How to remove son's girlfriend

egoode

I agree with others, it was a bit stupid you let him move her in so early in their relationship and like others I wouldn't have let them move in a all if they think they are mature enough to have a live in relationship then they should be mature enough to get their own place.

As for the break up he needs to be the one to do it and it needs to be done with no one else there. If it is an abusive relationship maybe you should be on the premises if it gets physical but all you mention was rowing and her putting him down but is he also doing the same to her?

It sounds like both of them are immature and need to start stepping up and taking responsibility for their decisions and actions. Part of a job of being a parent is standing by and letting your kids take tumbles and falls so they learn and grow but then be there to pick them up afterwards.

savingmummy

Your son needs to end the relationship.
I`m assuming he will be, SO while his ending it no doubt she pack up her things and leave!


If he was married he`d have to deal with this himself so best for him to stand tall and deal with this relationship how he needs too.

jackyann

I would definitely check that she has somewhere safe to go, however badly you feel, you must make sure she is safe.

I'm with the faction that says tell your son that he must tell her, but you will be in the house and prepared to back him up if need be.

It sounds as if you know her parents, at least enough to check that they are at home & able to take her in.

Then, I think, a talk with your son about handling relationships, and make it clear that if he wants someone to live-in, he has to get his own place.

getmore4less

Phone the parents and tell them to come an collect her.

and him its there turn......

ska_lover

oh my days. Getting a parent to end a relationship? tell your son to grow a pair

Homeownertobe

I wonder what the advice would be if this was an abusive boyfriend living with his girlfriend's family. I don't think there would be any of insults about him being immature, pathetic and a coward somehow. Shame on you all.

cazziebo

Homeownertobe wrote: »

I wonder what the advice would be if this was an abusive boyfriend living with his girlfriend's family. I don't think there would be any of insults about him being immature, pathetic and a coward somehow. Shame on you all.

I think it would be almost exactly the same!

Who has their parents manage their relationships for them when they're in their 20s? Unless there is some kind of developmental disability then all your adjectives apply - male or female.

if the relationship was genuinely abusive, surely the parents would have stepped in before now? Sounds like a couple of kids who have to grow up.

redpete

Homeownertobe wrote: »

I wonder what the advice would be if this was an abusive boyfriend living with his girlfriend's family. I don't think there would be any of insults about him being immature, pathetic and a coward somehow. Shame on you all.

All we have from the OP is that she is immature and lazy, that they have rows and that she gives him "verbal abuse". This does not mean that she is an "abusive girlfriend" or that they are in an abusive relationship.

(BTW - the only use of the word "coward" in this thread was me referring to the father's suggestion of putting her belongings in a bag and putting them on the street. The father also says that his son "hasn't got the bottle" to deal with it himself.)

Pollycat

If the OP and his son are worried about potential violence/abuse from this 19 year old girl, the son should tell her to leave, backed up by his parents in the background - ready to step in if needed.

The idea of a parent telling their son's girlfriend to move out is - imho - ridiculous.

He is an adult.
He chose to bring her into the house, he should have the guts to tell her to go.

The option of putting her stuff into a binbag for when she returns from work is appalling.

Once the son has told this girl to leave, I think the OP & partner should then tell their son to grow up.
He's behaving like a pre-teenager.

tea_lover

If your son is 'man enough' to sleep with her then he should be man enough to end the relationship.