all packed in bin bags’ – at least give the girl chance to find somewhere to move to!

Oh, and OP – your son needs to man up and tell this girl himself that he wants to end the relationship and move out.

lostinrates

LandyAndy wrote: »

You do wonder at the value of advice given by people who are too asleep to spot something that obvious.

It was raised earlier in the thread. Some people gave gender neutral advice from the start

Primrose

Dad, I don't want to take a swipe at your parenting skills but don't you think letting your son's girlfriend move in so quickly was pandering to his immediate gratification skills rather than encouraging him to stand on his own two feet and take responsibility for his own relationship in terms of looking after his girlfriend? Many 24 year old boys are parents at this age and taking responsibility for their own children and here you are almost still wiping his backside for him! How on earth is he going to take responsibility as an adult if he never develops any backbone or people management skills? You are not helping him, even though you think you are. You risk making him a laughing stock amongst his peers too. Give him a deadline to talk to her, do the deed and make sure HE takes the responsibility for helping her pack , find somewhere else to move to or move back with her parents AND organising the transport to take her and her belongings to her new abode. And also encourage him in his next relatio ship to take more time getting to know somebody properly as a person before committing to cohabiting with her. He's putting the cart before the horse.

purpleshoes_2

OP hasnt been back on to update, just one of these threads where someone lobs a verbal hand grenade out and then cant be bothered coming back on.